Too harsh a punishment?
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SS17 has been very difficult recently; sullen, argumentative, grumpy, throwing tantrums. Last night he made his lunch for school which we found in the bin later that night. He said that he felt ‘pressured’ by DH into making lunch for school. Ridiculous.
DH has taken his car keys from SS17 until Sunday. SS17 has kicked off saying he needs the car we bought him to go to school (lies). A punishment is meant to be a grind and SS17 tries to negotiate and bargain his way out of it. In my world, being sneaky and throwing good food away is not ok.
Thoughts?
He can always hitch a ride
He can always hitch a ride with a buddy or ride the bus to school, can't he? But honestly does the punishment fit the crime? Not really, I'd make him but groceries the next grocery trip. So that he realizes food has a cost, and throwing food away is not an option.
Yes he can
He would find spending his own money even worse a punishment. The school is only 10 minutes from our house and he can get a bus or a lift with a friend. The only currency that works with him is removing electronic devices such as phone/laptop or the car we bought him. It’s not just about the sandwich I guess. There has been a pattern of bad behaviour for the last few months.
The mistake was giving him a
The mistake was giving him a car in the first place, especially when the school is so close and there are buses. I don't think anything good comes from giving a kid a car at such a young age.
Sounds as if you need to be clear that the punishment is about his attitude, not just tossing good food. But to be fair, he's at a hard age when keeping a good attitude isn't always easy with racing hormones.
I agree- a car is a luxury,
I agree- a car is a luxury, food a necessity. Why is dad pressuring him to make his own school lunch- hope it isn't because he's no money because the car is so expensive!
I'd just let him go without lunch...better still, I'd let him go without a car.
Why does the kid believe he
Why does the kid believe he is "pressured" to pack a school lunch? Is his father insisting the kid pack a lunch rather than prehaps purchase lunch? Or is the kid one who just doesn't want lunch, period, and Dad thinks SS needs to eat lunch?
The teen is being a silly young man. All he had to do was pack the unwanted (for whatever reason) lunch and ditch it in the bin at school. Dad would be none the wiser and the teen was still have his wheels.
So I"m not sure what point the SS thought he was making with the lunch in your home garbage was to prove. That the kid isn't as sneaky smart as he thinks he is? Or that he just didn't think anyone would see his freshly packaged lunch sitting in the trash? What 'statement' was the kid trying to send with his foolish action?
Anyway, no. I do not think removing keys from a kid is too harsh.. Yeah, a bit extreme for the actual incident of a sandwich (or whatever) sitting tossed in trash, but I raised three teenage boys and I know fully well when that last straw breaking the camel's back, so to say, snaps the load.
agree
From the original post it sounds like it was too harsh a punishment for the incident at hand, but yeah - teens (not that I know I don't have any yet - but will in less than a year).
I think it's important to have punishments that fit crimes and i'm a big believer in WARNINGS. Such as: "One more incident - even a minor one is going to result in keys taken, because I'm tired of the general attitude" Setting clear expectations and consequences is important. It will still seem unfair from a teen's eyes (most things do!!) but at least they've been warned and you know that you've not acted in haste.
Not harsh at all, 17 is old
Not harsh at all, 17 is old enough to have major responsibility and getting a car is a major privledge.
Oh poor lickle diddums man
Oh poor lickle diddums man child, having to make his own school lunch. My daughters both made their own packed lunches for school from the age of 13 onwards, it was one of the few household chores I asked them to do, and they never grumbled about it once.
I can't believe the preciousness of some of these snowflakes nowadays. Do as fairyo says, let him go without both.