I have been in my step sons life for almost 6 years. At the beginning, my husband had partial custody. His ex wife abruptly remarried and took his son far away for 2 years. During that time we only had summer & Christmas. 
Once they moved closer in 2018, we started having my stepson every other weekend & summers. He was having difficulty at school. Every time I try to openly discuss an issue, my husband gets very defensive. It seems like he stops listening. I bring up things, because I care.

I feel that my husband becomes overly sensitive, and now he is trying to make up for the time that he lost. This results in every other weekend becoming a binge fest of junk food and video games. I'm expected to be pleasant and make no complaints. I don't even feel comfortable in the house, because I do not agree with this lifestyle.

I try to suggest a walk, disc golf, etc., but that becomes a drag. I suggest healthier meals, but jokes are cracked that I am too healthy. I'm not allowed to complain in the slightest. After a meal, they jet back to the tv. I politely ask them to clean up. I'm talking candy wrappers thrown on the floor, empty drink cups left. I don't expect hard core cleaning, because he's not always here, but I expect cleaning up after himself. However, I do feel an easy chore would make him more integral in the family.

I feel awful, but I dread when he's coming. I don't want to feel this way, and I do love my step son. I'm not really sure where to go from here. We do have a 10 month old, and my step son has had some tough issues recently because his mother and step father were going through turbulent times.

There are a lot of factors here. I really want to turn this around. I don't want to spend the weekend alone and not want to be in my own living room. Help!