California Support Calculation
We have 50/50 physical custody of my husband's kids. Our support agreement is about to come to an end. Our kids are 10 and eight, so a new agreement has to be reached.
My husband and his ex were married for eight years. He very generously offered to pay a substantial amount of money for 6 years instead of four in an effort to give his ex every opportunity to go to school, open a business, whatever she wanted to do. The idea was that she would have ample time to set up a life which would be to her and to the kids advantage. The figure that was decided on, was based on her having sole custody, even though it was joint physical custody.
Six years is up.
We are going to recalculate family support, moving forward. In the last six years his ex has not gone to school, not gotten a job, not opened a business, nothing. She has purchased a vacation home that she goes to alone, or with the latest boyfriend, and a lot of overseas yoga retreats. Beyond that, nothing.
We cannot get a clear answer on how the court determines family support.
Is it a different calculation if it is shared custody versus sole? Do they take both parents ability to contribute financially to the support of the children into account?
Do we need to buy our own Dissomaster to get a vague idea of what we MIGHT expect?
you can find
a lawyer in your area, set up a consult. it usually cost about 65 to 100 dollars for an hour.
dh and i are in CA and we did this recently. Make sure you know what bm makes, if she gets state asst, all the facts you can. they will be able to punch in the numbers and tell you what you will have to pay.
one concern though...is it documented that you actually have 50/50, or only that she has sole custody? if you go to court, be ready to prove that you have 50/50, or you will loose 50/50 and still pay through the nose for child support. In CA, according to our lawyer, if the judge gives the parents 50/50 it is close to impossible to change it, unless emergency circumstances. However, if the fater has at all been absent from the childrens life (or she can make it seem that way) the judge will rape the fater and give everything to bm.
was it documented that it was only 6 years? was it documented the stipulations as to why she was getting so much money? did she agree to go to school? etc... otherwise the judge might look at dh and say hes been paying and he can continue, just like when a couple divorces and the husband has allowed the wife to not work...the judge still expects him to support her, heaven for bid she support herself.
Thanks Nikki- Yes,
Thanks Nikki-
Yes, everything is absolutely documented in a legal document,with very high powered attorney, that it was for 6 years and it was 50/50 custody. But no there was no agreed to stipulation that she would use the money to set herself up for the post 6 years.
I have read that the California court calculates in who has custody and the ability of BOTH parents to contribute to the kids financial well being. That the days of one parent paying exorbitant support, while the other parent does nothing, and lives without any responsibility, are over. But I can't find anything definitive. The lawyers are vague about what support will be,
And no, she receives no state asst, just a couple of hundred grand a year in support from my husband.
To be clear, I was all for paying for longer than required, and probably more than was required, considering that we have 50/50 custody. Statistically, it's usually the BM who loses financially in a divorce. I thought she deserved every chance to make the best possible life for herself. Instead she has bought vacation homes, and done a lot of traveling and remodeling. Not to mention getting really angry that my husband won't continue paying alimony if she should remarry, LOL.
I think at this point we are nothing more than codependents, but I am afraid a judge will not see it that way. I was hoping that the joint custody, and her complete capability to generate income would change things once a court was involved.
a lawyer
will be able to tell you. if its a couple hundred grand a year...thats a shit load! excuse my language, but i have a feeling that if dh can afford to give her that much now the judge is going to say that dh has to still keep her and the kids in the lifestyle to which they have in both homes, and if hes paying that much already, i assume it will stay pretty high to allow bm to continue her current lifestyle.
according to our 2 lawyers that we talked to, including one who is the nastiest bull dog in all the county (other lawyers wont take cases against him) EVERYTHING is according to the dissomaster, or whatever its called. unless she gets a good lawyer who can get the judge to have dh pay for additional things....but im sure if you can afford a couple 100k a year you will have a good lawyer.
BUT if she didnt work while she was married to him, they will never expect her to work...and if hes paying over what he should, then they most likely will recalculate it according to his income and time with kids, and wont get any type of break for paying above and beyond before.
Try this On-Line CA CS calculator. It should give you a .....
idea of what to expect.
https://www.cse.ca.gov/ChildSupport/cse/guidelineCalculator
Of course there is history that the Judge will take in to account and with your DH voluntarily paying an elevated amount for 6yrs you may very well be screwed if the Judge refuses to consider verbal agreements or your DHs reasoning on the elevated payments that he has been making.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
Wow, so no good deed goes
Wow, so no good deed goes unpunished.
Sounds like we really screwed ourselves by trying to do right by her.
I thought that they took into account not only spouse's income, but how much each has custody. I would think that a BM would get a lot more if she had sole custody, that if it's 50%.
So basically we are paying for her to take vacations for 50% of her life. We're buying her vacation homes and remodeling costs, none of which has anything to do with the kids.
Spousal support should have been over 2 years ago, it's over this year because we were being stupidly nice.
I also thought that they
I also thought that they expected both parents to contribute to the children's financial well being, if they are both capable. She is only 41 years old.
So because she was married for 8 years, she doesn't have to do ANYTHING at all for the next ten years. Incredible.
I was really under the impression that California was trying to make things somewhat more equitable. Especially if there is joint custody.
I guess there is a lot to be said for marrying and divorcing for money.
The thing about it is that this is not the experience of most women. Most women get the financial shaft in divorce.
I completely believe that the kids should not experience a radical drop in life style because their parents can't hack it. But the idea that we are buying HER a lifestyle that has no impact on the kids galls me to no end.