I attend all of Skids school functions. SD8's BM is only around every once in awhile. I don't even know if BM knows what school SD8 attends. I go to parent teacher conferences for SD8 and most of the time I go without DH because he is usually working. I am always in contact with SD8s teachers and principal. I see absolutely no problem with it. BM is not around and yes, I am raising her daughter.

Totally appropriate. I was very involved with my skids elementary school. I was there everyday and on first name basis with both their teachers. Some didn't know I was step mom and not mom (my skids call me mom) and some knew and didn't care. They just care about someone showing an interest in the child and being able to work with them. I had one teacher falling all over herself with praise when she found out I wasnt ss's real mom...about how great I was with him and how she wishes her others students actual parents cared as much about their children as I did with SS. I actually started to cry, as that was the only praise I've ever gotten for all that I do for those kids.

But bottom.line....so long as you want to be there, you should feel free to be involved in his schooling.

Totally appropriate. I was very involved with my skids elementary school. I was there everyday and on first name basis with both their teachers. Some didn't know I was step mom and not mom (my skids call me mom) and some knew and didn't care. They just care about someone showing an interest in the child and being able to work with them. I had one teacher falling all over herself with praise when she found out I wasnt ss's real mom...about how great I was with him and how she wishes her others students actual parents cared as much about their children as I did with SS. I actually started to cry, as that was the only praise I've ever gotten for all that I do for those kids.

But bottom.line....so long as you want to be there, you should feel free to be involved in his schooling.

I was/am a custodial step that did the primary care giving for my two SSs. I went to all teacher meetings, school functions, extra curriculars, I was Booster Club presidents, etc. If BM isn't someone has to step in and pick up her slack, kudos to you for doing that.

I think it would be great if you would go and support him as much as you can. It sounds like this kid totally adores you and you have been by his side, keep up the work!

DH may have to sign some papers to allow you to pick up/drop off your SS and what not at the beginning of each school year.

I use to go to conferences with my neighbor boy and his mom, the school workers actually liked knowing who this kid was associated with.

I've gone because DH wanted me there. The skids are with us 50 percent of the time, so I feel I should know what's going on. If BM didn't have a separate conference and they all had to meet together, then no, I wouldn't go.

My nephew lived with me in the first grade while his mother and father rotated visitation in my home. I went to the school. somebody should.

BM isn't in the picture here,and I do all of those school things. However, once you become involved, they (school & DH) expect you to deal with everything. I can't get DH to step his foot in that school. And, because the school s used to dealing with me, they call me for everything. SS gets in all sorts of trouble now and I have the school calling 3-4 times a week. Maybe it's best to do field trips and open house and leave the conferences to DH. You will seem interested, but you will be setting him up to deal with all the actual meetings and discussions.

If BM isn't in the picture, and you're not creating unnecessary strain on the skids by showing up, then go for it. I think it's great when stepparents find themselves in situations where they can really make a difference for their skids. Good for you

ONLY if one or the other parents is not in the picture. If both bio mom bio dad are in the picture then a step parent should not be involved.

In your situation, if you wish to, then yes.

I'm a teacher, so naturally, I want to be included in Skids education. I've been working with SS12 to help him catch up. Both kids are in new districts since BM's last move. BM hated me coming at first. She felt like she had to prove that her being a mom meant she knew more about teaching that I did, if that makes sense? When SS12 needed help in math and BM was struggling to remember how to do long division, she gladly accepted my help and now will ask that I attend all conferences involving SS12. She still thinks that I don't need to attend SD8's conferences. There's never been any issues with me attending other school functions.

DH has always been welcome to attend anything as DS9's school. xH is a little too eager to share his parenting load.

Step moms are a step PARENT and it is after all a PARENT teacher conferece. Is there really any question of StepMom and or StepDad going?

I never missed one for my own son (SS) for his entire school career.

IMHO of course.

I think since you are basically the mother figure to skid, you should go (if you want to, of course- you shouldn't feel like you have to). I am in the same boat because SD5 is starting kindergarten this year and I am wondering whether or not I should attend the open house with DH. BM is in the picture in our situation, though (she's a complete piece of trash but she's around nonetheless). I know she will be furious to see me at an open house for "HER DAUGHTER" as she likes to say.

But in your situation, I say go for it!