Thrown Under The Bus
I feel thrown under the bus.
DH came home with SD21, who has been at BM for several days but lives full time with us. She and I have a fairly good relationship, and she knows her mom is nuts and has a love/hate relationship with her.
Apparently there was some brouhaha because SD overheard me talking on the phone to someone who had run into the BM and had a pretty bad experience with her. They thought by her name (which BM never changed back- I think that is odd) that she was DH's ex, and wanted to verify. Nothing disparaging or terrible was said, a few chuckles were had that BM could be a little loopy and that was it. SD21 apparently shared this story with BM, who of course is now somehow deeply outraged that when she acts horribly people have the audacity to share that info??? Whatever, I don't care that she is mad, or that SD told her. C'est La Vie, this shit happens.
DH felt the need to pull me aside and whisper about all of this like it was some top secret serious shit. He counseled me on how I shouldn't have any conversations involving BM blah blah blah, that it only causes problems and we don't need more, blah blah blah. He kept telling me to whisper so SD would not hear. Keep in mind, DH starts all kinds of crazy shit with BM for no reason whatsoever on a frequent basis. So, even the little lecture was irritating, but fine. It's still not what I'm mad about.
What I'm mad about is shortly after, we started discussing finding a marriage counselor and he was speaking SO LOUD.
So, we have to be all super secret that OMG the BM can't know I `GASP` ran into someone whom she acted like an asshole to, but we can announce to the world that we're going to counseling?
And he doesn't think that hasn't gotten back to BM's melodramatic ears yet? I bet SD was blowing up her phone with play by plays.
I swear to Christ that man doesn't think.
Oh he WAS thinking. He
Oh he WAS thinking. He figured that if SD told BM that you guys are going to counseling, that will placate her. Jackass.
I hope whoever you find for
I hope whoever you find for counseling tells him that his grown ass daughter does NOT belong in your home.
I agree with this. When fss
I agree with this. When fss is 18 and out of highschool, it's either move out or start paying me rent on the first. I wouldn't deal with a 21 yr old skid living in my house, ESPECIALLY if she's going and gossiping to her mother about it.
Oh yeah, the old "be sure to
Oh yeah, the old "be sure to walk on eggshells so that skids and BM don't get upset". I hate that sh!t. You had a conversation on your phone, in your house. Maybe SD shouldn't have been eavesdropping. Christ!
Hippie girl, I love you.
Hippie girl, I love you.
Right back atcha, furkids.
Right back atcha, furkids.
Oh hell no, I wouldn't put up
Oh hell no, I wouldn't put up with this. I'd tell DH that if SD cannot conduct herself like an adult, IE.Not running and sharing the business of your home to her mother, that she can pack her happy ass up and go live with BM. This is silly. Is this chick even paying you rent??
As far your DH practically inviting this little eavesdropper in on your convo regarding counselling, not cool. So disrespectful to you.
A) I think this post (or it's
A) I think this post (or it's contents) should be shared with the marriage counselor on the 1st visit.
C) Personally, I don't think you should be ashamed of marriage counseling. I think you and DH should take pride in the fact that you guys are trying to save your marriage. Every couple goes through hard times, especially a couple who has to deal with a BSC BM and a 21 yr old SD who still feels the need to tattle to mommie and when you add in the 21 yr old SD who still lives with you....even if she was a bio-kid, a 21 yr old living at home has to be stressful. I think you're setting a good example that you fight like hell to save a marriage!