Will it hurt SO if I help gather information?
In mine and SO's relationship, we have an agreement that I can help gather information and have input but in the end, he makes the decisions regarding whether he wants to fight for custody, the amount of parenting time, etc. So far it's worked really well and he takes me into consideration before his decisions and I don't have to worry about him regretting the decisions he makes later or him feeling like he has to choose between me and his son.
I did have a quick question though... I am a research oriented person, always have been. Will it hurt him in court or otherwise if I help gather information for him? He often asks me to call places for him because he works 10+ hour days in the field and can't always have his phone on him or make calls even when he can have his phone. As long as I'm not making decisions for him or asking for information that he (and of course me as well) is not entitled to, can it come back and bite us that he did not call himself or do the online research himself?
If it's a matter of public
If it's a matter of public record, it shouldn't be a problem that you're the one doing the requesting.
If any of the places your requesting from ask you to send a letter of request have SO sign it.
I did all the legwork in getting information for DH in his custody case against BM. Turned out we didn't need it.
Well I dont think it will
Well I dont think it will come back to bite you, if you are being honest. Online research is open to everyone, if you can find it, well then more power to you. I got tons of information about BM and her husband online. I never put in false information into the computer or information that is not public knowledge.
If you are making calls for him on his behalf and tell the person who you are IF they ask, then fine. What do you think assistants do all day, I would never pretend Im BM or be dishonest to get information,
As long as you are honest with the person your talking to and letting them know you are calling on behalf of, I think it all good.
he is lucky you are their to help him. I found out so much about our BM that my DH would never even think of.
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with you doing the research. I have been doing the information gathering for DH for 15 years now. It has helped him prepare for several court appearances involving custody and child support.
I agree with all the ladies
I agree with all the ladies advice and comments... I think it probably only makes the BM's upset.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
Well think of it this way,
Well think of it this way, would it hurt SO if he hired a PI to do his research and investigations?? Nope. So think of yourself as a non-profit investigator:) You can find all sorts of things online. it's frightening how much you can find all the way down to how much your neighbors paid on their house, how much taxes they pay, how much land they own,and you can even see a scanned copy of their original deed. amazing isn't it?? I was home sick one time and played online researching an employee and found all sorts of stuff without even paying for it. just scary! And who will ever even know your SO wasn't the one who found the info??
Nope, I think it's great
Nope, I think it's great that you are willing to help.
Okay great thanks for all of
Okay great thanks for all of your support!!! I just wanted to make sure that it wouldn't looked reflect badly on him later. Everything I've done has been aboveboard and I always tell people who I call who I am if they ask me and have never pretended to be her to get information. I've gotten some good information online about BM and doing a little research has caught her in numerous lies although if anyone has any good sources of info for other research I'd love any advice!