I don't know what to do.
I think I'm actually going to have a mental breakdown. I haven't been on this site for quite some time, and I remember getting some good advice, or at least support, when I was here years back. So here goes...
My husband has a 9 year old son who lives in a different state. The CS order was made in that state. We now have a 1 year old son as well. I am not working, as my income wasn't enough to cover the cost of daycare and work related expenses. My husband doesn't exactly make much money, either. We are making enough to keep a roof over our heads, lights on and basic necessities. But we are taking some state aid, to give you an idea of income level.
I found out this weekend that my husband now has an arrest warrant out for contempt of court in the state the order was made in. I knew he wasn't keeping up with his payments like he should, but I didn't know he was this far behind. There was a hearing a month ago, which he didn't know about because he doesn't open his mail like he should.
We literally have nothing right now. No way to pay the back support. No way to even fly him to the other state to appear in court. If he is jailed, my infant son and I will be on the street, literally. What am I supposed to do? How on earth am I supposed to keep moving forward?
Don't get me started on the irresponsible behavior of it all to begin with - believe me, I'm aware. He claims he is going to call the case worker tomorrow and find out where to go from here, and I'm just praying he follows through on that. I guess I just needed to get this out, to vent. I feel paralyzed.
Deep breaths. Get your ducks
Deep breaths. Get your ducks in a row, call your family to see if you and the baby can get home. You will need an exit plan if DH goes to jail.
Take care of you.
It is time to check in with
It is time to check in with family and begin looking for gainful employment. If you move in with somebody and you are in a serious financial bind, in this state we call you "doubled up" and you may qualify for additional benefits as "homeless." Check with the social services department for resources you might have available. Tell them your situation. Many local churches step up to support these situations, social services may be able to provide that guidance as well. Social services may be able to assist with child care options, as well.
First and foremost I agree
First and foremost I agree with exit strategy. Backup plans are always good, but my experience with similar matters getting arrested has always been written on documents, and never ONCE followed through. I don't know if it's different in other states or counties, but if that helps you breathe a little, then it's worth knowing. Since you guys are receiving aid, I would think would be exempted from CS, or at least put on a minimum, when my ex was odered CS, he left me high and dry for 6 months, with a mortgage, and full-time daycare for a 3 year old and infant... so the judge took as much as he could, but there is a law in NYS stating they can't take so much money that it puts non-custodial over the poverty line... seeing as you are already receiving government money I don't see how they could jusitfy forcing the bare-minimum in child support right now. I would contact legal aid and see if there's any way to argue this, find out exactly what he should be paying, and see if arrears can be adjusted accordingly.
More than likely they will
More than likely they will not extradite him to another state over CS. He needs to contact the child support enforcement agency in that state and start working out a plan with them to get back on track. He has probably been ignoring them for a while which is why they issued a warrant. He has to man up and do what's right. But until this is worked out, he needs to stay away from that state or he risks going to jail.
I know how it feels to be struggling to feed your own baby and watching money fly out the door for a child that you didn't create. But he is breaking the law by not paying and is a criminal and a deadbeat. If he has done it to one child, he will do it to yours. You're better off not getting pregnant again and looking for a way out.
What has he been doing with his money instead of paying child support? If he's not paying, he should have several hundred more than usual. You didn't notice?
When we met and started
When we met and started dating my bride was a single teen mom full time college student working 2 jobs and was on state assistance. She was on WIC, state health care for the kid, and subsidized day care that she paid $1/day for.
There is no shame in getting help. Programs exist to get people on their feet and moving forward in life.