Tripped up at the finish line
It's been a few years since I've last posted here. I don't really feel like a step parent anymore due to SD's PAS and estrangement with DH and the rest of the family. September of 2021 was the last contact we had with SD. Family members have ran into her a few times over the years but she either pretends she does not know them or flips her hair in their face and spins around.
My husband came to terms with the situation and has moved on for the most part. It's been really peaceful with BM and SD out of our lives and no longer causing trouble every single week. We've been busy with our 5 kids and just living life.
SD graduated high school and is set to turn 18 in about a month. We were really looking forward to officially closing this awful chapter to put it bluntly. The useless parenting plan and court ordered child support is set to end in a few weeks. So naturally BM has to throw a hail Mary.
Dh got a notice in the mail the BM is requesting a child support review. The child support agency wants all pay stubs from 18 years ago, tax returns, offical dates that they lived together, official date of separation (teen parents never even lived together or married) , medical documents, and several other documents/proof. We are literally down to 30 days before it is suppose to end. In my state child support continues until the child is 18 or graduates highschool whichever comes later. Dh's child support order states his obligation is 18 or highschool graduation as well.
We are very confused by this. We received notices for review every 3 years but BM passed on them. Now with about 4 week left she requests that child support be reviewed and recalculated. Nothing has been filed through the court only a request through the child support enforcement division.
I have no idea how this will play out. We submitted most of the documents they are requesting during the first hearing when child support was established. Why are they asking for everything (and more) again? It's going to take like 2 weeks just to gather the enormous amount of documents they are requesting. By the time this is all settled SD will be over 18? She never wanted to review the order in all these years but requests to in the last month? I'm just baffled by it. Anyone with similar experiences or advice?
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I wish I was in your
I wish I was in your situation of never to deal with BM and SS ever again.
It doesn't make sense though that they want to review the maintenance for someone who is turning 18 soon. It's either they want to get as much money as they can out of you and your DH before the maintenance is cut off for good or it is just a process to frustrate you.
Keep calm, maintain your cool, follow through with the request, be comforted in knowing that this will be over soon. You just comply so that no one will ever blame you in future or use as/find a loophole to extend the manitenance period. Not sure what the law dictates in your country.
Sounds like BM is panicking
Sounds like BM is panicking about CS ending (the toxic ones do that), so she's playing games. The least she can do, she figures, is bother the hell out of you all. At most, she is likely trying to prove that you all owe more--that some payment was missed somewhere. Sorry you are going through this. It will be over soon, I hope (and bet).
This is sadly a typical hail
This is sadly a typical hail Mary play out of the entitled GUBM playbook. In our case Meth Mouth lost custody when Spawn was 10, so she lost all CS at that point. When Spawn graduated high school, she was living with her maternal grandmother. Meth Mouth wrecked the car Spawn was driving so of course they hit up DH to guy her a brand-new vehicle that she would choose. DH refused so Meth Mouth petitioned for a CS review claiming she was on state aide. The case went to court a month before Spawn turned 18 and DH had to end up paying one month of CS. If Spawn hadn’t been living with GrandHag, Meth Mouth wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on. It was the one last ditch attempt to get money out of a well that both knew as going to run dry.
Wow! I wonder what great
Wow! I wonder what great things she accomplished with that one whole month child support payment. It was probably more effort than it was worth for her.
I don't care about us paying a few extra bucks for the last month. I'm more annoyed at the amount of documents they are requesting. I thought the review just looked at the recent years since the order was established not clear back to the birth of the child. We already did all that. It's a waste of time and quite pathetic.
I'm not sure why she is panicking now she knew this day was coming up. Why wait till the last month of the court ordered obligation? She honestly could have requested it before now if she wanted more money.
I'm just hoping that it ends in July. We want to throw away the 800 pounds of custody and child support documents consuming the office. We want to be officially done and this is the last thing tying our lives to them.
Oh yeah, it’s all a time suck
Oh yeah, it’s all a time suck and a way to let you know she exists and can still yank DH around by his junk if she wants to. Also, these BM’s are so stupid, Meth Mouth tried to sue for back CS starting when she allegedly got on state aide and the courts were all CS starts when you petition, in case a month before. Your BM won’t get back years’ worth like she thinks she’s going to.
End of CS is a huge celebration on both ends of the blend.
For us, the CP side, having CS end correlated with the end of the CO, end of visitation, and end of any need to answer any SpermGrandHag ranting calls or to ever speak to anyone in the SpermClan again. The money was never critical for us and was mainly an additional leverage point for us to maintain DW's food on the throats of the SpermClan.
Of course on the NCP side gets a notable raise after the final CS payment. Likely even more exciting for many STalkers is that there is zero need to speak with the CP ever again for any reason. Not to hear the whining and begging for money, not to try to trigger a fight between the NCP and their fresh mate, etc......
Congratulations and good riddance to the blended family opposition.
Cheers to the SKids who hopefully get to start their escape from the toxic side.
Yes how is
BM going to survive with out CS ? She may have to get one of those real jobs. That a four letter word
She has a job but she pays a
She has a job but she pays a lot of child support for the 3 kids she lost custody of and then she decided to add in a new baby in between all of her dwi's. I'm guessing our child support helps to cover hers.
Dh was able to talk to an agent at csed. The agent was just as confused as we were. The actual caseworker is unable to take his call until next week. So I guess we wait. I'm not sure how retroactive child support works or anything. Dh submitted proof of all the child support he paid dating back to the month they separated in 2007. He did not have any back pay when it was officially established through the courts nor has he missed any payments going forward. He always had her provided full medical and dental insurance. She waived the last two reviews so could those years be retroactive? I'm not sure what else he could be on the hook for or what else she would try to get out of him.