Wise people here - No LUCK
I had posted the other day that we tried a Family meeting for the first time since my SD13 has moved in with us FT. I expected more and got nothing in return; you were 100% right. Dad did see a bit of what I was talking about; like when she would say to me ALL the time...."Dad already said yes so..."
He wasn't amused w/ her behavior and told her never to do that to me again.
Her ONLY chore is to maybe do 2 loads of laundery every other day or so; she cried about that so now she doesn't have to do that anymore; I don't ask her to babysit her 4 yr old bro - for 1 he cries if he has to stay w/ her and for 2 she is too busy doing other things that I can't trust her. she hardly touches her room... So now she is back to doing NOTHING! She won that one...
So I have my BD11 doing dishes, vacuuming, and I have showed her how to start laundry; and she will keep on eye - "play" with her bro while I clean or whatever..... It is absolutely amazing to me that BD can get away w/ this sh*.
My fam and friends have noticed a change in me; I am quiet, sad, and tired all the time. I never used to be like this... Dad thinks just because we had a talk everything is great.....god is he blind
what do I do next?? I also need some ideas of what to do w/ BD to show SD that when you do things you GET things - obvious things; that's how mad I am - besides just $$$
I agree with the above. Stop
I agree with the above. Stop doing absolutely anything for her. She is playing your DH and getting what she wants.
My BS is not a problem, but this week I had been after him to clean out his closet. He didn't want to. So while he was at school I instructed DH to take the chip out of his Satellite dish. He made the comment that I couldn't really do anything to him. Well this had a great affect. He cleaned his closet and gave me two bags of clothes for goodwill in two hours... That one stunt actually made him move quickly. We had been battling for a month on this...
You need to do something drastic here. Make her life a little more difficult.
I agree with ALL of you; and
I agree with ALL of you; and I wouldn't HESITATE to do any of that stuff with MY own.... But dad is defensive and would call me an a complete B* if I would dare do this to HER. I am all about lesson, checking up on them, taking TV's out and unplugging things; all of which I have done without dad saying anything; but this is the problem - HER......... I am at the end of my rope
If I put HER food down on a paper plate; OMG shit would hit the fan
oK, since you asked for
oK, since you asked for things you can reward BD for.... I might have some ideas. I have a SD11 and at BM's she has a stepsister that is 13 - so I know what girls these ages want. My SD and her stepsis are fiercly competitive and always trying to one-up eachother with their "stuff". I have no idea what your financial situation is either, but.... My SD goes WILD for Uggs. Yes, she wants the brand name - not a look-a-like. Pretty much every girl at school has them and her stepsister at her mom's has several pairs (thanks to her grandma). My SD will pretty much sell her soul for a pair of Uggs so THAT is a great reward. Do either your BD or SD have a cell phone? If so... maybe BD earns an "upgrade" for a new phone? Do they have a DSI? How about a new game? Or going shopping for a new shirt or pair of jeans? Do they have friends over on weekends with any limitations? Maybe BD gets to have two friends over or friends over both Friday/Saturday night and not just one night, etc.. ? Or when BD has friends over she has "earned" something fun to do - like a new dvd or bowling or goingto the movies? Does BD have an ipod? maybe she can earn iTune $$ too.
Great ideas; I hate to do
Great ideas; I hate to do that but I need my SD to see that you only get rewards by pitching in; not being a whiny slacker - that's not the REAL world. THANKS!!