UPDATE: short rant on week cut short SD15 came home early LANGUAGE WARNING
FYI we did not go to the beach on Thursday, I did not want her company!!!! SD went back to her moms and called me on Saturday (she's not supposed to come BACK till Sunday) She said I'm stopping by to get my swimsuit are you home? I said yes. FDH says HEY! WE are going to the beach do you want to come????
Fuck My Life Again-
Her mom is waiting outside she tells her mom to leave and she's coming with us. I'm raging mad and don't even want to go anymore but thats not fair to MY bd, this was her special day. I'm giving my FDH the silent treatment. SD doesn't have a swimsuit (ummm wtf was she coming to get when her mom was waiting???) So we drive around getting off exits looking for a store so he can buy her a new swimsuit. While we are doing this SD is crabby and crying bc she wants to go to her friends cabin for the fourth and she's still grounded (from her drinking and nearly dying episode). BM says yes bc her friend is trustworthy(???))) and dad says no. So here we are SD15 ruining the whole fucking trip. I had steam coming out of my ears and grew horns at this point. Fuck them both I'm so angry.
I freak out tell him I should've came alone, Once again SD pops up and decides she's coming now it's all about her and we are wasting my and bd's time driving around bc of SD needs a new fucking swimsuit. DROP ME THE FUCK OFF AND DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME. So he did.
He sends me a text an hour later " I know you can't stand me right now and I'm sorry"
I sent him this text word for word:
"You know what? I can't fucking stand you right now Or SD, this is fucking bullshit. You wonder why I have the attitude I do when she comes around?? BC she always makes it all about her and you fucking fall for it every fuckin time and I'm fucking sick of it. This was BD's special day. SD cried and was crabby the whole way here, she wasn't even supposed to come and here we are at the beach ALone with out YOU the only one I invited bc of her. I hate being around you 2 together and I'm super fucking angry with you. I should have came alone and next time I'm going to. You Won't be invited either. Everytime SD is home we are on the back burner and if you don't fucking see it you better open your fucking eyes"
They Show up 2 hours later(from when he dropped us off) and SD has on a new bikini and is complaining the top is too small. I could. have .shot. her
To top it all of, when we leave SD goes " I get the first shower!!!!"
The fuck you do! I'll turn the water off!!!!!!!! }:)
WE didn't talk till late at night in bed and he claimed he knows he was wrong for taking her to get a new swim suit, I said BULLSHIT bc if this were to ever happen again you would do the same exact thing. I'm still pissed
He just kept apologizing. I don't want to hear it!!!! I'm sick of the " I'm sorry's " when nothing ever changes.
WE all did end up having a pretty good weekend I'm just so frustrated !!!!! He feel's like he HAS to invite her bc he doesn't want her to feel left out but it always ruins my time. And right or wrong, if I make plans for just me and BD when he doesn't have SD he would feel really bad, he's a family man and would be super hurt. He purposely doesn't tell me if he invites her bc "why would it matter it's his daughter and he would always invite my daughter, and it's true he would but I hate his daughter!!!!!
WEll e knows now and I'm not afraid to tell him he better not invite her ass next time or he will be staying home too!!!
GOD I WAS SOOOO ANGRY!!!!
Wow, I really like how honest
Wow, I really like how honest you were. You called him out and there was nothing he could say. He couldn't turn around and just say "you don't like my daughter", because you fully admitted it and WHY you don't
This sounds exactly like what I have gone through and really resonates with me. Everything becomes about her and I don't want anything to do with it.
I can't tell you how many times SD has forgotten her swimsuit, gym clothes, headphones, tennis shoes, etc and dad has taken OUR time to go buy her yet another one. After a while, he did stop, but he just starts it all again. Now she's being super nice and sucking up to dad so its going to get gross again.
You said it perfectly "I hate being around you 2 together"
I tried so hard to push SO to take SD shopping (he already took SS) while me and SS goes to a bday party for my friend's son. He wouldn't. He took SD and when we get there SD and SO sit across from each other and you know what she does???? She starts rubbing her toes on his feet. FUCK ME gross. actually I should blog about that.
I think we have the same SD,
I think we have the same SD, She does it on purpose to get new stuff. Every season he has to pay for her sports buy new shoes and new equipment and she quits, everytime. Who's the idiot??? he is. It still makes me so mad though!!!
I'm very honest with him. I'm sure he thinks I'm jealous, I really fucking hate that excuse with a passion. I do hate them 2 together when I'm there. And I as well, want nothing to do with it.
FDH is so scared I'm going to leave him bc he knows I'm sick of it. He's made some progress but not much. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do or not but I'm gonna keep him on the edge so hopefully he thinks twice next time she pulls this shit??? Maybe it's just wishful thinking. He told me he chewed her ass the whole way back to the beach bc now him and are fighting bc of her crap. Who knows if he did or not. I just want this to get better.
I never would have gotten into this if I had known stepkids add this much stress. I came into this so blind. I really love FDH so much, I hope we can get through it I'm just not sure it's worth it somedays.
We do. I have decided reading
We do. I have decided reading a few of your posts recently that they are very much alike. Daizyduke imjusthtemaid and a few others have one like this too. We should start a club LOL.
I wouldn't have either. Now I just tolerate her visits and stay away. Every time she comes, I never think its worth it.
We should start a club! I
We should start a club! I have read a few posts of theirs as well and I can always relate!
Hold on we have the same SD!!
Hold on we have the same SD!!
Last year we went to the water park with all the kids and my nieces. SD15 hid her clothes under the seat and claimed he needed to buy her new shorts and a shirt so she can change out of her wet bathing suit. While they were walking up and down the strip looking for clothes my niece told me SD hid them under the seats in the car. We pulled them out and when DH and SD got back (SD wearing a brand new f**kin outfit)I told DH what she did. He just blew it off. SD was mad because she was not the center of attention and had to take daddy away to buy her new clothes.
Unfucking believable
Unfucking believable
I would have loved to and she
I would have loved to and she really is testing my self control. I have snapped on her before and it was all bad, not for me but for FDH. BM got involved and it was miserable being around eachother for over a month and it was literally over me telling her I wasn't giving her a ride. We broke that barrier and I do say things but not to the extent I would like to. I tell my FDH everything and sometimes he does something about it and sometimes he doesn't. It's only a matter of time, I wish she would go stay with her mom FT.
Me too. My problem becomes SO
Me too. My problem becomes SO feels sorry for SD then I become the bad guy. If I leave it alone, then she has no one to treat badly but him and SS so then he see's it.
Unless she's blatantly offensive towards me, I don't bother.
I even watched SS13 get crap from SO the other night because he (SS) was tired of SD's nonsense and SO felt sorry for her because SS was calling her out.
Thats exactly it, I CAN say
Thats exactly it, I CAN say how I feel and be a bitch to her but it's only going to make life worse, FDH is going to feel sorry for her bc he does the guilty parenting, him and I will be in a huge fight and I will feel like a stranger in my own home when she is there. Plus, She uses me as an excuse every chance she get's so if I let her know how I feel without being a bitch that gives her less ammo to use against me.
She plays her mom and dad against eachother and if I am "a bitch" to her then it makes life worse for everyone. It may be difficult to understand and some of you may not care but We are actually talking at this point and sooner or later FDH is going to get sick of being"in the middle" and he's already starting to see things he didn't before and making baby steps in some areas. Atleast it's progress. If she's rude to me I will take the opportunity and rip her a new one but she hasn't yet, thats why if we both bitch to daddy he's gonna get sick of it!
I'm learning too, I"m new at this as well and now I know, I'm leaving both their asses at home next time!
Scapegoats. That's all we
Scapegoats. That's all we become.
When you leave them with their princesses alone, they have no one else to blame for their bad behavior.
SD plays her parents against each other. SO just made me out to be an asshole when I pointed this out. So I left it go. THEN he found out the hard way and literally admitted I was right and he couldn't believe she would do that.
I really feel for you and I
I really feel for you and I know how you feel, your Fdh needs some ground rules, I know I don't like surprise visits from my skids and I love them, Sd is being coddled and babied, when actually she needs some boundaries and discipline, her mother sounds to soft, if my daughter got so drunk she risked her life, I would ground her for a month, no money and no treats, thats just for starters, your Fdh sounds a bit like mine, I swear my Bf used to be a slave to Sds every whim, well I stopped that, things have changed around here, I threatened to leave, he finally came to me and cried, he promised to change his behaviour, the more they let their kids get away with whining and bad behaviour, the more we resent the kid and them, why can't they see that? Anyway Im so proud of you for telling him off, that took balls, now its time for your Fdh to use his balls, Good luck honey.
I think we all have the same
I think we all have the same SD...... I mailed mine her VS swimsuit because she left it here at their last visit.... she claims she never got it... BULLSHIT. Of course she comes this summer with all new clothes and a very expensive new suit..... her mother claims to have no idea where all these expensive clothes are coming from as she just could NEVER afford to buy that stuff...... are you kidding me right now?
SD17 got a new swimsuit out of the fact that the BAD STEP mom lost hers in the mail..... I can't wait till she forgets her lie (they always do) but like every other father I'm sure hers will blow it off..........
One thing I have learned over
One thing I have learned over the past 16 years is to not let stuff like that ruin your day and especially not your child's day. F-that. Next time that happens, just take your child and go on according to plans. If your husband wants to deal with drama then he can, on his own time, and he can meet up with you later.