Update on Mommy Dearest Rearing her Head
BM did reach out to her lawyer 2 months after she reached out to DH via email requesting his Notices of Assessment for the last 3 years and threatening to go after him for retroactive support.
Some context for those just tuning in:
DH and BM never married but were together for a number of years. Had two kids: my SD who just turned 17 and my SS who would have been 23 this summer - he passed away last January. When DH and BM separated 8 years ago, they worked with their lawyers to come to a separation agreement: SS would live with DH, SD would live with BM. Custody was joint. BM was (and still is) on disability (although she can certainly work - but that's a story for another time). DH took on ALL of the family debt, which was substantial considering his salary, signed the family van over to BM, left all of his possessions except for his clothes in the family home, and agreed to a measly sum (enough to pay his legal fees) for the house rather than sell it or have BM buy him out. Because of all of this, his CS for SD was reduced. The agreement was signed and filed with the court and approved. He pays CS directly to BM each month. Never missed a payment. Followed the agreement to the letter.
Fast forward 8 years later to present...
BM has fallen into some financial difficulty. She had previously been able to supplement her income with having roommates live with her and SD. BM is not the easiest person to live with (narcassist) cannot keep roommates. They all leave. And she hasn't been able to find anyone else who wants to move in with her and SD.
SD just turned 17, did not finish her last two years of school under BM's watch. Nor did BM encourage her to go. And with SD one year away from turning 18, BM is realizing that if SD doesn't go to school, BM will also be out of CS from DH. (For those thinking that DH should have taken custody of SD because of this, we did look into but becasue of SD's age, she would have had some say apparently? And she wouldn't be able to smoke weed at our place and she would have to go to school and there would be some structure at our place.
So BM's only option to get more money to supplement her income is to go after DH (because we all know that CS is not going towards SD especially now since she has a job).
Per the law here, the parent receiving CS, can request the paying parent to adjust CS at any time. BM is now doing that after 8 years. She sent an email to DH 2 months ago about this but also threatened with retroactive, but due to a number of issues related to her (she had been send DH harrassing texts on things that had nothing to do with SD or CS - she's a bully), DH did not respond to her.
Last week DH received an email from her lawyer. First, it was extremely unprofessional and her lawyer didn't have his facts straight (considering he was the same lawyer she used in the separation agreement 8 years ago) and he also made threats. We reached out to our lawyer who reviewed the email and found that the manner of the email was uncalled for. Our lawyer determined that DH will have to update his salary because of the request and in turn will have to increase CS payments. But BM thinking she can go after for retroactive payments? Our lawyer said no and so did her lawyer when our lawyer spoke to him. Having said that, due to SD's persistent absenteeism from school, DH is requesting that a new clause be added in the agreement stating an end date due to SD's education. That CS will be paid until SD graduates or turns 19, whichever comes first. Law here states that SD must be in school full time at the age of 18 (that is law here) if she is still living with BM.
DH just wants this all to end so that he never has to deal with BM again.