Dads rights Illinois
This question is for my DH:
1.) He was never married to his ex, they had 2 beautiful girls together. When the kids were 3 and 5 they seperated. They are now 7 and 9. He has had them full time since they seperated and she sees them maybe once every couple months and pays no child support. She is civil, if the girls call her and want to see her, she will accomidate kindly, when school starts she gets them some school clothes all very nicely, but doesn't do NEAR what she should.
When I bring up the conversation of him needing to go to court and get some legal rights to the girls, joint custody, sole custody SOMETHING legal and written, and child support here are his arguments.
"Why rock the boat?"
"Fathers never get rights."
"She could say I kidnapped them if she wanted to and then theyd be taken away." (This is the one I hate, so unrealistic, she gave them to him, he has raised them full time alone for 4 years, has great job, she is a bartender, doesnt see her kids nor support them. What court would take them away from a father like him?)
"I don't know how to bring it up with her, we get along I don't want to upset her."
SOMEONE HELP ME!!! How can i convince him? Any Male advice would be greatly appreciated because apparently I don't understand because I'm a mom and everything is given to moms. I just want to help him have some legal rights to our girls and in these financial times some CS wouldn't be so bad either. Thanks!
If they have been living you
If they have been living you with him all this time, there will be prove. Go to neighbors, doctors, teachers, daycare providers and get them to write written statements that they have been with you and of there well being. As long as you can show the judge that they have been with you as the primary caregiver and you have all your ducks in a row evidence wise everything will most likely stay the same. I would talk to a lawyer to be sure but as long as you can produce the evidence there will be no way she could claim kidnapping and take them. As for the upsetting her this isn't about her this about the children, 6mths from now she could take them for a visit and not return them and she would be withen her rights to do so without a court order to tell her no. Tell that to your husband and maybe he will see reason.
My DH also has full custody
My DH also has full custody of SD13. Their divorce/custody battle was pretty nasty. She manipulated DH's own father to support her, and she was still so certifiable that the court just saw right through it. DH and his mom kept notes.. tons of notes about how often she was with SD, how often she wasn't, observations of SD's condition after being in BM's care. She never changed a diaper. Would just let SD lay in her own pee & feces until someone else came along to do it.
So.. tell your DH that dad's DO get custody. Especially when there is proof that they have been mainly in his custody for the last 4-5 years, well taken care of, etc. If BM is only coming around every couple of months, he should have no problem getting full custody.