I am not sure if it is necessary to tell them that you are their Daddy's girl friend. Kids are not stupid. They have probably figured it out all ready.

I would not behave any differently when the Skids are visiting than when they are not visiting.

Just be you and keep whatever normal activity and routine you and your BF would usually keep.

IMHO of course.

Welcome to the community by the way. I hope that you find it a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful perspectives from others who are living the blended family dream.

Best regards,

What is the difference in your behaviour with him in front of his kids if you are girlfriend or friend?

What would you do differently? You say you don't want to pretend to be somebody else, what do you mean by that?

IMO, a good girlfriend is a friend first and foremost. I guess I'm just not seeing what you would do in front of them as 'girlfriend' that you can't do as 'friend'. Are you planning on making out in front of them?

They are too young to know the difference I think unless someone is explicitly making a distinction.

Are they asking if you are girlfriend and is he denying it?

Also, are you sure it's them that he's hiding it from and not from their mother?

Thinking back, I was introduced as friend at first and I don't think anything different was ever said. I just became a fixture.

I think a lot of these things are made into issues when they don't need to be when parents turn things into a huge ordeal. The label that you have is irrelevant. Just be who you are. The kids don't need a serious sit-down talking to about it. That would pretty much ensure they are going to have issues. Just let it be what it is. I've never been one to worry about labels though. I'm much more interested in how things really are than what they are called.

My Hubby and I were "friends" until we got engaged - SS9 was not ready for DH to have a girlfriend and we respected that - we did not hold hands or kiss until we told him that we were getting married - he knew Dad had a friend that he liked to spend time with and Dad moved 700 miles away for a job opportunity and I saw SS when DH came to visit him at the holiday so he knew something was going on - we told him we were getting married after we told his ex. When we got married - SS came to live FT with us but I feel that giving children time to get used to the idea of Dad with someone new is the best way - I would celebrate your birthday with your boyfriend alone and let him decide when it is right - you will know with time if he is ever going to tell them - let it get a little more serious and see what he does. Don't push him to tell the kids - his ex wife may be a psycho and he knows it and is putting off the inevitable.

I wouldnt try to hide it or try to pretend you are someone you are not. I am also in a situation like yours. BF and I have been dating 3 months, she's a tween. We kept it friendly for a week then after that we said forget it so we act like we normally do when she isnt around.