Hi all,

I posted a week or so ago about a situation involving my SO and his BM. I felt they were too close and I got some great advice from this forum. I just wanted to update (possibly vent a little!) on what has transpired. Last night my BD had a chat with me asking why I don't cuddle my ex (her dad) anymore. I told her that we are divorced and when people divorce they no longer cuddle. I have a straight forward amicable relationship with my ex, but we don't hug or have a lot of contact. BD wanted to know why then does SO cuddle his BM. Apparently when he took her to BM's house (that I didn't know about) she saw them hug and kiss on the cheek on arrival. Given the past history of my feeling they are inappropriately close I was pretty upset. It may be irrational but that's how I felt.

I had it out with SO last night about the whole thing. He had previously told me that it was "all for the kids" and he just wanted to keep the peace with her and would modify the contact as I was concerned about them having keys to each others houses and being way too familiar among other things. Well apparently he just said it to placate me because we had a huge argument about it. He really blew his top and did all the usual accusations, I'm jealous and insecure etc. All I asked was for there to be clear boundaries and respect of our (and his BM and her partners) relationship, like I do for him.

As it turned out he was not willing to try to see my point of view AT ALL or compromise on anything. He now says they are friends and like family. He thinks it's perfectly reasonable to hug and kiss BM as a "greeting" (everyday). Am I the only one who is a little weirded out by that? It got really out of control, with him yelling but I was not. He ended up telling me to leave his house. So, I guess I have my answer and that is that. I am in shock at the moment as apart from this issue we had a fantastic relationship and were talking marriage etc. I know it will hit soon and I will be very upset for myself and my kids who love him. I really can't fathom how he can be such a prick over a woman who cheated on him and constantly tries to manipulate him and turn the kids against him. But he obviously isn't the man that I thought he was, or that he portrayed himself as, and I will be better off without him. I was so stunned at his level of anger. He was really screaming at me, which seemed way over the top for what should have been a simple compromise discussion and compromise with the one you are supposed to love.

Anyway, I wanted to say a big thank you too all on the board who offered advice. If I hadn't had clarification from the members on here I may have spent another year or longer in a relationship that wasn't right. Good luck to everyone else who is in a difficult situation.