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Which one is worse - in your opinion? SD/SS

Roseybird's picture

I was having a discussion with a co-worker and we were trying to figure out which sex is worse to have if you are a stepmother - a step-son or a step-daughter?

Also, if you are a stepdad - which one is worse - stepsons or stepdaughters?

alwaysanxious's picture

SD!

Shannon61's picture

That's an easy question. . . SD without a doubt. I'm sure a SS wouldn't be as petty or pathetic.

Anywho78's picture

Between the two living here I'd say they are even...with the teenagers...the SD's all the way!

alwaysanxious's picture

LOL

zacsmom94's picture

I have a ss7 and sd5, and they are both about equal with issues and being the custody battle facing currently, I so for see it getting only worse from here. Both the BM and DH failed at being parents in a sad way I hate to say. When you have 2 kids that can't sleep alone without waking up 10 to 12 times a night (that is on a good night), have no table manners, love to argue, lie about everything, manipulate to get their way, constantly want non stop 100% attention (yes I am serious, they can't go 5 mins without saying I love you or need a hug) and that is just part of my issues. I won't even go to where the BM issues are at this point.

marissamae88's picture

SD I would hate to have an sd. Daughters tend in my opinion to look like their mothers. I would hate to her my SO or DH say honey your so pretty and I am thinking yea she looks her mom I dont need to hear that. The competition the rudeness the princess bull sh** umm I will take ss over an sd any day.

on the fence's picture

Oh, SD, definitely! They can be territorial, manipulative and just plain mean! And in the right circumstances, daddykins will never see that and we look like the jealous freaks!

overit2's picture

SD's agreed! Then again I don't have ssons. BUT from everything I see it's SD's. The territorial thing and the "princess" syndrome and "daddy girl" stuff.

YES...it's hard for me also that SD is the spitting image of her mom. Then again-my boys take after their dad mostly looks wise so I'm sure that bugs my bf also.

Shannon61's picture

Interesting comment Marissa . . my SD does indeed look like her mother . . and everyday is now starting to show BM's nasty ways (fortunately never directed at me, but others have told me about her actions in the past). I'm reminded of a time when DH referred to SD as "sleeping beauty" and I felt my stomach drop . . because he's never said that to me. :sick:

I think I could tolerate the laziness and no regard for the environment or personal space better if I had a SS, and would trade my SD for a SS any day of the week.

Auteur's picture

"sleeping beauty"

I am CONVINCED that many a guilty daddy views their princess poopsiekins as a "BM do-over"

They find that having their daughter inappropriately hang off of them as oddly flattering. Emotional incest.

In their minds they seem to be thinking: "I know I could have had a successful relationship with the BM b/c look at how much my daughter LOOOVVVVEEES me; if ONLY I could have had that with her mother"

:sick:

marissamae88's picture

I am lucky that i have all ss. they all look like their dad so I think they are as cute as pie lol. I just couldnt imagine me being able to say what a pretty girl how anything because its what BM looks like. I know how petty it sounds but ex's are meant to be the in the past I dont want to look at them even in the form of a child.

Crazyness's picture

my SD looks identical to her dad thank God lol. She hasnt taken one thing from her mom lol.

And to the topic of this thread. I havent had an SS but I think girls are more difficult. Girls = hormones and teen years are a lot difficult for girls then boys.

Auteur's picture

SD! Sorry but females are much more manipulative, clever and passive aggressive as a rule.

So take that figure and multiply it by the power of 1000 and then you've got a crafty SD with her wheels spinning 24/7. And 99% of the time her bullseye is placed squarely on SM's forehead.

Kk27's picture

It is grown step sons that are the worst! I have 4, and 2 are fine. 1 buts into all of our business and the other one has lied and drained my husband of resources while lying about college attendance! The one that buts in seems to be helpful at times, but I can’t figure out why he seems to ‘care’ so much!!! GET A LIFE!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

SDs for sure, but the SSs I had were no picnic either. Nobody can manipulate and play daddy for a fool like a teenage girl!

marblefawn's picture

SD is worse for sure! It's that whole ownership of a father thing that makes SDs worse:

For men, it's shameful to be considered a "mama's boy." They are forced to grow out of it even if they don't want to or others will mock them. But how many grown-ass women brag about being a "daddy's girl" into their 40s, 50s, 60s? It's a double standard that really gets whacked when dad remarries and another woman is in daughter's space.

And of course, this is bolstered by other societal double standards. For example, how often to you hear women in their 60s calling a father, "Daddy?" But you never hear a man in his 60s referring to his mother as "Mommy." It's like it's OK for women to forever revert to being little girls when it comes to their fathers -- the old damsel in distress act. Ugh!

Likewise, it's OK for a grown daughter to sit on her father's lap and have a flirty demeanor with him, but you'd never catch a grown man sitting on his mother's lap. It just doesn't happen! 

So these grown daughters can be little girls, hovering wives, or little teases with their fathers. How does a SM compete with that???

So I guess what I'm saying is there's almost a psycho-sexual thing between these divorced dads and their daughters that you just don't see between sons and fathers. I've seen stories about boys protective of their moms when their mothers remarry, but it doesn't have that sexual tinge that so many divorced dads have with their daughters.

Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say??? (I don't feel I'm explaining it very well.)

--figureditout--'s picture

My SS is an idiot. My SD is a troll. Both equally worthless to me.

I have 2 bio sons. Due to all of the crap they've been exposed to by my drinking, DH's drinking and mental illness and SD's shenanigans and mental illness....they are good kids. 

Honestly, it comes down to parenting and interacting with the kids.

lorlors's picture

for sure stepdaughters are worse than stepsons. They are manipulative, snide, love telling you what mean things mummykins has said about you, dirty, passive aggressive, they lie repeatedly, try to get daddy on side (thank god I’m a lucky one whose DH is a wake up to their bs and puts me first).

Give me 2 stepsons anyday for the price of one stepdaughter.

Loxy's picture

I like my SS11 and we get along well but my SD13 drives me crazy as she's just like BM so we clash a lot!

CLove's picture

She loves me and tells me this. She and I have great conversations, to the point where I wish she were my daughter, and can see why mothers really enjy having daughters to talk to and play with, and do things with. She definitely has her moments, but basically shes a kid, on the verge of being a teenager. Her sister, on the other hand is the worst. Luckily she is older and has a job and doesnt live with us. I grew up with boys, so I know boys are easier as children, with potential to be bad as they get older...its the parenting.

Rags's picture

While I have no direct personal data points regarding SDs the ground swell of STalk and the broad SParenting world in general seems to indicate that SDs are more difficult as a whole than SSs.

It seems that the whole situation is also far harder for SMs than StepDads regardless of the gender of the StepSpawn.

My brother has a daughter and two sons.  All his BKs with his wife of nearly 25 years. He maintains that as small children girls are easier than boys but once they hit the pre-teens and early teens boys are far easier than girls.  That seems to be a general consensus in the parenting universe in general though certainly as they say on an individual basis "your mileage may vary" YMMV.