Modification of CS
DH and BM have joint custody with her having primary. In June she filed a motion that she was moving 98 miles from us to Tennessee for her work. She is making more than my DH now. In May his oldest son graduated high school, went to work full time, and moved in with his girlfriend. SS has no intentions of going to college at this time.
Legal age in Alabama is 19 and SS is 18 at this time.
We met with a lawyer, who suggested DH try negotiating with BM to lower the CS, which would save both of us money in legal fees. We tried this and she said to let the court decide so we filed a motion for modification of CS with recalculating income, mileage, and removing one child.
****The mileage part was included in the original Divorce/child support agreement and gives DH a deduction for each mile he drives to pick up the kids at the federal mileage rate. It also states that this can be recalculated at any point the mileage changes.****
SS was transferred in his job from Alabama to Tennessee where the BM moved and is temporarily staying in her home till he can find an apartment. He has told us he is moving out and that he had to pay the electric bill this month for staying there so she is not "supporting" him.
BM agreed to recalculating the mileage but not removing SS from the CS. Her lawyer has sent "Interrogatories" and a "Request for Production" wanting copies of all financial records such as credit card bills, bank statements, income tax forms, copies of our mortgage, etc. Also, asking questions about how many times the kids have seen my DH drunk and if he is seeing a doctor for mental issues among other things. I find these questions an invasion into our personal lives.
DH is a teetotaler and has never drank in his life - the witch was married to him 15 years - so why the question?
My question is - Is this normal? Does he have to turn over all this information to her?
He has NEVER missed a payment to the court system and pays on time every month since 2009 when they were divorced. This is the first time the support has been modified so not sure what we have to do.
Sorry so long but I do appreciate any input you can give me.
Once SS has his own apartment
Once SS has his own apartment with a lease, can that stop CS? That is proof that he is supporting himself and not being supported by BM.
This is pretty standard
This is pretty standard stuff. I would say that once SS turned 18 and moved apart from both your DH and BM and was not a full time college student that it is likely that DH can effectively make the case that he is no longer subject to owe CS for SS-18 even though in Alabama age of emancipation is 19.
BM's lawyer can push for all the information he wants even if he is targeting toxic crap. Your DH likely only has to provide income information. The rest I would estimate is an intimidation tactic.
In states that use an Income Shares CS model, most of them do, it really does not matter if the CP earns more money than the NCP... CS goes up for the NCP as the combined income of the CP and NCP increases even if that increase is entirely on the CP's side.
This is what we experienced in our case as my wife's income increased as the CP and BioDad's income remained stagnant as the NCP. His CS went up even as he spawned more out of wedlock children with more more baby mamas though his income did not increase significantly. My wife's income skyrocketed as she finished grad school and advanced her career as a CPA and SpermIdiot continued to work as voluntarily intermittently employed plumber. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a plumber).
Interestingly when we last requested a CS modification we had to provide piles of information (on the CP side) while BioDad had to provide very little on the NCP side. We had to provide my wife's income (CP), my income (Custodial Sparent), our joint tax returns, investment income and retirement accounts (401Ks, IRAs, Investment Accounts), checking and savings accound balances, day care costs, mortgage statements, utilities, etc.... while BioDad had only to provide his last two pay stubs and was supposed to provide his most recent tax returns but never provided the tax return.
I would dig in your heels (you and DH), get an attorney, and play hard ball with BM like she is trying to play with you. I would contest her move out of state if it is not too late, I would argue that SS-18 is emancipated since he is out of HS and did not immediately begin as a full time college student, and start to insinuate that BM moved out of state due to legal troubles..., etc.....
If the CP can play the game of dragging DHs name though the mud ""Interrogatories" and a "Request for Production" wanting copies of all financial records such as credit card bills, bank statements, income tax forms, copies of our mortgage, etc. Also, asking questions about how many times the kids have seen my DH drunk and if he is seeing a doctor for mental issues among other things." two can play that game. Make sure to ask BM to provide the names, information, and criminal histories on all of her out of wedlock lovers since the divorce. That should send some sparks flying. Compared to your tea totalling married DH that should be an interesting comparison that will get BM's panties all balled up.
In our case since BioDad did not produce comprehensive financial and tax records we presented his arrest records, his state plumbers license number and average income data for plumbers in his county, video evidence of his physically running away from a process server trying to serve him with the summonse to appear for the CS modivication hearing, evidence that he lived rent free in a home owned by SpermGrandHag and SpermGradPa, that his non joint three younger also out of wedlock spawn by two other baby mamas lived with SpermGrandHad during the school week and she provided day care serves free of charge, and that they paid all of his CS obligation for my SS and the next youngest SpermIdiot spawn, etc... We made a motion that SpermGrandHag and SpermGrandPa's income should be added to the SpermIdiots for CS calculations purposes since the the SpermGrandParents income went predominantly to support the SpermIdiot and his children.
That just about put all of them (SpermIdiot, SpermGrandHag, and SpermGrandPa) into a stroke but it as soooo much fun to watch their heads explode since they were trying to hide as much info as they could from the Administrative Law Judge who was hearing the CS mod case.
Have fun and make it all as painful as possible for BM since she is the one playing games.
Think of the cost of legal fees as part of your entertainment budget for the year.
Enjoy!!!!!!!
SS was transferred in his job
SS was transferred in his job from Alabama to Tennessee where the BM moved and is temporarily staying in her home till he can find an apartment. He has told us he is moving out and that he had to pay the electric bill this month for staying there so she is not "supporting" him. ---
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Really, what 18 year old fresh out of high school is 'transferred" with a job from one state to another.
What work does HE do?
I think there is more to this ---that you and dh are not privy to. JMO
Sounds like a hoodwinking to me.
BM got SS a job at the truck
BM got SS a job at the truck stop, yes I said truck stop, that she worked at here in Alabama. They decided to put him in the mechanical training program and he had to move to a bigger store, which just so happens to be the same one BM was transferred to in Tennessee.
I told DH that she pulled strings and had SS transferred so he would have to move back in with her. He moved out on May 15 with girlfriend and did not move back with BM until July 25, so he was out on his own for about 8-10 weeks.
The reason BM and DH got divorced was because he caught her cheating. She has never been much of a mother to the kids. They were left alone while she worked when the oldest was only 11 years old. They do not have any rules at her house and she is always promising them things and never following through. We wanted to try for custody but because the youngest one is now 13 our lawyer said if they wanted to stay with her we did not have a chance. What kid doesn't want to stay where they can do whatever the Sam hell they want to do?
DH asked his lawyer if he was going to request the same information from her and was told they would decide what to request when he goes to see him in a few weeks. I do not think the lawyer is being very proactive on our part. The letter we got in the mail from the lawyer had a copy of the Interrogatories and the other document, and all it said was to get answer the questions and provide the requested documents. WTF, he did not bother to call DH to discuss this or anything.
We are not trying to get out of support for the kids but we do want it to be calculated fairly and do not want to pay that witch for a child that is working making $13 an hour times 40 hrs a week. If he was going to college we would be glad to help him with that as well and we have encouraged him to go to school.
Something we found funny and weird was they requested any pictures, recordings, or video that DH has of the BM whether he intends to use it in court or not to be turned over to them. Again, WTF - he does not have anything like this except pictures taken at SS graduation in May.
I was divorced in TN and
I was divorced in TN and moved to AL...so my experiences may not be all THAT applicable, but as far as CS modification goes, I looked into due to some changes in my situation, and discovered that the cost of lawyers and court was going to far outweigh the decrease in CS I would have had to pay. If SS is already 18, then consider how much your time and stress are worth in exchange for at most 11 months worth of CS that would be remaining.
I totally understand not wanting to give the BM money that morally she shouldn't get...but if you won't come out ahead by much money anyway, is it really worth it?