Please tell me I'm not the only one. What do you do when you can't afford this and she keeps filing and filing and refiling and filing again. At wits end.
BM isn't necesarily wealthy, but she did something similar to us when DH's business was having tough times and she had custody. DH had been able to get CS reduced because of this but she took us back to court a few times to increase it. It did increase once. It was infuriating because she would not so much as get an entry level job at McDonalds (she has never once held a job).
BM's grandmother died last year, and she came into enough money to stir up trouble again. The time before that was when her (now husband) re-enlisted and got a bonus which was spent on SO in court.
We are still trying to recover from her mess from last summer. She doesn't work so she's never had the money of her own, hopefully after court in May she will be out of funds for a while well at least till the next person dies, and wills her some cash, or she talks her husband into a few more years of service to pay for her DRAMA.
BM is not wealthy, she has nothing of her own, but she is a spoiled brat. Her parents are older and have a decent amount of money apparently because they pay her attorney fees, and I know it hs to be close to 10,000 in this last year a lone. Now, she has married an idiot that has no clue what she is or what he has gotten into and he is supposed to make good money, so she will be sucking him dry for this next battle I am sure.
YES - and it didn't stop until we took her to court (and WON) a Contempt of Court for Willful Interference with Visitation.
She got a slap on the wrist...ordered to pay $500 fine (which she didn't. DH had to deduct it from medical bills she would send) and he didn't even get awarded any makeup visitation time! She didn't even have to pay our lawyer fees, which I totally think she should have had to.
All really great advice, thank you. Ours is definite bitter, high conflict shenanigans. Instead of filing for all the things she wants to change at once, she files every.single.little thing. Then gets sent to mediation. Then refuses to agree in mediation after the max allotted time. Then back to court. Rinse.Wash.Repeat. :/
We have lived on both sides of this fence. Or at least my DW has. DW was a 16yo single teen mom when she had SS-20. DickHead (the SpermIdiot)was 23yo. My DW and DipShit tried to do the family thing but his inability to quit perpetrating statutory rape on a series of underage girls ended that experiment and my DW booted his molesting ass out shortly after she finished HS.
The SpermIdiot nor the SpermClan had much interface with SS (then 1yo) after my DW kicked the SpermIdiot out. That is until she moved out of state for college and they learned that she was dating someone. At that point SpermGrandMa funded the full court legal press to get custody of SS from my DW for her idiot molester son. The SpermClan was attempting to intimidate and bankrupt my DW in to giving up custody of the kid.
Surprisingly to the SpermClan my DW took out a loan, got an attorney and started fighting them. However, they nearly did put her in to a state of destitution... until she and I married. At that point we instantly took the financial big stick advantage (by a slight margin) and once we were at financial parity with the SpermClan the war was on. We stopped their intimidation bullshit pretty quickly then over the next few years we took a significant and ever growing financial advantage over the entire SPermClan to the point that they could not hang with us financially.
I finished my MBA; my DW finished her BS, an MBA and became a CPA. All while the SpermIdiot proceeded to spawn three more out-of-wedlock children with two more baby mammas. He did manage to get his plumbers license and stay voluntarily intermittently and under employed while SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa paid his CS for my SS, raised his three younger spawn in their home and let him live rent free in their rental property. Not to mention funding his attorney for a nearly 18 year cycle of stupid legal actions.
Eventually we put them in a position of having no choice but to do what they were told when we told them to do it. That was truly a rewarding position to have over them. We tried for years to work with them but they were not capable of being reasonable. So, we learned to relish in kicking their collective ass in court, dictating what they would do, when they would do it, how they would do it. If they balked, we told them that we would see them in court. Some of my favorite moments where when SpermGrandMa would call for some reason, try to manipulate my DW only to have DW calmly lead SGM in to a state of blathering ranting at which point DW would tell her to call back when she could speak as a rational, mature adult. CLICK, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………. }:) }:) }:)
In our experience the financial stick is a significant advantage particularly in the hands of the CP side of the blended family battle ground. Though it can also be a significant advantage when held by the NCP side.
Most states have 2year timing between CS or CO modification motions barring a significant change in circumstances. If BM is filing more frequently than every 2 years then you may have the ability to nail her for your court costs to fight her. Look in to it.
Even when we had the financial advantage we nailed the SpermClan for court costs on multiple occassions when they filed nuisance motions over stupid, inane bullshit. The beauty of this is that every time they file any motion it resets the 2yr clock so it is not necessarily a bad thing if you can get an award of court costs to keep fighting them.
I'm new to this site, and just found this thread. We are going thru the same thing. BM has money her Father left her...quite a bit, and she could be set for life if she was careful with it, or got a job to supplement. But she's not that smart. She has NEVER worked, and so far has spent over $100K on lawyers. She proudly announced to us one day she talks to her lawyer DAILY !! I'm sure at $250 an hour he gladly takes her calls too ! Between my SO and myself we are in court with BM about every 8 weeks. I spent a year in court with her getting a Harassment Order on her, and she almost immediatley broke it...TWICE. She decided she wanted to go to mediation with SO, and after a WEEK of mediation told SO's sister she had no intention of ever mediating she just wanted to wear him down. We are now on year 2 of court date after court date......the judge tells BM not to do something, and BM does it anyway. SO did the math and pointed out that what BM has spent just in legal fees, is more than she would ever get in child support for SS8 even if he paid child support thru college !!! She is just wasting money, and depriving her child.
I have been experiencing the affects of legal bill after legal bill.
My DH & I have been together for 3 years. He has 2 girls, 9 & 12 & I have a son 18. The BM is rich, as well as her family and her now husband. They live on a well to do street in our city and their combined income is estimated at $450,000 or more. I say estimated as she will not give us all of her financial information.
Over the last 2 years we have been fighting her for my DH's fair share of time with my 2 SD's. It all started when the BM told my DH he did not have 50% custody of the girls and when she returns from traveling for work or pleasure he is to give up his time with them so she didn't miss out on her time. Well, I had had enough & made my DH grow some balls when dealing with her.
It came down to the point where we followed the divorce agreement and went through mediation, totally useless, then went back & forth between lawyers to try to resolve a schedule. Dead end. Step 2, arbitration. During the abritation process the assigned lawyer asked myself & DH what our salaries where as well as BM & her now husband. He noticed a HUGE difference within the households and when delivering his final arbitration order, wrote in a sly hint that "although he is not there to touch on child support issues". It took a few reads to see what he was imlpying,so we took it to our lawyer & she said we had every right to go for child support.
We then requested BM to disclose her income (we are unable to go after her husbands salary and they are not allowed to include mine)she came back at us with how the children are acting out & that a home evaluation should be done in our home & the children should get councelling, but completely ignored our request for finacial disclousure completly. Our response, "sure we'll get the kids into councelling, please provide us your health care info, we agree to home inspection if one is done for her home as well, and again we asked for finacial disclousure. She never opened her mouth again.
That was October, in December we changed lawyers & asked for it again. At that time we provided my DH's tax returns for 3 years as well as any freelance jobs he had done with a detailed client list, invoices as well as award money he received over the last 3 years. She blew a gasket!
We made her an offer to pay from Oct 2012 (when we first asked for her info)to date with a change in the child expenses according to each income. She refused, said she should not have to pay back pay, nor should the expenses change from 50/50. BUT...... at this time we did get her income out of her. She makes $140,000 & my DH makes $78,000. Big difference. She clothes these kids in all name brand (even uderwear), takes them on a warm vacation the last 3 years, as well as trips around Canada. We shop secnd hand, buy meat deals, or any other deals we can find just to save money to pay the bills, eat & pay legal fees.
Well, the time has now come for DH & BM to go to case conference on May 8th. As it stands she is into us for almost $17,000 as well as court costs, court fines since she still has not given the courts all the financial disclouser required and may have to pay our legal fees. So once it is all said & done, she may be cutting us a cheque for $30,000.
So it just goes to show you, stand tall, stand your ground & justice will be served. It's karma baby & I love it!!!
PS: Sorry for the rant, but that felt so goood to write.
Just curious... what is she
Just curious... what is she filing about?
BM isn't necesarily wealthy,
BM isn't necesarily wealthy, but she did something similar to us when DH's business was having tough times and she had custody. DH had been able to get CS reduced because of this but she took us back to court a few times to increase it. It did increase once. It was infuriating because she would not so much as get an entry level job at McDonalds (she has never once held a job).
BM's grandmother died last
BM's grandmother died last year, and she came into enough money to stir up trouble again. The time before that was when her (now husband) re-enlisted and got a bonus which was spent on SO in court.
We are still trying to recover from her mess from last summer. She doesn't work so she's never had the money of her own, hopefully after court in May she will be out of funds for a while well at least till the next person dies, and wills her some cash, or she talks her husband into a few more years of service to pay for her DRAMA.
BM is not wealthy, she has
BM is not wealthy, she has nothing of her own, but she is a spoiled brat. Her parents are older and have a decent amount of money apparently because they pay her attorney fees, and I know it hs to be close to 10,000 in this last year a lone. Now, she has married an idiot that has no clue what she is or what he has gotten into and he is supposed to make good money, so she will be sucking him dry for this next battle I am sure.
Every time she files a motion
Every time she files a motion I would counter sue and ask for her to pay your legal fees.
Compile the entire history of motions she's filed and file a motion asking for sanctions and costs for abuse of process, frivolous filings etc.
Show step by step how the actions have been frivolous and thrown out. Make sure the judge see the entire picture.
At a minimum it will put the court on notice.
http://www.worldlawdirect.com/forum/child-custody-support/34871-how-do-i...
YES - and it didn't stop
YES - and it didn't stop until we took her to court (and WON) a Contempt of Court for Willful Interference with Visitation.
She got a slap on the wrist...ordered to pay $500 fine (which she didn't. DH had to deduct it from medical bills she would send) and he didn't even get awarded any makeup visitation time! She didn't even have to pay our lawyer fees, which I totally think she should have had to.
Oh - SHE wasn't rich but her FAMILY is.
All really great advice,
All really great advice, thank you. Ours is definite bitter, high conflict shenanigans. Instead of filing for all the things she wants to change at once, she files every.single.little thing. Then gets sent to mediation. Then refuses to agree in mediation after the max allotted time. Then back to court. Rinse.Wash.Repeat. :/
We have lived on both sides
We have lived on both sides of this fence. Or at least my DW has. DW was a 16yo single teen mom when she had SS-20. DickHead (the SpermIdiot)was 23yo. My DW and DipShit tried to do the family thing but his inability to quit perpetrating statutory rape on a series of underage girls ended that experiment and my DW booted his molesting ass out shortly after she finished HS.
The SpermIdiot nor the SpermClan had much interface with SS (then 1yo) after my DW kicked the SpermIdiot out. That is until she moved out of state for college and they learned that she was dating someone. At that point SpermGrandMa funded the full court legal press to get custody of SS from my DW for her idiot molester son. The SpermClan was attempting to intimidate and bankrupt my DW in to giving up custody of the kid.
Surprisingly to the SpermClan my DW took out a loan, got an attorney and started fighting them. However, they nearly did put her in to a state of destitution... until she and I married. At that point we instantly took the financial big stick advantage (by a slight margin) and once we were at financial parity with the SpermClan the war was on. We stopped their intimidation bullshit pretty quickly then over the next few years we took a significant and ever growing financial advantage over the entire SPermClan to the point that they could not hang with us financially.
I finished my MBA; my DW finished her BS, an MBA and became a CPA. All while the SpermIdiot proceeded to spawn three more out-of-wedlock children with two more baby mammas. He did manage to get his plumbers license and stay voluntarily intermittently and under employed while SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa paid his CS for my SS, raised his three younger spawn in their home and let him live rent free in their rental property. Not to mention funding his attorney for a nearly 18 year cycle of stupid legal actions.
Eventually we put them in a position of having no choice but to do what they were told when we told them to do it. That was truly a rewarding position to have over them. We tried for years to work with them but they were not capable of being reasonable. So, we learned to relish in kicking their collective ass in court, dictating what they would do, when they would do it, how they would do it. If they balked, we told them that we would see them in court. Some of my favorite moments where when SpermGrandMa would call for some reason, try to manipulate my DW only to have DW calmly lead SGM in to a state of blathering ranting at which point DW would tell her to call back when she could speak as a rational, mature adult. CLICK, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………. }:) }:) }:)
In our experience the financial stick is a significant advantage particularly in the hands of the CP side of the blended family battle ground. Though it can also be a significant advantage when held by the NCP side.
Most states have 2year timing between CS or CO modification motions barring a significant change in circumstances. If BM is filing more frequently than every 2 years then you may have the ability to nail her for your court costs to fight her. Look in to it.
Even when we had the financial advantage we nailed the SpermClan for court costs on multiple occassions when they filed nuisance motions over stupid, inane bullshit. The beauty of this is that every time they file any motion it resets the 2yr clock so it is not necessarily a bad thing if you can get an award of court costs to keep fighting them.
I'm new to this site, and
I'm new to this site, and just found this thread. We are going thru the same thing. BM has money her Father left her...quite a bit, and she could be set for life if she was careful with it, or got a job to supplement. But she's not that smart. She has NEVER worked, and so far has spent over $100K on lawyers. She proudly announced to us one day she talks to her lawyer DAILY !! I'm sure at $250 an hour he gladly takes her calls too ! Between my SO and myself we are in court with BM about every 8 weeks. I spent a year in court with her getting a Harassment Order on her, and she almost immediatley broke it...TWICE. She decided she wanted to go to mediation with SO, and after a WEEK of mediation told SO's sister she had no intention of ever mediating she just wanted to wear him down. We are now on year 2 of court date after court date......the judge tells BM not to do something, and BM does it anyway. SO did the math and pointed out that what BM has spent just in legal fees, is more than she would ever get in child support for SS8 even if he paid child support thru college !!! She is just wasting money, and depriving her child.
I have been experiencing the
I have been experiencing the affects of legal bill after legal bill.
My DH & I have been together for 3 years. He has 2 girls, 9 & 12 & I have a son 18. The BM is rich, as well as her family and her now husband. They live on a well to do street in our city and their combined income is estimated at $450,000 or more. I say estimated as she will not give us all of her financial information.
Over the last 2 years we have been fighting her for my DH's fair share of time with my 2 SD's. It all started when the BM told my DH he did not have 50% custody of the girls and when she returns from traveling for work or pleasure he is to give up his time with them so she didn't miss out on her time. Well, I had had enough & made my DH grow some balls when dealing with her.
It came down to the point where we followed the divorce agreement and went through mediation, totally useless, then went back & forth between lawyers to try to resolve a schedule. Dead end. Step 2, arbitration. During the abritation process the assigned lawyer asked myself & DH what our salaries where as well as BM & her now husband. He noticed a HUGE difference within the households and when delivering his final arbitration order, wrote in a sly hint that "although he is not there to touch on child support issues". It took a few reads to see what he was imlpying,so we took it to our lawyer & she said we had every right to go for child support.
We then requested BM to disclose her income (we are unable to go after her husbands salary and they are not allowed to include mine)she came back at us with how the children are acting out & that a home evaluation should be done in our home & the children should get councelling, but completely ignored our request for finacial disclousure completly. Our response, "sure we'll get the kids into councelling, please provide us your health care info, we agree to home inspection if one is done for her home as well, and again we asked for finacial disclousure. She never opened her mouth again.
That was October, in December we changed lawyers & asked for it again. At that time we provided my DH's tax returns for 3 years as well as any freelance jobs he had done with a detailed client list, invoices as well as award money he received over the last 3 years. She blew a gasket!
We made her an offer to pay from Oct 2012 (when we first asked for her info)to date with a change in the child expenses according to each income. She refused, said she should not have to pay back pay, nor should the expenses change from 50/50. BUT...... at this time we did get her income out of her. She makes $140,000 & my DH makes $78,000. Big difference. She clothes these kids in all name brand (even uderwear), takes them on a warm vacation the last 3 years, as well as trips around Canada. We shop secnd hand, buy meat deals, or any other deals we can find just to save money to pay the bills, eat & pay legal fees.
Well, the time has now come for DH & BM to go to case conference on May 8th. As it stands she is into us for almost $17,000 as well as court costs, court fines since she still has not given the courts all the financial disclouser required and may have to pay our legal fees. So once it is all said & done, she may be cutting us a cheque for $30,000.
So it just goes to show you, stand tall, stand your ground & justice will be served. It's karma baby & I love it!!!
PS: Sorry for the rant, but that felt so goood to write.