Sooooo DONE
Just had a major confrontation with FH. He accused me of being drunk - as he always does being a recovering alcoholic when I have had even a SIP of anything - any that of course means that anything I say is meaningless.
I am so sick of his "holier than thou" bull shit. The issue is that SD14 is not to go to the Homecoming dance unless she is passing all of her classes and I said that I was sad that I did not have a bio or adopted daughter to share the Homecoming with even though I was totally involved with fixing SD14 up for her dance. I had previously told FH that I would not adopt a child with him because of the way that he raised his children.
He said that he was disciplining them and I contradicted him - then all hell broke loose. He totally freaked out and threatend to leave and go to a motel. I swear that I am so sick of this shit. He is so afraid of his children hating him that he runs after them literally panting. I love him but I just have lost all respect for him
Two questions: Are you
Two questions:
Are you drinking around him? If so, that could be really difficult for him and he's taking it out on you.
Why do you care about SD's grades and the dance? Let him parent his kid, and you enjoy your relationship with him. It sounds like your desire to "parent" his kid is what's causing problems for you.
Where do you get that I am
Where do you get that I am trying to "parent" his children from my post? I said that I was sad that - I - did not have a child of my own. He freaked out when I said that he was not disciplining them - not that I do or even attempt to. This has been an ongoing issue in that they receive very little in the way of guidance and discipline. If I was in fact attempting to parent them then they would be receiving it.
How long has he been on the
How long has he been on the wagon? Maybe he's stressed because he wants a drink?? Did all these things happen at the same time (the drinking/ saying you want to help her with homecoming/saying he doesn't discipline)?
Sounds to me like he got very defensive about something.
He has been clean for over 20
He has been clean for over 20 years. He always said that he had no problem with me drinking but recently he has been accusing me of being drunk whenever I have a drink. Sometimes he ever accuses me of being drunk when I have had nothing! The other day I was standing awkwardly and lost my balance - I am not exactly known for my grace.
He looked at me and said "Had a few today, huh?" Jerk.
Basically he (and his kids) can be in any mood they damned well please but if something is bothering me? Well, that is simply uncalled for and he'll "be damned if he is going to hang around to take my abuse!" Unreal.
Sounds like a perpetual
Sounds like a perpetual victim.
Yes, I have lost respect for SO when he seems to be following the skids around or kissing their a**
Hard to get smooshy romantic
Hard to get smooshy romantic feeling back at that point, huh? Christ I miss having a real man in my life! He used to be testosterone on freakin' fire (seriously - no exaggeration!) but that was before I saw him being pushed around by a bunch of kids. I guess perception really IS everything!
tell him to get stuffed.
tell him to get stuffed. Then pick up your o'nite bag...slip on down to the bar and have a decent few - hopefully with a couple of good friends...and get yourself really topped up....then stay out all night by relaxing in some comfortable hotel...tell him nothing....
make sure you turn your phone off and hide your car in the carpark....
Call him the next day to say you were off thinking of things and would like to come home - he will either be so grateful and sorry he has been such a prick to you, or he will tell you to go get stuffed
Ide be thinking there must be more to life than this shit.
Liks - I like the way you
Liks - I like the way you think!!!!
same shit here...If I had
same shit here...If I had ANYTHING to drink at all I'm drunk and unworthy of his respect and when we began 13 yrs. ago he would call up the bar I liked to go to and embarrass the shit out of me because he didn't want me in the bar...now that the little princess is almost 20 and works in a bar he goes to the bar to visit her claiming it's the only way he can see her. I hate the little bitch and she's been causing me grief since the beginning and I thought it would taper off but it has only gotten worse. Her and her slut mother have conspired against me and have even called child protection on me as an attack and one of my boys cannot walk or talk so this was an attack worthy of revenge but she was only 12 at the time so...she wasn't even forced to apologize and this was the single most humiliating event in my life. The authorities went to my disabled son's school and also to my other 2 boys' school and embarrassed the shit out of them as well ( the allegations were physical abuse so they had to "inspect" them ) She went to live with her piggish mother at that time for her own protection but as my miserable fate would have it she was back in 3 yrs. when drug addict hooker mom couldn't hack it anymore. When she came back to live at our house she conducted herself just like momma and my poor sons had to go to school with her and hear all about her disgusting sex adventures from all their buddies of course...and daddy turned the usual blind eye to her ways that needed correction. Let me add that the call to child protection was placed in retaliation for me forcing her to limit her aol buddy list to 14 from over 150 including usernames that were x-rated and could've been perverts. I only allowed my own kids 14 contacts and I had to know who they all were so I was only making her follow the same rules mine had to follow but because she felt me and my kids were beneath her and big daddy in the pecking order she felt I was overstepping...her dad has treated her that way so he's just as much to blame for the damage that has been done to me and my kids. I'm to a point where I can hardly stand the sight of my husband whom I used to love with all my heart , all I see is the heartache that their unhealthy "bond" has caused. I needed a man to be there for ME , I've had a rough road taking care of my son and these two freaks have made my already stressful life so much harder and now I just want out and say to that little bitch "he's all yours now, good luck to the both of you sorry assholes" oh...and I strongly concur about the marriage thing. I should have never married this one and I'm the one who wanted to get married...go figure I guess I thought being married would change my status of being beneath her but it didn't, he'll always put her first and he acts like a pussy whipped schoolboy over her and treats me like I'm a subordinate of his. He's gonna be soo lonely when I'm gone boo fucking hoo the plans are in motion !!!!
Totally with you. Hell, all
Totally with you. Hell, all I have to do is trip or move in an awkward way and now I am accussed to being drunk! Pretty sure if I were to bail he would have company though. His girls are pretty normal but the boy is another species entirely. He will be living in one of his parent's basements for the rest of his life with potato chip crumbs falling onto his keyboard and Mountain Dew dribbling out of his mouth. Not to mention the piss stained mattress! Since he is still wetting the bed at 16 it seems unlikely that it is even going to stop.
you say he is a recovering
you say he is a recovering alcoholic- what did he do to get clean? i see it was over 20 years ago- but alcoholics have A LOT of problems and personality traits that lead them to that addiction. if he didn't get intensive therapy or isn't in therapy now then i suggest you do that. also, does he (or has he ever) attend AA meetings? i know alcoholics who have attended them every week for 30 years to stay sober and learn coping skills. it is a constant fight and struggle to stay sober- whether he tells you that or not.
i suggest you do a lot research on alcoholics- it may help you figure out why he is the way he is, if you can handle it and if you can, what you can do to support him and vice versa.
He would absolutely FREAK if
He would absolutely FREAK if he knew I thought this way but I never really thought that he was an alcoholic. He was a stupid college boy who drank way too much and had 2 DUIs by 21. I met him literally weeks after the second DUI. He had quit drinking immediately and never had another drop. Part of his punishment was to go to rehab (after almost 6 months of self-sobriety with no backsliding) and they got their hooks into him. Convinced him that he was an alcoholic and addict and that he needed to turn his life over to The Program. He essentially became a zombie for them, would make no decision without consulting his sponsor and, although he loved me very much, dumped me to marry "the nice girl who would give him the white picket fence life." Gee, wonder why he was miserable? Fast forward 20 years and he now FINALLY realized that he can break free of THAT stupid mistake (after a year and a half of waffling and gnashing of teeth!)
However, he absorbed the "message" completely. No matter that most addicts need more than one rehab to get clean but that was all he needed, that he was totally clean BEFORE he went into rehab, and that he was no worse than almost every other idiot college boy in the 80's who went on to have perfectly productive lives. No - he is an addict who has seen the light and sits in judgment of all us mere mortals. All hail the perfect one!!!!!