Step Parents Bill of Rights
Step-parent Bill of Rights
1-I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2-People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives or husbands, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
3-I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
4-I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5-I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
6-I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
7-Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8-I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9-My husband or wife and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10-Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
Any thoughts?
Best regards,
That should be the rule
of all households w/ skids....it's really NOT alot to ask. :)"~waiting on the world to change~"
I LOVE it!
Did you write this yourself?
I am going to quote you for sure!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Bill of Rights
How do you enforce this bill of rights? I can say all these things but no one listens or cares. I am at the end of my rope.
Enforcement is not difficult .... trying yes, difficult, no.
All,
Get creative. If you are not getting any support from your SO or the kids on the SPBoR then quit grocery shopping and let them starve until they comply. Don't pay the ISP or cable bill, water bill, electric bill and when they call you to ask what is up with no power, cable, water, etc tell them that you will call them back when you get out of the hot tub at the hotel.
The next time they are all out of the house together have the locks changed and don't give them a new key until they all agree to whatever you demand at the front yard pow-wow. Significant other (SO) included.
If they don't put down the game control when told and start doing chores when you TELL them to, cut the cord. Take a hammer to the PS-2, Xbox, Wii, TV, lap top, cell phone, I-pod, whatever they value. And don't replace it. Let them replace it and the next time they fail to follow the rules pull out the wire cutters or hammer and go to town. You are the parent you can destroy whatever property is in your home that you want. I doubt there is a police officer in the country that would do anything but cuff the kid that called because mom or dad battered the Wii in to junk.
Let them know with absolute clarity that they will enjoy life only if they comply and if you deem to let them enjoy life.
If the SO won't enforce the rules with the kids, enforce the rules on the SO.
When I was going through my snarky teen phases my Mom would find all kinds of creative ways to motivate me. If I would not get out of bed when told, a large pitcher of ice water dumped on me got me up in a hurry. If I did not do a chore she asked me to do, my place was not set at the table and I did not eat. Tit for tat though juvenile works. I very rarely was subjected to the "wait till your father gets home" escalation because I new that it would be far more unpleasant than any thing Mom would throw at me as far as creative consequences. When Mom got creative I learned in a hurry to do what I was told when I was told to do it.
If an SO or kid raises a hand to you in response to a pitcher of ice water call the police and let them spend the night in jail.
If clothes are left in the middle of the floor dye them pink, throw them away, throw them on the lawn and run over them with a the lawn mower. When the kid(s) have to wear the same outfit to school everyday for a couple of months your point will be very clear. All of the video game CD's floating in the toilet sends a very clear massage.
Respect is not always earned. Sometimes it has to be taken. Take it.
Just some thoughts.
Good luck and best regards,
awesome.
awesome.
We have dealt with CPS also.
Crayon,
We have had CPS to our home in response to a call from the PaternalBioFamily. No issues were identified and the Paternals were scolded by CPS for filing a frivolous claim. When we contacted CPS in BD's location due to extremely poor hygiene while my SS was on visitation we were told that at 10 the child was old enough to bathe on his own initiative and that we could not interfere with visitation.
I am convinced that like most family law "professionals" I have experienced, those that make up the ranks of the CPS come from the bottom 10% of the law enforcement community. These are the same people that allowed a child under CPS oversight to starve to death in Philadelphia last year. Morons. IMHOOC
If the CPS XWIL continues to abuse her office to interfere with your family I would file an ethics complaint with CPS internal affairs and continue to file complaints until she is disciplined accordingly. Anyone that would abuse their office as she apparently is has no business with a badge. Just my opinion of course.
Good luck with your CPS adventure.
Best regards,
I am so grateful for the
I am so grateful for the Step Parent Bill of Rights. Its like the bible at our home. I believe that it really works when we have boundaries for ourselves.
I totally have the same bill
I totally have the same bill of rights. At first the skids would invade our bedroom, and even take showers in our bathroom. It drove me nuts to not have my own space. We have three others bathrooms for them to get ready in and we ave several other TV's. They do not have to hog mine with their silly kid TV. I set limits and now I'm happy. When they annoy me I escape to our bedroom and light a candle and watch TV or read. I put on our super loud humidifier too drown them out. Lol. Or I take a nice long bath with the fan on.
All I have to say is that if anyone took my stuff without my permission there would be hell to pay. I think I'm fair and give respect but I expect to earn it as well.
Love it! It's also a good
Love it! It's also a good way to gauge if you're truly with a supportive partner too.
I will print this out and
I will print this out and place it on our fridge. THANK YOU!
Dealing with a woman who
Dealing with a woman who thinks she can out rule a biological parent in all aspects of every situation where there is a joint custody order is very upsetting and confusing for the children.
Step-parents need to know when to back off and let the biological parents parent their children and stay out of matters not their concern.
Not matter what bill of rights they think they have.
Easy, killer^^^, no one said
Easy, killer^^^, no one said anything about "ruling out"; you just made that up. FYI, hardly ANY BF's "parent their children" and a number of BM's aren't even good at it.
Unless you are a step parent, you can't appreciate the position.
Thanks.