The divorce decree did state that he had to provide cars for both of his daughters and pay 100% of associated car insurance/maintenance/repairs, which he does (and the decree does not specify until what age he has to pay). His son was not of legal driving age at the time of their divorce, so it was not addressed in the decree. She is demanding he pay 100% of all associated insurance/maintenance/repairs for their son as well. He is more than willing to pay half, but getting a bit sick and tired of her constant "poor me" / "I have no money" excuses. She has a good job, is paid CS and permanent alimony, dresses quite well, etc. I am sure she could adjust her monthly disposable income spend to pay half of her son's car insurance (about $100 would be her half), if she wanted to. Of course, she'll tell her son that FDH "won't pay" his car insurance and that he can't drive now... But that's a whole different story. Sigh. She irritates me to NO end.

I am not sure why their decree only addressed only his daughters and not his son. Perhaps because he was not of legal driving age? Same BM. He rarely ever argues with her over paying anything above and beyond CS. He rarely, if every, asks her to pay half of any non-CS expenses that come up (clothes, etc). But he still pays quite a bit of CS for just his son and a hefty permanent amount of alimony. She is gainfully employed and has been with the same company for quite some time. He has certainly let guilt guide much of his parenting/coparenting decisions over the years and is trying to set some boundaries with BM about things like this. She always dumps issues with money on him and he usually just pays to avoid confrontation with her. $200 per month for his son's insurance may not seem like a huge amount of money, but over the course of the next 3,4 or 5 years, it could amount to $10,000 and THAT is a lot of money. And that doesn't include other related car expenses. He certainly doesn't want to penalize his son, but it's time she step up to the plate and do her part as well, right?!? As his future wife, I'd like things like this to not be just "our" responsibility because she says so.

I totally agree with the kids contributing something towards their insurance! But, since the daughters don't, it would seem unfair to ask their son to pay something towards his?!? They set themselves up for that when they decided to spoil their children rotten. That is between FDH and BM. I completely agree with teaching their children financially responsiblity, but it's not really any of my business. His oldest daughter is 22. She hasn't graduated from college yet. I am hoping he would stop paying when/if she graduates?!? I have no clue. As the future wife (and EQUAL contributor to our finances), it would be nice to know how long we will be responsible for these payments. That is exactly why I said $200 per month may not be a huge amount, but over the course of years, it certainly adds up.

They were married almost 20 years and she was a stay-at-home Mom during much of that time. Also, he owns a business and alimony was used, in part, as a negotiating tool to prevent her from taking any ownership/share of his business as part of the settlement, which to him was worth more than the payment of alimony. She's fairly sane (at times anyway), attractive, etc. Her youngest graduates from HS next year. In all likelihood, she'll remarry at some point. She's been dating someone now for about 7 months, so fingers crossed he's 'the one', or second one!

He is supposedly looking for a job, but that will certainly go towards nothing more than gas, if that. My FDH will never deny his son the opportunity to drive given that his sisters both got cars, etc. I think they are ALL spoiled rotten, but who cares what I think. Furthermore, the BM would most definitely put the son squarely in the middle of this situation and tell him that she couldn't afford the expense, etc and that his father was unwilling to pay. She has no filter when it comes to her kids and matters that should be between the parents only. My FDH does not want to hurt his relationship with his son either.

It really bothers me that she always plays the pity card and rebounds all financial matters to us. Their decree is very vague about items outside of basic CS. But I guess that's a different issue.

We discussed this again tonight and he agrees that he will either ADD his portion of the car insurance to her monthly alimony or CS payment or simply pay his half directly to the insurance carrier and she can do the same. We defintely don't want to do anything in terms of modifying CS. I'm sure she will hit the roof when he says he will NOT pay 100% as she DEMANDED. I hope he doesn't cave to her, yet again.