WHY does huband get mad at me everytime I have to tell him when his teen is breaking house rules or being nasty
**VENT**It's like ---- WTF man!
It was nice to have him be away for the spring break week - my sadness was dissipated from his absense - then, he came back.
Little things, but it IRKS ME such as, Is it hard to remember to - knock on the wall before entering our bedroom - thats my one place to get away from that kid and I love being naked, but he only does this when he dad is here.
When im here alone he remembers to knock.
When told AGAIN for the ump-teenth time that 10 pm is the cutoff for eating and going into kitchen, guess what was up there finding something to eat after 11 pm when your dumbass was told just one hour ago 10 PM = no fucking around in the kitchen to eat all night.
When she was found on the toilet, again, DH got mad at me and then accused me and my little one that we leave shit on the toilet too - I called him an asshole for saying that. He had a HUGE fit and stormed off and left. Cant hear and handle the truth that your 16 y/o is just plain damn nasty?
With this eating thing, husband was asleep, but what woke me up was the thundering of his footsteps (our bedroom is right under the kitchen) and the slamming of the microwave door - it was like a passive-aggressive move by saying "Fuck you, ill go in the kitchen as I please"
Well DH said he will talk to him AGAIN, and now he is mad at me because I'm pissed off - I'm just so tired of it I just am quiet about it, because when I do "complain" about the shit, he gets mad AT ME.
For instance that dumbass kid lost his phone and wallet - insinuated that I knew where it was by saying "I KNOW for a fact I left it right here by my bed.
I was like well, I don't know what to tell you, look around. Bye Felicia.
Moments later he came back and told me "Oh I found it under my bed underneath all the trash =- guess I should clean that up"
No shit Sherlock.
Room still nasty as all hell today.
I just can't get this ire inside me that just wants to cuss him out. Partly due from the fact of past disrespect and the grudge I feel, but I am really, really getting sick of this shit!
Well the truth is the truth.
Well the truth is the truth. If he doesn't want to hear it then he needs to put his foot down and in his ass.
He's going to continue hearing it until that kid follows house rules. Its not like he has it bad here, his dad does everything for him but wipe his ass, and clearly, he can't even do that right leaving shit on the toilet.
I'm sure you or most people that find this gross would not tolerate a teenager leaving crap on the toilet and boogers on walls and a nasty room where one day I swear there is a corpse found under all that trash. Sure smells like it.
OMG I'm going to try that -
OMG I'm going to try that - just turn off EVERYTHING IN THE KITCHEN!!
But then he will eat all the cereal up - goes thru a gallon of milk every other day, then leave a corner of milk and puts it back in the fridge
(BITCHSLAP)
Geez...it sounds like you and
Geez...it sounds like you and I have the same fucking stepkid!!! Only mine is a girl.
You know I don't tell that
You know I don't tell that kid anything, his dad tells him about the nasty things that I see, and I relay to DH...and DH does tell him in a nice way (I don't because I know me - my animosity towards this kid CLEARLY show) thats why I tell DH about things and let him handle it and he still does this crap.
Just venting thats all
It just makes ME feel like im the asshole
It wakes me up at night when he does this and I know it wakes my 8 yr old up because their rooms are 10 ft apart - staying up at 1 playing video games and eating on a school night, then misses the bus sometimes because he's up all night. Yeah, DH tried to take the console away - for a week, and that doesn't happen anymore- The problem is with DH and the inconsistencies.
Real shit.
You have the same nasty kid
You have the same nasty kid EvilAngel? Do you have anxiety meds to keep you on an even-keel, LMFAOOO, because if I didn't, I would go ballistic like that time he told me to fuck off - Need to start boxing or playing GTA and kill people on the PlayStation...at least thats legal to commit assault and not get a felony.
Posting funny memes and bitchin on my FB is an outlet - People get a kick by the way I word these stories but its truly an outlet.
She is DISGUSTING and has a
She is DISGUSTING and has a smart ass mouth on her. She's never told me to fuck off and if she knows what's good for her...she never will. Her dad coddles her because her BM is a in the nuthouse because she's a drug addict. Nevermind that the woman has NEVER been in her life. He feels sorry for her because she's never had a mother. My question to that is...What if THAT woman HAD raised her? Where has her life been better? So rather than "hurt her feelings" and make the little shit do ANYTHING AT ALL...he coddles her to the extent that she is a total spoiled rotten brat that thinks he shits money!
Good lordt, how do you handle
Good lordt, how do you handle it. I've tried every avenue but to whoop his fucking ass....and his daddy.
After bitching and
After bitching and complaining CONSTANTLY to him about the fact that she has shitty grades and needs to be grounded and that she does nothing around here and had better start helping out some...he's gotten better. For instance...we got her grades about 2 weeks ago and they are not good. She's on her phone 24/7...texting and on FB and Instagram. I told him to take it away. Well he did but let her use it as an alarm to get up for school. I almost lost my mind. She is NOT going to bed at 8:00 and using the phone as just an alarm. She's on the internet on it and texting! He would take it back in the mornings...so on her last day of school before Spring Break, he took it that morning and now I have it. Of course she begged for it back for Spring Break. He actually stood his ground and told her no. Now that school is back in, If she needs an alarm...I will get her up. And I constantly have to stay on him to stay on her. Her "chores" (I don't even like to call it that because it's things she should just DO and not be told to do) consist of little to nothing. Yesterday he asked her to bring the bathroom trashcans back upstairs. They were full of HER nasty pads and were overflowing onto the floor. I told him to let HER get that mess up...but no! He dumped them and told her to bring them back up here. When we got home in the afternoon...guess where they were? Still sitting at the bottom of the steps where they had been ALL DAY. She "forgot". I want to choke her pretty much ALL THE TIME!
Damn girl, I truly feel your
Damn girl, I truly feel your anger.
I stopped with the soda pop.
I stopped with the soda pop. He would drink a whole 2 liter in hours.
Food, I can't stop buying, but I am tired of the plates and shit in his room that he leaves in there for only for me to clean up because he is too lazy to do so. He has ONE chore in the house, and that's to keep the bathroom that he and my kiddo shares, and his dad helps him clean that!
This fucker has it SO easy, because DH lets him have it easy.
If I wasn't about to get laid off, I would take my kiddo and live elsewhere.
I've done the same. Skids
I've done the same. Skids love lunchables. They know to get scissors to open all the little plastic packs of stuff. BUT one day SO was home when they were eating them and SS called SO into the room every 5 seconds because he couldn't open something. I told SS I wasn't buying lunchables again because he was acting like a helpless baby instead of an 8yr old capable young man. A couple of months later I started buying them lunchables again. SS hasn't pulled that crap again.
I handle things myself. If
I handle things myself. If SO doesn't like it, he can move his ass out and live in a box under a bridge with his kids. I'm an adult and pay for more than half the bills and buy most of the Skids clothes, school shit and what not. SO told me the other day I'm a better parent than he is. :jawdrop: I already knew that. }:)
It hasn't been like that since day one but slowly I let him know that I won't live with Skid bull crap. And it helps that I've been with Skids since they were 4 & 6 so they are used to me being an authority figure in their lives.
Going through this now/still.
Going through this now/still. See my rules post:
http://www.steptalk.org/node/214324
I notice things. I don't have eidetic memory, but I am basically hyper-observant. (I'm taking red wine for it, but I think I need a higher dose.) My own kid even asked the other day when I mentioned something after only glancing in a cupboard: "Do you notice EVERYTHING?!" My response was: "Yes, whether I want to or not."
I brought that up to DH later and also told him that I do notice and none of them realize that for every one thing I bring up there are at least 15 other things I let go. So, it's not that I cannot let go, I just pay better attention.
My question to him was whether he wanted me to let him know what I see and if he does then he cannot shoot the messenger. I'm not about to poke myself in the eye repeatedly. Or, he lets me do the out-loud "noticing." I'm willing to put up with the heavy sigh after I tell him but we will have another discussion about it if he tells me I'm nagging or being picky. (I'm telling him infractions to the rules we set together.)
I now ask if he wants my observations or not. This morning he sighed and said sure. I mentioned a suspicious behavior, a broken rule, and the fact that yet again neither skid brushed their teeth before leaving for school. I accurately predicted one of the non-teeth brushings without observing the child or seeing the toothbrush...just based on other things I saw/that happened. THEN I confirmed it by looking at the toothbrush. They are a tween and teen and cannot seem to brush their teeth regularly! (Yes, an ongoing rant on this site. I wish I wasn't in need of that particular sub-support group.)
We will see if he becomes more vigilant. To say it's been inconsistent might be generous.
Spouses cannot handle the
Spouses cannot handle the thought that their precious diddums are not perfect. My SS has a speech problem that a lot of money has been spent correcting. When SS is lazy or over tired he speaks like this "daddeeeeeeeeeeee weee de bikits". 90% of the time I have NO IDEA what he means. SO understand that to mean "Daddy where are the biscuits". I used to ask SS to speak properly. I used to remind SO to help SS to speak properly. I lived with "sighs*, "eye rolls* and so forth. Now I ignore it unless I am addressed and am befuddled with what exactly "Monchiiiiiii were dat" is.
Things I will not ignore. An unwiped bum, unwashed hands after wiping a bum, rude behavior, throwing food on the floor, hurting, swearing etc. Pick your battles. If SS wants food after 10pm leave out a box of dry crackers/ apples and lock the rest of the food away. You are not depriving him and you seem nice. And as previously suggested if you are a drinker administer favored beverage at hourly intervals.
Sally, he has oral and motor
Sally, he has oral and motor dyspraxia. He actually had a speech problem until we got him in to speech therapy. His looney toons mother kept him out of school from age 3 until age 4.5 when we forced school.