For those of you following my life story

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I'm kinda just talking,...sharing,...no real question, not really venting, just sharing,...

My boyfriend came home today and said he went to talk to a priest about us. (He was raised Catholic and has not stepped foot inside a church since he got divorced. He does not have a church annulment--SO the church still sees him as married to his ex wife)
My boyfriend said he thought that maybe talking to this priest would help him sort out his life,...
I asked what the priest said and my boyfriend's response was, "the priest said he was going to pray over what I said and that I could call next week and set up an appointment with him to have more time to go over everything"
I am not Catholic, So I don't understand exactly what is going on,...but I do know I like talking to people about crap going on in my life,...

The way my boyfriend

The way my boyfriend explained it was it was like court. He has to present evidence that the marriage was never legit,or some other such thing.
(he does have the evidence-BM was pregnant and he really did feel forced into marriage by her father because he got her pregnant)
But both sides have to bring up witnesses and you have to pay money to get it done....

Now this is just what my boyfriend has explained to me,... so others might have other insight,.... I have never looked it up,....

It can certainly help move

It can certainly help move things along if the ex agrees. The church will contact the ex and usually the ex can hold the annulment up for a while if they want to. Some people have said that the ex has to agree and others have said the ex doesn't. I know some people that contested it because it made their kids bastards according to the church and in one case the church did not allow it and in the other they did. Some people have told me that the church no longer calls the kids bastards and they have also said that if you are Catholic you must get the annulment no matter what but when I was getting married I was told as long as you are not married in a church it doesn't count. Someone else was told as long as it is not a Catholic church it doesn't count. So I am guessing each diocese makes their own rules. They also make their own prices too...

He has said before that he

He has said before that he never got the annulment because he felt like it would "make his kids feel like they were illegitimate"
I told him I kinda understood that, and asked him if he still "felt married" to her because the church didn't annul the marriage.
He then followed up by saying something like "I don't need to pay the church and go through all that legal crap all over again with the church, it will be like court all over again, it's legal now, i don't care what the church says" He also told me that even though I AM DIVORCED TOO, according to the Catholic Church, I was never married in the Catholic Church, so officially to them, I was never married,...

Now his opinions could have changed about his religion since then,... or maybe he is feeling that wonderful catholic guilt coming up again,...

He has also said on a few occasions that "we" need to find a church,... but everyone around here is Catholic,... ONLY Catholic Churches w/i 30-45 min drive,...
So nothing ever came of it...

He WAS married IN the

He WAS married IN the Catholic Church,.... BUT BM was 6 months pregnant when they got married,... and BM DAD had a little conversation with my boyfriend when he got BM pregnant.... My boyfriend explains that he really didn't WANT to marry BM but felt he was obligated,... as my boyfriend explains it THAT IS REASON enough for an annulment,... The fact speak for themselves. Wedding was announced in MAY 2000, in JULY 2000 they were married, his oldest was born in NOVEMBER 2000...those are the facts...

My MIL just received her

My MIL just received her annulment from DH's dad. They were divorced over 20 years ago. She decided to get the annulment because she wants to have a huge wedding in the Catholic Church-this is a whole other story, as she is 67 and has been married for almost 20 years. She is ridiculous and my biggest issue right now. But, again, another story.

Anyway....it took well over a year and cost over $1,000. It was a ton of paperwork. She had to state reasons why she wanted the annulment, and had to have witnesses who attested to her character, the marriage, etc. DH's dad was given paperwork to fill out. He mentally abused her for years and cheated on her, but when she finally left, he became angry. He still sees her as "his." So, he wrote a lot of nasty things about her. He is awful...but she did not need his permission. They would granted it if he had not filled the papers out. He did, however, have the option of fighting it, but DH and his brothers convinced him not to.

I think the Church would rather not grant annulments, and make it difficult because of this. But, my MIL was able to do it. I am not sure if it took so long because she had to track down certain info. that was not easy to find-I think the Church where they married was merged or something...so her records were hard to find. She spent hours filling out paperwork and talking with nuns.

This is what my boyfriend

This is what my boyfriend said,... that it takes forever, costs money, and is like court-having to bring witnesses and "both sides giving testimony" kind of thing. He was concerned about his kids,... they were too young to understand things when he got divorced, but they are all old enough now to hear both sides of the family talking about things,... and already his oldest is in therapy,...

I'm just wondering if THIS was his hang up,... if somehow he feels like he is still married to BM-in the Catholic sense, or if he feels like remarriage would he hurting him SPIRITUALLY or something like that,...

For all of his stalling and promises and such, it would make sense, however IF THIS IS his hang up----IT won't be going away ANYTIME soon