I've posted before about ss12.5 not wanting to talk to dh on the phone. This has been going on for three years not, not a single phone conversation. My fellow step bloggers suggested that ss12 was in "survival mode" and not wanting to upset BM. I was blasted because I asked about punishment because ss said he would answer the phone and never did. Well I took the advice and we never punished ss. Dh and I agreed that he would continue to communicate the importance of a phone conversation and that we wouldn't do anything extra.
Anyways. This last time raised some red flags for me. Dh was talking to ss and I'm not sure how it got to the "communication" subject. But all I heard from ss was "it's a good thing you didn't call last weekend because I probably wouldn't have answered because I was to busy moving". I wanted to get real snotty with ss and ask him what his excuse has been for the past 3 years, but I kept my mouth shut.
This statement again makes me question if ss is really trying not to upset Crazy Bm or if he just doesn't care about dh. Dh thinks it's Bm and I think it's a little bit of both.
Since SS was a small child the Sperm Clan rarely called to speak to him. I can count on less than one hand the number of times they called from the time SS was 1yo until he was in 8th grade. When they did, we just listened to them later just to be sure we were up on the latest of the Sperm Clan's toxic manipulations. We recorded evey telephone call with the Sperm Clan whether we called them or they called us. Their toxic vitriolic crap made very good listening when they forced our hand to drag them back to court. The judge in particular loved to hear them claim that they never manipulated the Skid then start stammering when we would play the recordings of their vitriolic crap in court. We did not hover and we did not review the calls until the Skid was asleep for the night though.
When we gave him a mobile phone in 8th grade they began calling him occassionally. We did not hover though we would ask him how everyone was doing and what they talked about. He had no issues keeping us abreast of his interface with his Sperm Clan.
For his entire childhood we made it a point to occassionally remind SS that we had no secrets in our home or family and that he was free to discuss anything he wanted to regarding his life in our family when he was on Sperm Land visitation or speaking to the Sperm Clan on the phone. Discussing his life with us was just an ass barring experience for the shallow and toxic Sperm Clan end of his gene pool. We were fine with that.
Now that he is nearly 22 he has very litte interface with his Sperm Clan. He does maintain contact with Sperm Idiot spawn #2. They are the two of the Sperm Idiots 4 out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas that do not share a mother. Recently SS updated us that he has terminated any interface with the toxic Sperm Grandhag. She finally bared her own ass with SKid bad enough that he has gained clarity on how toxic, manipulative, and controlling she is. We knew it all along and we never hid those facts from the Skid but he had to come to clarity regarding Sperm Grandma and the rest of the Sperm Clan on his own.
Is the kid otherwise acting like a normal kid of that age when he visits? Doesn't resist visiting? If so I'd drop it. An emergency call (grandma died) can go to BM.
Ss feels so entitled to things when he is here and all dh wants is phone communication. He is worried that ss will turn out to be like POS Bm and stuck on welfare. He wants to help influence ss into a better lifestyle.
What do you think? I've
What do you think?
I've posted before about ss12.5 not wanting to talk to dh on the phone. This has been going on for three years not, not a single phone conversation. My fellow step bloggers suggested that ss12 was in "survival mode" and not wanting to upset BM. I was blasted because I asked about punishment because ss said he would answer the phone and never did. Well I took the advice and we never punished ss. Dh and I agreed that he would continue to communicate the importance of a phone conversation and that we wouldn't do anything extra.
Anyways. This last time raised some red flags for me. Dh was talking to ss and I'm not sure how it got to the "communication" subject. But all I heard from ss was "it's a good thing you didn't call last weekend because I probably wouldn't have answered because I was to busy moving". I wanted to get real snotty with ss and ask him what his excuse has been for the past 3 years, but I kept my mouth shut.
This statement again makes me question if ss is really trying not to upset Crazy Bm or if he just doesn't care about dh. Dh thinks it's Bm and I think it's a little bit of both.
Since SS was a small child
Since SS was a small child the Sperm Clan rarely called to speak to him. I can count on less than one hand the number of times they called from the time SS was 1yo until he was in 8th grade. When they did, we just listened to them later just to be sure we were up on the latest of the Sperm Clan's toxic manipulations. We recorded evey telephone call with the Sperm Clan whether we called them or they called us. Their toxic vitriolic crap made very good listening when they forced our hand to drag them back to court. The judge in particular loved to hear them claim that they never manipulated the Skid then start stammering when we would play the recordings of their vitriolic crap in court. We did not hover and we did not review the calls until the Skid was asleep for the night though.
When we gave him a mobile phone in 8th grade they began calling him occassionally. We did not hover though we would ask him how everyone was doing and what they talked about. He had no issues keeping us abreast of his interface with his Sperm Clan.
For his entire childhood we made it a point to occassionally remind SS that we had no secrets in our home or family and that he was free to discuss anything he wanted to regarding his life in our family when he was on Sperm Land visitation or speaking to the Sperm Clan on the phone. Discussing his life with us was just an ass barring experience for the shallow and toxic Sperm Clan end of his gene pool. We were fine with that.
Now that he is nearly 22 he has very litte interface with his Sperm Clan. He does maintain contact with Sperm Idiot spawn #2. They are the two of the Sperm Idiots 4 out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas that do not share a mother. Recently SS updated us that he has terminated any interface with the toxic Sperm Grandhag. She finally bared her own ass with SKid bad enough that he has gained clarity on how toxic, manipulative, and controlling she is. We knew it all along and we never hid those facts from the Skid but he had to come to clarity regarding Sperm Grandma and the rest of the Sperm Clan on his own.
Is the kid otherwise acting
Is the kid otherwise acting like a normal kid of that age when he visits? Doesn't resist visiting? If so I'd drop it. An emergency call (grandma died) can go to BM.
Ss feels so entitled to
Ss feels so entitled to things when he is here and all dh wants is phone communication. He is worried that ss will turn out to be like POS Bm and stuck on welfare. He wants to help influence ss into a better lifestyle.
Thank you tog. I do tend to
Thank you tog. I do tend to follow your advice the most. It seems like you have gone through everything that we are currently going through.