Why is leaving so hard to do?
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I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT! I never have hated a soul in my life and now......I HATE SD10, SS14, SS19, SD21, SS24, SS26 and......DH because he allows it and now he is just as bad as all of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE EM I HATE EM I HATE EM!!!!!!!!! I AM A GOOD PERSON! WHY ME???????????? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS???????? They are the most hateful, awful, rude, heartless people I have ever known in all my life! I can't take it anymore...............to the point of......I don't want my life anymore! Please help!
justthegf, what caused this
justthegf, what caused this WAS the last incident. There are soooo many incidents I can't even keep track anymore. They all have my mind in a windstorm. The last incident, I SWORE after him throwing "MY KIDS" in my face 500 billion times, I would never ever do anything for them again. Well, EVERY TIME I FEEL BAD FOR THE KIDS AND BREAK MY RULE TO NOT DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, he bites me in the ass. It was snowing 3 days ago, really bad, DH text me asking to pick up his kids, cause the can't walk .9 of a mile home, well, I felt bad anyhow, I had them in my truck and I didn't "RELY" fast enough so he took it as a no. He text back saying, "I knew you wouldn't" OMG! I HAD THEM IN THE TRUCK ALMOST HOME and he is treating me like I am some horrible piece of crap that will make SD10 and SS14 walk in the slushy wet snow.Again, I HAD EM IN THE TRUCK ALREADY! It snowballed from there. Didn't get a thank you from the kids OR him. What I got was some psycho crap pooring out of his mouth saying, "I never said that"! Thank god it was in a text. Well, when I showed it to him, I got, "that's not what I ment" and I am always getting, "this isn't worth a fight over" DON'T DOWN PLAY MY FEELINGS! ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS DOWN PLAYING MY FEELINGS! Not a big deal to you but REALLY REALLY is to me! Just act like a human being and treat me like 1 in return and say SORRY AND THANK YOU. This might sound petty, but, again SO SO SO many times I have been treated so bad from being told to F off cause I wouldn't let SS14 get a cat to being hit by SS19 (15 at the time) to being called SO SO SO many names by all of them and being made fun of ALL the time. This was just the final nail in the "coffin". It has been drug out for 3 days now and every day I am around him since I grow to hate him and all the skids more and more. They were ALL here today rebuilding SS19's motor and curse words where flying ALL day, disrespect to DH from his kids ALL day, the tention when they are here is horrible so, I left ALL day. Which wasn't bad cause I enjoyed Veterans Day with my BS19 that is in the military. But, he wanted to go spend time with buddies he has not seen in a long time cause he is stationed at Fort Campbell KY and just got back from a 15 month tour in A-Stan, but he couldn't leave cause he felt he had to be my protector. Bless his heart cause, he is so respectful to DH and I have always told him, "be the better person" and HE SURE IS. But, he is tired of seeing mom go through this and it's embarrassing for me to have him see it. I lie to him ALL the time when we get to talk cause I don't want his mind somewhere else when it should be on his own safety.
Anyhow, I could talk all day, especially about my Soldier, so, thank you for listening. It means the world. Struggling pretty bad right now. ((HUGS)) to you.
Flipin - if people would only
Flipin - if people would only realize that we just want some appreciation shown and a thank you - it would make the job a little more easier - your DH needs to show you respect plain and simple and some appreciation.
Well Flipincrazy - there are
Well Flipincrazy - there are 6 of them of course you are going nuts - THERE ARE 6 OF THEM - I can barely handle my 1 SS and he lives 700 miles from me - I will read you bio but if that was me I would be running - I am praying for you - run if you can!!!
"The Brady Bunch from H*LL"
"The Brady Bunch from H*LL" is what I call em. Thank you for taking a second to send prayers. Means the world. ((HUGS))
Is that really someone
Is that really someone promoting a website? No fun at all if it is. But, some of it did help. Thank you for letting me know that is what that was. ((HUGS))
That's one thing that drives
That's one thing that drives me crazy about my H. He will bring up a topic that is going to upset him. He gets ME riled up and I respond to whatever he is talking about. Then he says he "doesn't want to talk about it anymore." Even if I am agreeing with what he is upset about!!
How frustrating! He can vent but I get cut off when attempting to let my own thought out.
^^^This is absolutely true.
^^^This is absolutely true. And once you've removed yourself from the situation, the emotional impact is remarkable. Making the choice to leave my ExH is the most difficult decision I've ever made. Once that decision was made, the actual moving out wasn't near as difficult as I'd imagined it'd be. It was really kind of exciting & freeing. Several days, & weeks into my life without him I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, why I'd put it off for so long. How could I not have seen how much better life would be without his anger, abuse & judgement???
When EVERYTHING is expected of you, & NOTHING is given back to you...no credit, acknowledgement, appreciation etc, it doesn't matter how much you love someone. It will break you down. It will get you physically & emotionally. There is nothing worse than feeling like your soul is dead. You lose yourself in trying to be what everybody else needs & wants you to be.
The choice to stay or leave is one only you can make. When you've had enough you'll know it.
((((Hugs)))) to you.