The Will

Never Again's picture

DH and I have been married 28 years, 2 BS's - a SD & SS for me (his). DH had a massive heart attack a couple years ago - almost lost him. We had wills done beforehand - standard wills: if he dies I get everything; if I die he gets everything. If we both go at the same time the 4 kids split his life policy evenly, our 2 split mine and then our 2 get the rest of the estate. It's spelled out very clearly and each party has been apprised several times.

My concern, at a recent family funeral, out of state, as DH talked about life & death issues, SD said she'll be happy as long as DH leaves her enough to pay off all her bills. (Uh - no mention about how sad it would be if he passed on.) SD and SS do not keep in touch with us, nor do they visit. We see SD at family funerals - to which she brings her BM! They do not want to have anything else to do with us - no calls, cards or gifts for holidays - EVER, although we do all of that for them, their spouses and grandchildren.

My worry is if something happens to DH can they contest the will? I stayed home to raise our children and when the youngest got out of school DH had his heart attack, so I stayed home to do all his computer work to keep his job - and health - going strong. If he is gone I will need what is left to start over - there isn't enough to fight a legal battle.

Most Evil's picture

You really should consult one in your state to be certain . . . I think since you are the spouse you get the entire insurance policy, but unless your name is also on any other property they may have some claim to what is in his name only. Check now to make sure!

It is tempting to cut these charmers out isn't it? I will see how my SD turns out but if she is like this, I would talk to DH about a new will.

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

Anne Summers's picture

about consulting an attorney. I would highly suggest finding an attorney that deals with probate court on a regular basis.

Currently in my state you can have assets, such as a home, deeded in both yours and your DH's names with a 'right of survivorship' clause included. This is if you or your DH die then the asset (aka home) will automatically be transferred into the other parties sole name. This, as far as I am aware, is not contestable in probate court.

If you feel like your SKids will try to take you to the cleaners then I suggest, if your DH agrees to it, that all assets/bank accounts/vehicles/etc be put solely in your name. This would stop any interference from SKids when DH dies. However, this would also mean that you are financially obligated if any liens or judgements are put against the assets. If your home still has a mortgage on it then I would suggest leaving the mortgage in your husband's name but him adding you to the deed.

I am so sorry that you guys have to think about depressing issues, such as the death of your spouse. Sad

Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat.

smurfy1smile's picture

I deal with real estate - its my job and many older couples are changing thier deeds to right of surviorship. When my mother passed, she did not do this and the house actually belonged to my disabled sister who still lived at home. She is mentally challenged - 30 with the mental abilities of a 12 year old. She is high functioning but thats another story. My mother's will could not be located or her husband hid it - which I would not put passed him. Long story short, my sister was told she had to sign the house over to him so she could still live there. Crazy!

Consult an attorney.

Anne Summers's picture

Could you not have your sister deemed as mentally incompetent over such matters as signing the house over? Is your mother's husband the gaurdian over your sister? I guess it just seems like something could be done since your sister is mentally challenged.

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

smurfy1smile's picture

My mom was working on all of that before she passed. She was supposed to give the information to me when it was all said and done so I could take care of my sister if mother passed. No mother's husband is not my sister's guardian. He can barely take care of himself and I blame him in part for my mothers early dimise.

My sister came to live with me last year and I was working on all that too but she could not remember the names or places of where she went to be evaluted so it made it harder to get all the stuff needed to get guardianship over her. She ran off with a "carnie" and I have not heard from her in almost a year. No idea if she is dead or alive.

I miss her very much!

Anne Summers's picture

Aw, kiddo, I am so sorry. I'm sure it was horrible enough to lose your mother but then to 'lose' your sister soon after. Sad I hope someday soon you will have your sister back in your life.

Take care.
*Hugs*

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

Anne Summers's picture

Aw, kiddo, I am so sorry. I'm sure it was horrible enough to lose your mother but then to 'lose' your sister soon after. Sad I hope someday soon you will have your sister back in your life.

Take care.
*Hugs*

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

anncanbike's picture

Interesting topic. Paranoid me. I had a will done 2 weeks after marriage leaving everything to my BD (whose 21 years old). I was so afraid if I left anything to DH his ex would find a way (if we died together) to take my BD's share for the younger swins, which she'd blow on drugs/gambling. She will not get one nickel of my money. I felt guilty writing him out but my daughter depends 100% on me past/present/future. One thing I suggest was putting my name on the house deed b.c. I don't want any problem staying here if you die & I promised his twins welcomed to live too if they want. Rather be safe than sorry with money I saved for daughter's college.