You are here

sex drive, anyone?

starfish1012's picture

Submitted by starfish1012 on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 6:00pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

Sad

well, if it's not the constant thought of BM, it's SS4's tantrums, if it's not another missed CS check, it's DH's mother calling constantly asking if she can borrow potatoes and cheese (really?), and if it's not preparing for another court hearing or visitation, it's because i'm too exhausted from all the above to have a

SEX DRIVE!!!

i'm starting to feel guilty (and frustrated!) that i'm not randy anymore. any advice? how do you reconnect with all the baby momma drama, etc. etc. etc.?

FallingfromGrace's picture

Submitted by FallingfromGrace on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 6:14pm

Things are improving...slowly...but I know the more I watch my DH submit to his ex and fail to show any backbone...the less I am attracted to him.

If he cant stand up for me and our family...is he really a man I want to sleep with? Sometimes...I have to try to keep those thoughts out of my head...LOL!

Sorry, I guess that really isn't much help...but I know where you are coming from...

Lovepets's picture

Submitted by Lovepets on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 6:23pm

Can I suggest getting yourself in the mood with a personal fantasy? It has really worked for me! When I am tired of thinking about my future DH as a spineless wimp, I fantasize that he is Conan the man who whips BM into shape Blum 3 ridiculous but it helps, then when I tell future DH about what he does/how he is so strong and supportive in my fantasy he is tougher and stronger with BM for a few days. Then it is back to fantasy land and hmmmm who will he be tonight??? Wink

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 8:09pm

hi starfish 1012 - I hear you, we ALL hear you.

I agree with the person above that mentioned when her DH submits to his exW and doesn't show any backbone, she finds herself turned off. I used to feel the EXACT same way when my BF used to do that with his exW/BM - ugh!!!

There's just something TOTALLY UNAPPEALING about seeing YOUR MAN act like a wimp. ESPECIALLY.ANYTHING.INVOLVING.HIS.EX!!

It's difficult to find your sex drive when you're so busy trying to "dodge the bullets" of all this craziness we call stepparenting - BMs, skids, guilty daddy BF's/DH's, CS$$ flying out the window...the list goes on and on and on.

"Now where did I put those [socks], [shoes], [sex drive]??" Still looking for mine...lol

Also, in my situation, I find that when my BF puts on weight, most of it goes to his stomach (looks like a beer belly) - I personally get a little grossed out by that. I mean, c'mon, what woman WOULDN'T want her man to have six-pack abs??? Yeah, the "beer belly" look really doesn't do much to help me find my sex drive.

Maybe I left it in laundry basket downstairs or in the dishwasher when I was cleaning the kitchen...lol. Wink

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 07/16/2010 - 9:06pm

Though sex while driving sounds interesting I don't recommend it from a safety perspective. Wink

Now, back in my college days I actually had sex well driving several times....... and I lived to tell about it.

As far as our sex drive ..... my wife and I see a major increase in libido when SS is off at school or on visitation.

Best regards.

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Sat, 07/17/2010 - 10:02am

I am sooooooooo glad it's not just me!!!!

Somehow, seeing the man who pulled me in with his He-Man-like appeal go from superhero to pushover, scaredy-cat wuss just totally diminishes my drive....and I've even tried to explain to him that if he acts more like a MAN with his ex, his mom, and SKs, things would be A LOT hotter in the bedroom!