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No overnight visits in 1.5 years, skids disowned BM - Full custody?

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 5:06pm

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Family Court

My skids (SD14 and SS11) disowned their mother about a year and a half ago. They refuse to go with her overnight and have only seen her a handful of times since then. She lives about 800 miles away, refuses to pay court-ordered child support, and calls once every couple of weeks to speak to SS (who doesn't want to talk to her). There has been physical and major mental abuse against the kids and every one of BM's partners (including DH). The kids finally got tired of it and told us. Child protective service has investigated her twice and ordered her to anger management when SD was younger and last year they investigated and did nothing. Right now, the child custody order has DH as primary with BM coming every other weekend and all extended breaks and summer. This hasn't been followed for 2 years and no overnights for 1.5 years. For almost 2 years, they have been with us 24/7/365.

Can any of this be used to gain full custody? Will DH need to hire a lawyer and spend thousands?

MamaFox's picture

Submitted by MamaFox on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 5:23pm

In the state if Oklahoma, your s/kids would be old enough to choose who they want to live with and it wouldn't be an issue. I would check out your state laws regarding the age of consent when it comes to custody.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 8:05pm

Daddy can tell her he's applied to help through a District Attorney's program to collect past child support. Yes they will do that after all its a court order.

Then he tells her that if she signs over the kids into his permanent and complete custody he will, in writing, relinquish all past child support and not make future requests for any.

Her visitation is limited to daylight hours in public places where Daddy can be nearby - like the library, restaurant or police station

I.e. bribe her.

Ex4life's picture

Submitted by Ex4life on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 9:55pm

It is actually a misnomer that kids get to choose where they live at a certain age. In actuality, the get the opportunity to let the judge know where they want to live. The judge then decides where the child/ren live depending upon all of the evidence that is presented. The 14 year old would most likely meet the age to let her do that in most states. On the other hand the 11 year old most likely would not. Judges try, I think, to follow what the child asks for, but it doesn't always work out that way.