Mediation hearing this week to get children back to original state...
My boyfriend has a mediation hearing this week to determine whether his two young daughters, 3 years and 18months, should be allowed to move back to their home state. About 3 months ago the BM took the children about 5 hours out of state to visit her family, my bf agreed to let her go for a few weeks to visit with her family and so the girls could see their family. The verbal agreement was that she was to return back to CA at the end of the summer but instead she told him that she thought it was better for the girls to live there (because most, not all, but her immediate family is there). My bf has to drive out there and stay in a hotel with his children twice a month on the weekends and then one other weekend she puts them in the car and drives them here.
The BM was smart and played the game right because she put them in daycare out there and activities to establish a "routine"" and then got a part time job so when my BF got an attorney the court said they could stay with their BM until mediation because that was their status quo and they didnt want to disrupt him. Now, the BM argues that she cant afford to live here and she has more support in AZ. These are the facts and im wondering what everyone's opinion is about how its all going to go...
BM was a SAHM but my bf took care of them every day and night when he got home from work (before they separated which was less than a year ago.
My BF lives in the house that his children have lived in since they were born and they both have their own rooms, with the BM they share a room and live with her family
The children have A LOT of family out here that they are extremely close with and that is on both sides of the family
They will be in daycare no more than what they already are
Right now they only see their dad 3 weekends a month and being so young it is really hard to build a stronger bond
Half the time they have to stay in a hotel when he visits, and that is not healthy for small children
My BF has offered the BM any means necessary to help her out here and find a place and has been giving her 1000 a month, not court ordered
The BM is also currently a little unstable and was diagnosed with depression and has been taking medicine, so obviously she wants to be with family for support and to help with the children but that isn't good for them and she cant live with family forever right?
I obviously think neither decision is a win-win because if they stay in another state they have a very strained relationship with their father and if they move back out here then it disrupts their routine, which will the court find more important?
Does anyone have any experience with spouses moving away or mediation??? Im wondering what they court will think is best for the children....any advice is great!
My BF got custody based on
My BF got custody based on his ex attempting to move the children out of state and away from family. In their situation, there was no family where she was planning to move. He got an emergency injunction preventing her from taking the children out of state when he learned of her plans. He hired a private investigator to follow her and had the sheriff arrest her when she was about to cross the state lines. His attorney told him that if she actually got out of the state with the children it would very difficult to get them back. What's the residency requirement for AZ? If she gets residency there it will be very difficult to force her to bring the kids back to CA.
I don't think mediation is the answer here. Is there a court order that sets forth visitation? If so, I'd have an attorney file an emergency hearing that she refuses to comply with it. Most CO's that I've seen have a clause that the other parent isn't allowed to move with the children out of state.
If your BF doesn't have an attorney he needs to get one asap to be advised of his options. And, don't agree to anything in mediation without knowing his options otherwise he's giving away his chances for a different arrangement.
Well, you could fight it out
Well, you could fight it out but you are right, BM was very smart. He allowed her to go willingly and waited to do anything about it while she set up a life for herself and the kids.
In my state, after 6 months, residency is established and the new state takes jurisdiction over the children. Once that happens, it is very unlikely they will want to change things again for the kids. The kids ages are another thing against you. They are indeed in the "tender years" and while judges are not supposed to be biased, most of them will not want to separate them from their mother while they are so young, ESPECIALLY if she was the primary caregiver, which as a SAHM, she can prove.
I would try to convince mom to move back or ask for very liberal visitation. Since the 4yo is only in preschool, you may be able to have them for months at a time. Then, you would take on a bulk of the parenting for two very young children. Are you up for that?