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Update of a former miserable stepmum

Ratilal2016's picture

Submitted by Ratilal2016 on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:43am

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Hello all,

I just wanted to wish you all a happy 2021 and say that steptalk is still a big part of my life, each time I have some free time I check the news and the new posts here!

Right now I was reading my old posts and God ....was I crazy, desperate and suffering! But with the help from all of you I survived and I have to say thank you and how many kind, wise and non judgemental people are gathered here at a forum of step parenthood!

Concerning me the rest of my year was very fun but super crazy....I got a new boyfriend (now ex) that was absolutely crazy and messed up (43 years, no kids, living from family money, never worked in his life, drugs, alcohol) but it honestly was one the best summers of my life! I traveled a lot, always partying and no responsabilities! Of course that with the end of summer and me starting in a new job in the government where I had the highest score among all candidates (yeyyy!) our incompatibilities made the split, however it was the 4 months I needed to recover from the ridiculous and traumatizing experience of being a stepmother!

I still haven´t found my prince charming but I found my Godmothers in all of you and no more single dads for me but without steptalk I can´t imagine myself Smile

 

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 11:02am

It sounds like you're moving past your trauma.  Sometimes Mr. Right Now is more fun than Mr. Right and nice that you had a fun summer romance.  Good luck with your new job and as far as the Mr. Right search - now you know more about yourself and what you want in a partner, so from that standpoint you've come out ahead.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 11:09am

Sounds like Mr. Trust Fund was fun to spend a short time with lol! Congrats on your future free of skid/BM drama!

Ratilal2016's picture

Submitted by Ratilal2016 on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:32pm

Being so happy with a guy full of problems in comparison with a disney dad tells a lot about what we deal as a stepmother! Blaaaaaargh

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 11:16am

Love to read of your continued success! Im on here 4 plus years and 6 plus years in steplife. Steptalk absolutely made the difference in my life, and I continue here as a sort of public outreach to help others that are where I was.

Glad to hear of your new job. I also work for the Government and love it, as well as the bennies.

Biggrin

Ratilal2016's picture

Submitted by Ratilal2016 on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:28pm

Please, never leave steptalk! You give ALWAYS such good advice and confort!

I had to google translate the word bennies ahaha guess all the center of this blog is proving stepkids are no bennies LOL

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:47pm

Government benefits are the absolute best. I get annual raises, plus retirement accounts and 457 a as well as great medical. Paid vacation leave! Paid sick leave! and paid holidays!

Thanks - glad I could help.

Ratilal2016's picture

Submitted by Ratilal2016 on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:57pm

Here in Portugal we get a salary extra on xmas and another on holidays, we only work 7 hours per day too, have good medical insurance only for government employees and the work is far more rewarding! However progression is frozen so as raises since some years due do european crisis!

Jojo4124's picture

Submitted by Jojo4124 on Thu, 01/07/2021 - 10:10am

For sharing how you are doing! It is so encouraging to see your progress...n healing!  Glad you had FUN!!

I left 30 days ago with no contact. I look forward to the day I can look back at the pigsty I climbed out of n see the healing n progress I made...

Congratulations to you!!!

PS  how long til you stop thinking about the pigsty n piggies? 

Ratilal2016's picture

Submitted by Ratilal2016 on Thu, 01/07/2021 - 4:21pm

You go girl! Believe me when I say that 1st month is the worse! I started to feel better in the beggining of June....We broke up 9 of March (1st day of lockdown in Portugal) and it helped not having to go to work and deal with people but having nothing and nowhere to go was horrible also. June was the beggining of hot weather that helps a lot. I would say 3 months was the time for me to heal partially.....some wounds and triggers unfortunetely always stay with us *bad*

Jojo4124's picture

Submitted by Jojo4124 on Sat, 01/09/2021 - 11:22pm

Thank you! Yes there are triggers like ptsd but they are fading. 

Keep healing yourself!!!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 01/10/2021 - 1:22am

I love that you moved immediately into broadening your experiences with Mr Right Now/Trust Fund.  We are all the sum of our experieces.

I have long held that I would not change a thing about my life, or my DW's life.  Our pasts are what made each of us just right for each other when we met.  We have made a life together and done amazing things since then which has kept us just right for each other.

Enjoy your life and however many Mr. Right Nows you need until you are seasoned just right for Mr. Right when he arrives.

I am so glad that you are all in on your new life adventure.

Enjoy it.

crystaloo's picture

Submitted by crystaloo on Tue, 01/12/2021 - 2:10pm

It is so great to hear your update.  I'm so happy for you! The best part of moving forward is taking back your freedoms and self worth. It also is such a great experience to meet someone amazing down the road who is childfree who has their life together, financially, emotionally and otherwise.