Would you vote for a President who vowed to help fix the child support and custody issues?
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I know it seems silly, but I think if I heard a politician say he wants to look into the injustices made by the child support enforcement agencies my ears would perk up on that one! Of course I would have to hear more as to whether I would vote for this person, but I have to admit it would get my attention. What about you?
I love it! You have made so
I love it! You have made so many good points here! There has to be some country somewhere that has had better results than the US. With all of the intelligent people in the world somebody out there knows how to fix this. You know with this government shutdown I have heard food stamp cards are not working. Out of curiosity I went on the child support bureau's site and saw the big statement that the government shutdown will not stop support payments..... Why would they think one is more important than the other. Don't get me wrong I think parent need to be financially responsible for their children until at least 18. In my case I was secretly hoping the shutdown would hold up the payments to BM's card for awhile. }:) All the crap she pulls on us...
That would certainly get my
That would certainly get my attention, too! It would be nice if someone could do something about that. I was talking to my sister about child support the other day - she had no idea that it's completely legal for a parent to use CS to buy a $2000 purse or expensive clothes or use the money to go on vacation while the kid is walking around in rags, not being fed regularly, neglected, etc. That just seems so unfair to me.
Also, it would be nice if someone 'in charge' would catch on to the fact that some people keep job hopping to avoid child support. At this point, the court order saying BM must hand over a copy of all pay stubs as soon as she gets them is just a joke - It's not like she'll ever see a contempt charge, she hasn't yet. And by the time the next court date rolls around, guess who will suddenly be unemployed again?
So yes, any politician that wants to even attempt to make the CS system suck a little bit less would probably get my vote at this point.
When I talk to people that
When I talk to people that have not had to deal with CS they are always blown away by how it works. They are always assuming NCPs are dead beats trying to get out of paying support. They never say anything about how a CP gets a power trip from getting money for an X. PAS well that is only known about by people with crazy CPs. It is not something like say ADHD, but I bet there is just as much PAS as ADHD.
That's true, I know plenty of
That's true, I know plenty of NCP's that are great, definitely not dead-beats. I know a few that are dead-beats too. Not every situation is the same! And you are absolutely right about PAS - I'd never even heard of that until I found this site.
I've got one BM who works
I've got one BM who works full time and tries to do her best for her two kids. Full respect for her and we try to help out above child support whenever we can because we know she doesn't get as much for just the one child. Then there's the other BM who works part time, sits on welfare, and blows her CS money on herself. And then sends her 10 year old SON over wearing his 11 year old SISTER's hand-me-down shoes, that are too small for him and clothes that are way too big for him. She takes her child support money and gets tattoos or gets her hair done or whatever she wants for herself. Complete crap. I think the child support should be able to be alternatively given by showing receipts that show actual support provided for the child. Instead of giving the BM XX amount of dollars a month, we should get to spend XX amount of dollars per month providing for the child personally, and prove that the money actually went to the child instead of a greedy, selfish BM.
I have a real problem with
I have a real problem with this myself. BM tried to take us back for more support meanwhile she just bought a new car and had enough money not to trade in the old one. 6 vehicles for 3 drivers, but she feels the need to try for more money because she doesn't work and the money comes from her husband we can not do anything about it. Meanwhile SD has a job and buys her own clothes, gas, car insurance, phone and pays for any activities she want to do on her own. IF the CS system wants to keep things financially the same as if the split never happened, then they should take into consideration other contributors to the child's welfare. I know I do not spend 200 per week on my DD. All that crap about providing shelter, food, and activities. BM has to have this home for her other 4 children.
Yes I would. I think things
Yes I would.
I think things need to be handled on a case by case basis. Too often the kids are allowed to go with bm even though Dad clearly is the better parent.
Cs- this to me is not so clear in many ways. I do think NCPs should pay cs, but too often, ncp BMs have to pay a paltry sum in comparison to what ncp dads pay. It does help tremendously when used on the kids. My dh had to pay $1600 a month for two kids. Now that he's cp of sd16 (and was of sd18), bm has to pay $200 a month. She is very capable of working but chooses not to. I know our government cannot force someone to work if they just don't want to, but maybe more people/BMs would if they knew they'd have to pay more in cs to help support their kids.
What also gets me is the women who have kids with different men to rake in cs. They rely on cs instead of getting a job, even if it's working at McDonald's. Men with many baby mamas get to me, too as they're the ones who make things harder for good dads trying to do right by their kids.
I love Patsy Cline btw. I fall to pieces each time I hear her voice
YES ANON! I hear you loud
YES ANON! I hear you loud and clear and I am right in line with your thinking. LOL btw I love Patsy Cline too! I often go out walkin' after midnight because the crazy BM drove me to it!
I especially agree with your
I especially agree with your first paragraph. Mom worked and family pitched in back in the '50s and '60s if dad wasn't in the picture. Family dealt with their own problems without government meddling.
Definitely! When the men went
Definitely! When the men went to war women went to work. You did what you had to do for your family. It seems it played out that way until about the 90's. Hey wasn't it around the 90's when all this Child Support was addressed by the states and all these changes started happening? I'm serious about that I know that is about the time my state adopted the guidelines.
"Remove the money trail...and
"Remove the money trail...and so much would be different. More non-custodian's would be with their kids without interference. I would bet everything I have on that one." I would bet the same. The courts thinking they can get along and be amicable! HELLO!!! IF THEY COULD GET ALONG MOST LIKELY THEY WOULD NOT BE DIVORCED! The CS enforcement has fostered a belief that CP's can let there kids do what they want and CP's don't have to follow rules. There aren't any real consequences to a CP for obstructing parenting time! The courts all say there is, but rarely do you see a judge put a BM in jail, but they will sure as heck put a BF in jail for not paying support. Divorce rates go up and juvenile crime goes up....imagine that! Of course it does. After a child has been trained to think this way for so long They are not going to change just because they turn 18! I know there are CP who follow the rules, but it is not because they are afraid of what will happen to them if they don't. It is because they love their children and choose to not interfere with their child's relationship with the other parent. But see I use the word choose because that is how it really is. A NCP can not "choose" not to pay support they go to jail.
taushalove - you make some
taushalove - you make some very good points. I have to wonder, now that single moms are used to getting child support, how they would act if they no longer got the money. Would they really be more willing to let the kids see their dad? Or would they have the 'you're not paying for them, you don't get to see them' attitude. And of course, I am not trying to say ALL single moms are the same and ALL of them would be like this - I know better than that - but I can say with a great deal of certainty that DH's ex would have acted that way.
I think you would see that a
I think you would see that a lot, actually, I agree. It's ridiculous. Of course, I know a divorced mom who rarely has ever gotten child support for her now 16yo son, but never once kept her son from seeing his father, but unfortunately not all people are like that. Of course, dad never got in trouble for not paying either.
It would get my attention,
It would get my attention, but like so many other politicians "vowing" to change or fix other parts of this broken system .. I doubt little would come of it.