Why is he so annoying ?!
First of all MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! A tad bit about me I'm 23 and In a slightly new relationship with a 26 y/o female with a 6 year old just got to divorced a little bit ago we've been together for a 1 1/2 years.when we first starting dating he was literally never around maybe 4x tops and he was always going with his dad or grandma then shortly after that I deployed so 6 or 7 seven months of only FaceTime and what not... for some reason I thought we were ready to move in together so when we did when I got back (didn't really want to do the long distance thing). So before her I was single lived alone and I have slight ocd just saying...she always talked about like he was the child of God sweetest kid on earth smart well behaved mannered all that. Honestly for the most part he is. He's just annoying as shit sometimes and sometimes he's great. Now don't get me wrong I love the little to death when he's not draining my patience. He's immature for his age which I blame my gf for because she babies him and he's a boy and no male figure in his life(lesbian!!). I work hard for everything I have regardless of what it is and how much it cost he makes a mess everywhere!! Food toothpaste bathroom car doesn't matter, it's to the point I banned eating in my car I have light tan leather seats all he does is spells sweet and sour sauce. He crys over brushing his teeth because the toothpaste is too minty
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Six year olds ARE annoying.
Six year olds ARE annoying. They generally are in that no where stage of not a toddler but not really a kid. Trust me on this I had a 6 year old and he was kind of WHINY. Luckily he out grew that stage.
Your relationship with BM is very new - and even a signficant part of it was spent with you deployed. You may have FaceTimed with your girlfriend but that is no way to establish a relationship with her son. Relationships of a "familial" nature comes from spending time around people - seeing them for who they are when they are at "home". You are also very young at 23 - and you need to seriously consider if you want to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. It is hard. It is the antithesis of your care-free single life living on your own. Just moving in with someone else when you are used to a regimented military life or being on your own in your space is an adjustment. Now you have to adjust to a girlfriend and young child.
I dont understand your lesbian comment? Are you and GF lesbians? I dont think it actually makes a difference to the child's behaviour. If his mother babies him, it is her nature to do so. She may not even know how to adjust her own behaviour to what is age appropriate for her own son. (This kind of reminds me of my friend who got divorced when her son was 5. She coddled that kid so much he was a whiny emotionally stunted brat because his mother could not properly process her divorce and over compensated with her son! She is straight.) You have been oversold on who this child is and the reality is not matching up. Unfortuanately, parents often fail to see who their kids really are. They carry this idealised version of the kid in their heads that no one else sees. If this is your GF be careful because these traits are going to bring you into conflict with her on the parenting / discipline front.
Please also know that what seems to changed or what you dont outline is the changing nature of the custody arrangement of this child. This is also something you will need to deal with as the child's father may or may not be a presence in this child's life. Read that as in your life until this kid is 18. It will never only be you and GF raising this child.
Honestly if I look at this (and you love your GF) 23 is too young to deal with this in my opinion. If you were my son/daughter, I would tell you to find someone else who has no kids. You already find this kid annoying and circumstances draining. It doesnt really get better. At your age, the aggrevation that comes from step parenting JUST. ISNT. WORTH. IT.
Why is he so annoying
Why is he so annoying ?!
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Because he is a 6 year old boy. lol. And it is not likely to change anytime soon. Just know this ...You will not change this child at all. so you either learn to deal with the way your SO parents or leave. I suggest leave since this is a new relationship and you really dislike her kid.
On your profile you state SM
On your profile you state SM and BM, so I take that as you also have a child? Do you have a little girl perhaps? Girls can be really different than boys in maturing, even at young ages.
Simple things like toothpaste are really such small things that sometimes it's best to keep two different paste in the home. My DH is not a child, but he'd certainly act like one if I got him minty toothpaste. He hates mint.
Living with children is a major adjustment. If you've been deployed and hanging with adults for months and months, I think even the best behaved kid could get on one's nerves. Especially when the child has been raised differently than your own parenting ways and beliefs.
At your young age, you don't have to 'settle'. There's a whole big world full of other potential partner out there. Sometimes, as in your relationship being partially long distance, one finds when finally back together and having to live the daily routine , that two people are not always as suited to each other and their individual life styles as they thought they were.
Sit you partner down and talk long and hard about the tough things. Lots of couples are afraid in new relationships to voice their concerns. And if this little boy has been being raising with lots of time between several homes (his Mom's, his father's and a grandparent), I'm sure adjusting to the different homes and the different ways these people in his life 'parent' him is a struggle for him also.
If you feel this relationship isn't quite ready for living together, but you'd like to continue dating and trying, you could always move back out and take things slower. If she is Ms. Right, she'll still be Ms. Right six month or a year from now, right? However is this relationship and home isn't what you seek for your future, why waste more time when you have a whole life yet to live and to find whatever it is you are looking for in bringing you peace and happiness.
The kiddo isn't going to poof. But don't be hard on yourself, it is a big adjustment and sometimes try as one might, living with someone else's kids is downright hard and not for everybody.