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Unfriend skids

Just human's picture

What has been your experience with un friending the skids on FB? The SD14 and BM only use it to spy on us. I am interested in what the fall out can be. I really don't care about having a relationship with my DH's kids. They don't communicate with him over FB so there really is no point in terms of it facilitating communication. Thoughts/factors we should consider?

Jellybeam's picture

I had to unfriend SD because she is a smart ass. I am fb "friends" with her mom, but I wish I weren't. I think it is just a way to keep tabs on us. So I make sure I post all of our happy family pictures! If I had it to do over, I wouldn't have friended her. I would advise against it.

sixteensmom's picture

not only do they see everything you do, you get sucked into seeing everything they want you to see them doing. its been trouble for us.

sixteensmom's picture

not only do they see everything you do, you get sucked into seeing everything they want you to see them doing. its been trouble for us.

Kes's picture

I used to be the SDs friend on FB, even though I am not their friend IRL! However, I found that because NPD BM nor my DH seemed to care that SD16 (then 13) was posting suggestive pics of herself on FB and talking about stuff like "her masturbation material" openly - I found myself in the position of policing her account by reporting this stuff to DH when it appeared.

After some months I got so sick of it I decided to end my relationship with FB and deactivated my account. So I don't care what she gets up to now. I never liked FB anyway. There is a big backlash against it in the UK, where we are quite concerned about it infringing our privacy.

I hate Fridays's picture

Having skids as friends on FB caused me nothing but grief so I blocked them! Although my husband understood, when SD19 found out, she's not happy and has slagged me to husband and given me cold shoulder to the point that it has ended my marriage! Bl**dy FB! Sad

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

I unfriended both SD's about 6 months ago. I have never heard a word about it, so either they haven't noticed or DH hasn't heard about it. He is the only one who would say anything about it if they boo hoo'd to him.

I did it for privacy reasons. It felt creepy to know 2 grown SD's who hate me are looking at my FB. I am not on it much, but have a few distant friends I keep in touch with on FB.

StepDoormat's picture

DH and I both unfriended and BLOCKED skids. They were using our accounts to spy on our lives and I was sick of it. I wish I could say life is completely social-media drama free... but we still have family members who keep us updated on their posts... which are usually nasty and degrading toward us.

bi's picture

i have blocked sd twice, and this last time it is permanant. she used fb to spy on me. i don't know what she thought she was going to find out, as i KNEW she could see what i was posting, but she sure as hell tried to find dirt anyway. i found out smil, who is not even my friend on there and never has been, was asking people who were on my list to look me up so she could spy as well. i guess it didn't occur to her to just friend request me and she could have seen it all herself. it didn't matter what i posted, they found a way to twist it into something scandalous and before you knew it, i was cheating on fdh and pregnant by someone else, bla bla bla. total fucking ridiculousness.

the first time i blocked sd, she was 17. she told fdh it "wasn't appropriate for a sm to block her sd on fb". :jawdrop: the nerve of that cunt is neverending. i guess it was however, perfectly appropriate for a sd to use fb to spy on and gossip about her sm, as well as blast me in her posts and send me shitty messages. :? the very next day, i realized i needed to block her bf too, because she would just use his account to spy on mine. within 2 minutes of me blocking him, she was sending me shitty texts, which tells me that she was actively scoping out my page when i blocked her bf and she cut got off mid-snooping. }:) so i blocked the bitch from my phone, too!

she hasn't said anything to me about blocking her this last time (last may), and if she said anything to fdh about it, he didn't mention it. i find it funny that now that she can't send me shitty texts and messages, i don't hear from her at all. she doesn't have the balls to say to my face what she will say to me thru technology, so cutting off the technology has effectively muted her. Smile

Just human's picture

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your perspectives on this. DH and I are talking about unfriending her or creating a whole new account that she won't be invited to or told about.

Just human's picture

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your perspectives on this. DH and I are talking about unfriending her or creating a whole new account that she won't be invited to or told about.

momto3's picture

I'm friends with SD15 on fb, but she lives with us & has her BM blocked. BM is blocked, as well as SD27 & SD18 from my page. Too much drama for me & BM is just being nosy.

SD15 just announced the other day that BM created an Instagram account & was now following her...I cringed b/c sometimes SD puts up pics of her & her siblings, but SD decided to block her on that as well.

Neither of my older SD's like me, so I figured why should we be "friends" on fb.

OptimisticMe's picture

I never friended my SD when she was living with us bc she wasn't allowed to have a FB page (too young) and DH and I were blocked so we wouldn't find out. Now she is not living with us and she unblocked me, had her 13 yr old boyfriend try to add me and then finally blocked me again...I am relieved bc I would NOT accept a friend request from her (or her boyfriend)...she would just use it as a chance to spy or blow up my page with lies that I abused her.

However, SD unblocks me at times so she can steal my profile pic if it is a pic of my bios...then she posts it to her page without permission. I find that upsetting but have not confronted her about it.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I never understood the whole "facebook stalking/spying" thing. How can someone stalk or spy on you when a)you put it on the interent for people to see and Dirol you allow them to see it by adding them as friends. Way too much passive agressive drama for me. My skids are on my page because they live with me and they are my kids. I really would not care of BM saw my page, but I would not add her as a friend. There is really nothing of significance on my page. I don't post my entire life story, nor do I post what is going on in my life (not that I have much going on anyway).

Dee19through2's picture

I was friends with my SD's but BM removed me when she saw the weekends they were at her house they were chatting with me through FB. But before I accepted the friend request I partially blocked them so that only my public posts were accessible. I have BM and her husband and family completely blocked. She was going in through the SD page and sending me messages and stuff so I have not added them back. That's what privacy settings are for. BM is a bi polar and very nosey person. Not someone I want knowing anything about my daily life.

notmyspawn's picture

If it was me, I wouldn't unfriend SK, but I would change my settings to limit what SK could see.