Such frustration! Why does this bother me???

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FSD cut her foot last night at BM while on visitation. She didn't notify FDH until this morning, bby phone cal (voicemail left because he is working)

I'm pissed because FDH called her back.
He got all the info he needed in her voicemail.... She is at work now so he didn't call to talk to the kids. But he calls me to tell me and he is laughing, that FSD wasn't crying when it happened but yelling at her older sister that did it accidentally...

I asked why he called BM back when he said he was going to only use email communication.
He said it was an emergency. I told him," no, it would have been an emergency if BM had called you last night and let you meet her at the ER! BM called you to talk to you! And you did, had a nice little laugh fest about how funny it was that your daughter was more concerned about yelling at her sister"

I told him I was at work and had to go, but I'm so pissed off!

BM insists on these things and FDH gives in every time.

Just like his daughter being sick, and BM insisting he get out of the cat and walk up to her door for her to give him the medicine and instructions.... She could have written them out, could have walked her lazy ass to the car, but she makes a demand and he jumps to it.

Am I just being a freak?

I know they aren't getting back together, BUT I have told him I deeply hate him doing these things and it really bothers me that he does what she wants....

Also I feel I should add that

Also I feel I should add that he did not call his kids cell phone to talk to his daughter or ask how she was,.... He chose to call BM back and listen to what she had to say, And talk to her!.... When he COULD have called his daughter directly and ask her what happened and if she is ok,..... Sorry, but this is really burning my ass how frustrated this makes me....

I don't really know enough of

I don't really know enough of your story to really speak to whether or not this is reasonable or unreasonable.

I think if your BM is manipulative and shady, then yeah, any excessive contact should be stopped.

But if you're just hung up on him having friendly, open communication with his ex, then my answer is a little different.

Boundaries are important, and they'll go a long way to provide the security you're looking for .. but you might want to tread lightly depending on the other facts of the situation.

^^^This^^^ Also, a lot

^^^This^^^

Also, a lot depends on the age of the child and if the information wouldbe accurate if he did get it from the child. I can, to some extent, and again, depending on the age of the child, understand BM wanting to give the father directions regarding something as important as medication, and making sure he is understanding. Things can get miscommunicated in writing and medication is important to get right. However, I agree, she could have walked to him instead of wanting him to come to her.

The girl is 12, going to be

The girl is 12, going to be 13 this fall....

And it was alergy pills because BM thought she was getting sick. Having a spore throat...

Ahhh, in that case, then yea,

Ahhh, in that case, then yea, I would think he could get the accurate and full story from his daughter, as well as medication instructions.

IMO, your DH was out of

IMO, your DH was out of line!

If he was so concerned about SD he should have called SD NOT BM.

This is a prime example of not having boundaries with the ex.

SMof2girls thinks its ok to have friendly, open conversation with the ex but I disagree. If you can have such friendly conversation than why did you divorce in the first place.

Not only does the children need to understand that a divorce SHOULD change the family dynamic but the EX's need to get this too! Playing the happy family or we are all good buddies after divorce doesn't fly with me.

If you can have such friendly

If you can have such friendly conversation than why did you divorce in the first place.
I see this train of thought on here quite a bit. It's not always so black and white. I like my exH as a person and consider him a friend (now, several years post-divorce) but he sucked as a husband, which is why I divorced him. Just because you're friendly with someone doesn't mean you should stay married. There are a lot more reasons to divorce someone than just the fact that you don't like them anymore.

Well BM AND FDH fought all

Well BM AND FDH fought all the time in their marriage AND NOW,... BM just wants control

Well BM AND FDH fought all

Well BM AND FDH fought all the time in their marriage AND NOW,... BM just wants control

^^^ EXACTLY!

I think so many of us are so

I think so many of us are so used to dealing with and seeing the psychotic BMs who try to ruin our and our DH's lives, that we just get stuck in the mindset that all of them are like that

I think you're right! I'm

I think you're right! I'm sure it's a HUGE majority of them that are like that though. I know sometimes I can be a crazy BM and sometimes my SD's BM can be crazy, but for the most part I like to think we're okay...lol.

i deeply respect my ex. he

i deeply respect my ex. he had alot of problems that lead to our divorce, but at the core he is a good person. i could be friends with him, but i will not disrespect my dh. the truth is, i think he may still have residual feelings for me (it's totally natural and happens ALL THE TIME), and i make sure it is strictly a business type relationship. why risk fanning any potential flames? it is not appropriate being friends with someone you were married to/had children with after a divorce and re-marriage. there's too many other people in the world to be friends with and have a relationship with that would not disrespect my spouse or potentially hurt my marriage.

I agree, if your spouse

I agree, if your spouse considers it disrespectful to them. However, I don't feel that parents should turn an amicable relationship to an unfriendly relationship due to the wishes of a third party who knew what the relationship was like when they got into it. However, the person with the upset spouse should do what they can to make that spouse happy. I don't have that problem as my husband is friendly with my exH too and, in no way, feels threatened by him or the friendly relationship we have.

Unless there is a reason to

Unless there is a reason to be cold, distance, and strictly business, I see no reason why parents shouldn't be able to communicate openly in reference to their children.

If the BM is psycho and manipulative and drama-hungry, then of course it's completely out of the question.

People divorce for a lot of reasons .. not just because they struggle with open, friendly communication about their kids.

Oh no she is incredibly

Oh no she is incredibly manipulative and a disgusting person.

Little more background:

FDH has physical custody pays all bills
BM gets visitation and does Not pay any CS

BM was having am adapt with another married man and left FDH for him, and has since moved on to married man number two (the first one wouldn't leave his wife, but she got number two to leave his wife)

She moved 45 miles away from her kids and used to make FDH do ALL the driving before I came along and put my foot down and made him 50/50 split driving with BM,....

She is a snake in the grass and ALL the time does crap and makes FDH jump through hoops....

I just recently had a conversation with FDH saying:

I know you are just trying to keep the peace, but when you bends over backwards to make BM happy, you are CHOOSING BME HAPPINESS OVER MINE, DO YOU REALIZE THAT?

YOU MAKE ME INCONVENIENCED, UNHAPPY, UPSET, FRUSTRATED,

JUST TO MAKE HER HAPPY,

ISN'T THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT? YOU ARE CHOOSING HER OVER ME

he said he didn't realize he was doing it, but stuff like today happens again so soon and it just ticks me off!