Thoughts on exchanges with bad weather? What if you have to drive hours away? Do you always 100% abide by the court order even if it is unsafe? Thoughts!
The kids Live with us. She gets visitation. We have always gone to get the kids when they are supposed to return. She has used the weather as an excuse to not come get them. Which we are fine with.
IMO children's safety should always come first...even if that means waiving parenting time for visitations.
The round trip for GS is about 2hrs and it's straight down the interstate until coming to the city limits. Ex-DIL and DS are very flexible. As both myself and either my elderly mother or my sister are sometimes part of exchanges a simple call to ex-DIL is all it takes. Between actually snowing and then blowing/drifting snow and sometimes fog (not to mention ice ice ice everywhere) ex_DIL and DS work well together in the winter months. DS will sometimes insist on paying for the sitter if BM had plans for in-town and her gym (the neighbor lady next to ex-DIL does this on these type of days). A few times I've taken GS back on Monday after plows have been at work and end up dropping him at school instead of taking him Sunday evening. There have been a few times where it's several days.
If GS is here in my area with his father, I or Mother babysit while DS works and on ex-DIL's part she does not work so she has no need for a work week sitter (unless asking the neighbor lady for something like lunch with her GFs). I have a couple times went on ahead of a winter storm to where GS lives and checked in to hotel and do GS/Gma time in cases where ex-DIl is traveling and out of state or country. We all just work together and which ever one of us is free to do so fills in.
I would not have ever wanted my husband to risk his life or an accident in bad weather to see SD (who herself cancelled visitations at her every whim).
That being said, I only remember one time that we made a change due to weather. We knew a storm was coming, and in fact it had already started snowing, so we took her home a few hours early. It just seemed the smart thing to do.
what about from the stand point of the custodial parent... would you deny visitation based on not wanting to drive over an hour one way to exchange the kids? It would be technically breaking the court order... but is that violation worth it?
It would be worth a discussion between the parents.
If weather is really bad, I can't imagine either parent wanting to put anybody's safety at risk. Not to mention, an hour one way can turn into a four hour round trip in bad weather.
Yes, to me, that violation would be worth it but again, I would hope the non custodial parent would be reasonable and be willing to use some common sense. People die being out on the road in this weather. Is that risk worth it?
lol of only reason was a part of this conversation I'm just glad to know someone else thinks it is reasonable to not have visitation if it is dangerous traveling. Thank you
And if you are talking about this ice storm that is going through, ice is soooo dangerous and there have been several deaths already. I would not do that drive, if it were me. An hour one way? Nope.
We have SD full time. DH and BM normally meet halfway to exchange skid (BM lives 1.5 hour away). If the weather was bad and BM wanted to come pick skid up, that's on her. But I am not having my DH go out and risk his life to drop skid off.
I wouldn't if it is not safe. If you are asking as the CP, I would say that you would probably need to offer a makeup time that works for you, NCP, and the child's schedules. That way it can't be misinterpreted as custodial interference. It will cover you if it were to ever to come up later. It also might help diffuse any conflict with the NCP over canceling the visitation. I refuse to take BS3 anywhere during bad weather. His safety is number 1 in my book.
BM lives about 2.5/3 hours away. DH drives ~1.5 hours to the meeting spot. It is in an area where the winter weather gets REALLY bad, so it's in the court order that if either parent feels uncomfortable driving the weekend will be made up the next weekend.
I think there were like 2 or 3 weekends last year SD didn't come because of weather. DH never had her make them up though (by doing 2 weekends in a row). One weekend was the weekend before SD's bday weekend. SD's bday weekend was supposed to be BMs. She made no plans at all, but told DH "WELL I am NOT bringing her to you for her birthday weekend!". DH ended up driving up there.
Won't happen this weekend. Follow the CO to the T.
The kids Live with us. She
The kids Live with us. She gets visitation. We have always gone to get the kids when they are supposed to return. She has used the weather as an excuse to not come get them. Which we are fine with.
She lives an hour away.
IMO children's safety should
IMO children's safety should always come first...even if that means waiving parenting time for visitations.
The round trip for GS is about 2hrs and it's straight down the interstate until coming to the city limits. Ex-DIL and DS are very flexible. As both myself and either my elderly mother or my sister are sometimes part of exchanges a simple call to ex-DIL is all it takes. Between actually snowing and then blowing/drifting snow and sometimes fog (not to mention ice ice ice everywhere) ex_DIL and DS work well together in the winter months. DS will sometimes insist on paying for the sitter if BM had plans for in-town and her gym (the neighbor lady next to ex-DIL does this on these type of days). A few times I've taken GS back on Monday after plows have been at work and end up dropping him at school instead of taking him Sunday evening. There have been a few times where it's several days.
If GS is here in my area with his father, I or Mother babysit while DS works and on ex-DIL's part she does not work so she has no need for a work week sitter (unless asking the neighbor lady for something like lunch with her GFs). I have a couple times went on ahead of a winter storm to where GS lives and checked in to hotel and do GS/Gma time in cases where ex-DIl is traveling and out of state or country. We all just work together and which ever one of us is free to do so fills in.
For us it's always safety first.
I would not have ever wanted
I would not have ever wanted my husband to risk his life or an accident in bad weather to see SD (who herself cancelled visitations at her every whim).
That being said, I only remember one time that we made a change due to weather. We knew a storm was coming, and in fact it had already started snowing, so we took her home a few hours early. It just seemed the smart thing to do.
what about from the stand
what about from the stand point of the custodial parent... would you deny visitation based on not wanting to drive over an hour one way to exchange the kids? It would be technically breaking the court order... but is that violation worth it?
It would be worth a
It would be worth a discussion between the parents.
If weather is really bad, I can't imagine either parent wanting to put anybody's safety at risk. Not to mention, an hour one way can turn into a four hour round trip in bad weather.
Yes, to me, that violation would be worth it but again, I would hope the non custodial parent would be reasonable and be willing to use some common sense. People die being out on the road in this weather. Is that risk worth it?
lol of only reason was a part
lol of only reason was a part of this conversation
I'm just glad to know someone else thinks it is reasonable to not have visitation if it is dangerous traveling. Thank you
And if you are talking about
And if you are talking about this ice storm that is going through, ice is soooo dangerous and there have been several deaths already. I would not do that drive, if it were me. An hour one way? Nope.
We have SD full time. DH and
We have SD full time. DH and BM normally meet halfway to exchange skid (BM lives 1.5 hour away). If the weather was bad and BM wanted to come pick skid up, that's on her. But I am not having my DH go out and risk his life to drop skid off.
I wouldn't if it is not safe.
I wouldn't if it is not safe. If you are asking as the CP, I would say that you would probably need to offer a makeup time that works for you, NCP, and the child's schedules. That way it can't be misinterpreted as custodial interference. It will cover you if it were to ever to come up later. It also might help diffuse any conflict with the NCP over canceling the visitation. I refuse to take BS3 anywhere during bad weather. His safety is number 1 in my book.
BM lives about 2.5/3 hours
BM lives about 2.5/3 hours away. DH drives ~1.5 hours to the meeting spot. It is in an area where the winter weather gets REALLY bad, so it's in the court order that if either parent feels uncomfortable driving the weekend will be made up the next weekend.
I think there were like 2 or 3 weekends last year SD didn't come because of weather. DH never had her make them up though (by doing 2 weekends in a row). One weekend was the weekend before SD's bday weekend. SD's bday weekend was supposed to be BMs. She made no plans at all, but told DH "WELL I am NOT bringing her to you for her birthday weekend!". DH ended up driving up there.
Won't happen this weekend. Follow the CO to the T.