Step mother to toddlers
Forums:
Step mother of toddlers
Is anybody in the same situation where the BM cannot wait to bomb the kids on us at every opportunity she gets- we have a very unusual custody agreement that I am positive every person who has half a brain would wonder who would do this to children...
I would like to discuss my situation with someone who is in a similar situation or feels like they also need to vent and relate to people in the same boat...
I used to be a toddler
I used to be a toddler stepmom. He’s six now and the only toddler around is my own. Also BM doesn’t have custody so our issue is the opposite—she never gives up any time. If there’s a holiday celebration, it’s too bad. A wedding? Psh I had mine mid week just to make sure he could be there. His birthday? Nope, have to plan that party during “our” time. I don’t have you’re problem per say but I do deal with a difficult BM and I hope it gets better for you. One silver-lining about being in at the toddler age, it seems the kids don’t question our right to be in their lives simply because they can’t remember a time without us after so long.
"One silver-lining about
"One silver-lining about being in at the toddler age, it seems the kids don’t question our right to be in their lives simply because they can’t remember a time without us after so long". Until they turn 8 and say "I wish my mommy and daddy get married and you and my step dad get married" and then pretend your "ours" child/ren and you don't exist until she has to be in our home and tolerate us. And then at roughly, 20, tells you that maybe her older half sibling doesn't like you because you stand in the way of her parents getting back together but really speaking about herself. And I met both SD's at age 3 and 11 months old.
At least that's my experience but I truley hope yours don't get to that point. I once had the same thoughts as you.
Ss at 3 was with us every day
Ss at 3 was with us every day from after day are to bedtime, 4 days a week (usually 5) and every weekend all weekend. Mom got the kid at 7:4pm each night...just in time to put him to bed at 8.... and would take him to daycare in the morning for 7, 7:15am.
BM had full custody. Yet...somehow, only saw ss a grand total of 7-10 hours a week.
Then I put my foot down and forced dh to make BM have ss that 1 night a week we'd generally get stuck getting him, and forced him to stick to keeping every second friday for us.
BM didn't seem to like that. Not soon after Dh told her enoigh was enougj and she needed to pkay mom....she had a mental snap and essentially ditched the kid here full time.
She's seen ss a handful of times since then... and there's an "informal temporary agreement" in place...but technically, bm still had full custody.
I'm starting to think I'm going to be calling the financial assistance program she's on and reporting.... haven't yet...but I REALLY REALLY want to.
I also have an unusual custody arrangement with my 3 kids. 50/50, no child support on either side... with a staggered schedule... on that there's never more than 2 out of 3 here at once (except for every 2nd weekend) and it rotates.
My SS is a toddler, and BM
My SS is a toddler, and BM wishes his father would disappear completely. Even getting the time on the court order is a battle as the wording is not specific enough. She calls and texts constantly questioning his safety. Tries to refuse to send him when he's sick since dad will obviously kill him....