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What the hell is wrong with DH?

ladynischera's picture

Submitted by ladynischera on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 6:24am

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Hi all, I'm new to the site, just need another person's POV on my current situation. I am 21, my DH is 25. He has an almost 2 y/o from a previous relationship who he does not see often due to issues with BM. We are currently in the process of suing her for full custody and have a court date set for Sep., 29 of this year. DH and i are married and have a 5 month old together. We do have many issues that we are working on together in marriage counseling, however, this is the kicker...

Ever since my husband received a final court date from his lawyer last week, he has been on a MAJOR health kick. I have never seen him like this in the course of our two year relationship. He's counting calories, working out SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, doing push-ups and sit ups at home...its insane! On top of it all, he's starting to bug me about losing weight myself. Now I just got off maternity leave, also in graduate school, and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things at my own pace. But he is seriously getting on my nerves now...he nags me about my calorie count everyday, and harasses me about not exercising even though I joined a gym, and have been trying to exercise slowly so I do not re-agitate an old exercise injury. I guess the reason why I am here is that he never put so much of an effort to look good for me while we were dating, why is he putting up such an effort to look thinner just because he's going to be in the presence of the ex? Any thoughts on this? Am I being immature? It just does not make any sense to me.

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 7:48am

You are not being immature. He does sound like a health freak that, like Cruella said, wants to rub what a "sexy" couple the two of you are on BM's face...

Have you asked him that? "you never put so much of an effort to look good for me while we were dating, why are you putting up such an effort to look thinner just because he's going to be in the presence of the ex?"

Look into it carefully, DH couldn't care less how he looks like when he knows he will see BM, If I saw him grooming, or putting "extra efforts" that would not be part of his normal routine otherwise, when he goes get Sd or when BM comes then I would totally worry.

Maybe since your DH hasn't seen BM in a while, he wants her to regret that she lost him, which is pretty scary.

By the way, Welcome to the site! I'm young as well, We are close in age too, I'm 20!

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Wed, 07/01/2009 - 8:55am

that he can control what he does with his body. Maybe not his life, so much. A way to control stress and show "fitness."

ChaiLatte's picture

Submitted by ChaiLatte on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 12:09pm

deleted

DoingItAgain's picture

Submitted by DoingItAgain on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 12:37pm

My first instinct would be.... if he is suddenly concerned about his looks, he may be cheating. But if he's bugging you about it, then maybe he's just on this personal kick and wants you to join him. However, putting you down and critizing you is not going to help... I know. You need to tell him that "when you do/say this... it makes me feel like..." If he knows you are concerned for your health and want to look good for him but just need to do it on your own time without his criticism, then hopefully he will be understanding and learn to try to encourage you but get off your back!