I suspect that some of you have been through this before and your perspective could be valuable. At the risk of being a broken record, I'll summarize our situation as best I can. I'm a SM to twins SS/SD8 and have been since they were 2.5 years old. BM took DH (and myself by default) to court in late August to change the 50/50 custody arrangement (no CS) to 80/20 so she could move 800 miles away. Court ruled in DH's favor after 2.5 days in court. DH requested CS in October and was awarded CS in December (2 weeks ago). The same day as the CS conference, BM told DH that she and her husband were getting a divorce, he was actively moving into a place within eyesight of the place they just moved into, and she was already paying an informal $350/month in CS to him. After the court officer ordered BM to pay DH monthly CS, she told DH that she was quitting her job to move back, would be forced to take a lower paying job, and would sue DH for CS.

DH was told by SD's dentist that she needs braces. DH brings this to BM's attention and even has the orthodontist call BM to tell her this directly. BM is refusing to the treatment because she says she can't afford it. (CS Order says BM has to pay half of any medical/dental bills beyond $250.00 annually.) DH offered to cover it himself and BM effectively told him to shove it. Our attorney says we can proceed by petitioning the court to make BM consent and/or pay or SD will have to go without.

BM asked DH if she can continue to claim one of the kids on her taxes. I don't think DH has gotten back to her but I know she's not exactly eligible unless DH signs off on it first. DH and I have gone back and forth on this and he doesn't want to give it to her but he wonders if it'll make BM back off a little if she takes the tax credit. (I disagree -- I think this is all about money for her and she'll never back off or be happy so long as DH exists and especially if the twins are with DH.)

This week, we overhear BM's husband talking to SS/SD during their twice weekly FaceTime with BM. We weren't listening in but we could tell from our positions that it was a routine exchange between them. She left DH and the CS conference participants with the impression that her husband was on his way out the door. Seems a little suspect when he keeps popping up like nothing changed.

BM asks DH today to make arrangements for SS/SD to visit the children of one of her friends that lives in this area. This is one of the friends that BM had on her witness list to support her at the hearing. (She has no dirt on us, she was to tell the court what a great mom BM is but they didn't get to her within the time allotted.) This lady also has had a bad habit of running into us around town and pushing herself into our business when it's least welcome -- one of the last time's was when we were going to a court ordered GAL appt and she was too nosy, too pushy, and wouldn't take the hint we had to keep an appt. This lady recently started working in a closely related industry to mine and she was bad mouthing me to some close colleagues of mine just before the hearing! DH and I don't want to deny the twins a chance to see their friends but this lady has actively tried to sabotage my family and career! I don't think DH has responded to this request either.

Can't trust a thing BM says, does, or even who she associates with. I know it could be worse... but, still... 10 more years of this, at least? Ugh...