Turning into the HULK
I want to type out my whole rant, but don't want to bore you all. Here is the short version...
DH and I have different personalities when it comes to the household. I like the house neat and clean, but have had to lower my standards just to stay sane. The way he views doing things that NEED to be done at home and taking care of tasks for the kids is...non existent...unless I tell him to. If I tell him what needs to be done, he'll accept. In the end, he may or may not do it. Then the nagging begins. I know I am not the only wife who struggles with this. I know many husbands who don't help out and mine probably helps out way more than the ones I know. The ones I know actually are at work a lot though. PLEASE HELP ME WITH IDEAS that are loving!!!
I also think my husband lives in another land where he does more than he actually does, because he thinks he helps a lot. But obviously if I rarely get to sit down and he is frequently doing what he wants then there is an issue.
I like a neat house as well
I like a neat house as well and BF could care less. I think we both compromise. He cleans more than he wants to but not enough (I think).
I have learned that if I want my house above a certain standard, than I have to be willing to do more of the work. It became less frustrating when I learned to deal with a little mess. Also, We both work 10hrs a day so I don't nag about cleaning during the week.
Another thing that helped was telling him what needed done. In the beginning of our relationship, he would ask what I wanted him to do. I always said whatever you want. Who am I to tell you how to spend your time. Also, your an adult and you know dirty from clean. Clean what's dirty. Does NOT work. He needs me to tell him what I need help with. But I say it in a nice way, like "When you get a chance can you take the trash out" Usually works well for us.
I am lucky because he is on my side with the Skids cleaning their own messes.
But he does have his days of leaving shoes in the living room or wet towels on the bed.
I have to go she hulk on DH
I have to go she hulk on DH too. If I don't he'll keep putting it off and putting it off. Or I'll just start doing it myself and when he complains "Hey I said I'd do it" I always just tell him "Yeah you said you would, but I did it...see the difference?"
I work more than my DH so
I work more than my DH so that's why I get so frustrated. It sucks having to clean so much on my days off because he was too lazy and chose to play on the computer on his extra days off...
I sat down with my DH and we
I sat down with my DH and we made a list together of household chores and how often they needed to be done. Some daily/very regular things we have just made a routine for - sometimes it doesn't work but usually it does. For ex, DH empties the dishwasher every morning. Except last week when he was running late. After a couple of days, I mentioned how I could see he'd been running late and how can I help him with getting up earlier since him emptying the dishwasher really helps set me up to keep the kitchen tidy throughout the day. Turns out, he didn't need any help (lol), he just needed that 'friendly' kick in the pants.
Other stuff, like bigger stuff we do on the weekends (changing sheets, etc) we just talk about over breakfast - what do you want to get done today/this weekend - do we have time to do it all, if not, what's most important.
BF also ask me what we need
BF also ask me what we need to accomplish over the weekend. It's a nice help.
I do all the housework,
I do all the housework, cleaning, cooking, etc EVERYTHING.
But I like things a certain way. So I just suck it up and do it all.
It's funny that you should
It's funny that you should bring this up because whenever we are at parties or gathering and people ask DW what my *ahem* contributions are to the household chores, DW laments over how she wishes I would help her more since she does ALL the laundry and ALL the cleaning and ALL the mopping etc....Until it is quickly brought to light that I do ALL the grocery shopping, ALL the cooking, ALL the dishes, ect.
haha that is funny. My DH
haha that is funny. My DH will occasionally grocery shop, only after I have "ignored" the task and he likes milk way too much to go without. He occasionally straightens up and cleans up after our ds2. We decided that whoever cooks has to clean after meals, and that works well. But basic stuff that we agreed he'd do like vacuum, clean bathrooms, and take out trash are neglected all the time. I literally do everything else...bills, organizing, meal plan, planning family outings, mopping, sweeping, cleaning the counters, laundry for all 5 kids and myself. Like literally, he only has to do his own clothes and they are always in a heaping pile.
I like to put a little
I like to put a little deadline within the question. "Hey, can you fold your laundry before bed?" "Hey, can you call the insurance company by Friday?" That sets the expectation for both of us so that I'm not fuming if he's playing video games while the thing I asked him to do is going undone. He knows when it needs to be done by and I can't get mad if he waits until the last possible second, haha.