School Rights
My SD5 and SS4 are moving to a new school in January. At their last school I wasn't allowed anywhere near the it and even my husband was told to stay away as it would upset the children. This is a load of crap, they love seeing their dad and me, and I don't see how us being there on their first day or any other day would be a problem. I want us to be involved with the children at their new school and feel their first day would be a great place to start, as it's new to them some friendly faces would be good for them, it would also help for the school so see us there incase we are needed for anything, or we have to pick them up from school. I know exactly how this will go when he brings it up with BM, she'll say it'll upset the kids and it's frantic enough as it is, and if she doesn't get her own way she'll kick off and start making the usual threats about limiting access etc. My question is: Is there actually anything she can legally do to stop my husband being there? It is his children starting school after all. I can understand if I'm not allowed to be there, but he surely should be able to.
Depends on how your custody
Depends on how your custody reads. If you have joint legal custody there is nothing BM can do to limit DH's access to the kids at school. He would have the same rights to be there as BM would. If there is not joint legal, then she may very well be able to limit his access. Guess it all depends on what you have.
We have the children every
We have the children every weekend and school holidays. I'm not exactly sure what kind of custody that is. But does it mean he can't see his children out with those times?
It does not sound like you
It does not sound like you have 50/50 or joint legal custody. I work for a large school district and I would not advise your DH just showing up and expecting to see children just because he is the father. This could backfire on him, depending on what BM has said or presented to the school as far as custody arrangements. Unfortunatley I think this is something that you really need to work out with BM or a lawyer.
Trying to circumvent BM could possibly make your DH look like a "trouble maker" to the school, again especially if BM has already set the stage.
Most CO's are now joint, with
Most CO's are now joint, with one party being the PC(primary custodian). That means DH would have every right to go to school, meet teachers, etc.... In fact, even if he does not have joint, as the father, he still has the right to go and meet teachers and see the school. The only reason he wouldnt' is if there was something in the CO---I suggest you take a look at the CO if he has one, if not, he needs to get one for the future
I would just show up and
I would just show up and participate if I were you DH and you. I see no problem with you going with your DH to the school to meet the teachers, attend functions, got to Parent/Teacher conferences, etc..... If anyone asks who you are, tell them. I am (SKid's) StepMom.
Not fuss, no mess.
We have never had to struggle with this issue since we have not lived any closer to our son's (my SS-18) SpermClan than 1200 miles since we married when SS was 1yo. We are the CP family so I have always just been dad to the kid and his dad to the school
BioDad nor any of the SpermClan have ever participated in any school or extracurricular activity that our son has participated in. They did not even show up for his HS graduation in June of this year. No call, no card, nothing.
Though disappointing and hurtful to the kid, this sure has made my life as a Sparent easier.
Good luck.
No. There is nothin legally
No. There is nothin legally she can do. Unless your CO says he can't go near the school then he can. It sounds like she is just trying to be controlling. I would have dh go up to the school before school it starts. Have him meet the teacher and principal like be would if it were the beginning of the school year in August. He can be involved as much as he wants as long as that what the CO says.
Thanks everyone, that's
Thanks everyone, that's helped a lot. I think I'll send him to see the teachers on his own at first but have him mention the living arangements, and then take it from there. I'll maybe leave it to sports day or a school play to make an appearance, that may prevent BM from going off on one for a while.
Thanks for your help.