SD's Upcoming Wedding - So Not Looking Forward to It

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Will be here in a few days and am NOT looking forward to it. After her and her daddy had their blowout last week and she told him he was a horrible parent who made everyone miserable..and she wasn't going to allow him to see his newly born grandson again...I get to watch them walk down the aisle together like a loving father/daughter.

It's such a farce.

They have barely talked for days now and somehow they are walking the aisle together. She would make the most sane person question their sanity.

And for the MOST outrageous idea of the century..she wants me to meet her and her mother at the beauty salon the day of the wedding to get our hair and nails done...yee haw!! I do NOT think so. What ever has possessed this manipulative brat to come up with that concoction is ridiculous. I know it's being done for a purpose..for me to say NO so that I can once again be talked about.

And do I really care? Hell no! No one in my DH's family would EVER meet that woman in a beauty salon..much less any public place for fear anyone know they were once related to her.

The expectations out of me are to sit thru a rehearsal dinner with her mother the night before..the beauty salon the next day...the wedding..then the reception where I can guarantee you that SD will do anything she can to bring her parents together because it will be at an occasion where "I" will look like an idiot if I say a word.

I truly do NOT want to go to this rehearsal dinner..I am not even in the wedding. I plan on going to the wedding and staying for the reception for a little while..that's it.

I don't know if SD has fully realized how hurtful she has become towards my DH and I. First I get told I'm the person that stole her father away and she's told lies on me to get members of my DH's family to possibly not like me..then she blasts into my DH last week with threats of all sorts of shit.

So why in the hell does the fool think I'm gonna hang out with her ALL freaking weekend just because she's getting married?? I'd truly much rather sit thru 3 root canals than to attend ANYTHING that pertains to her at this point in my life. I'm only going for my DH..and that's the only reason. If it weren't for him, I would not be going period.

I'm just sick of watching everyone play her game..KNOWING she's the way she is..but ignoring it and playing nice to her. Then talking about her behind her back..sickening. I wasn't raised that way and I'm not acting like it. If I know you don't like me...don't expect me to kiss your ass 'cause it ain't happening!

Thoughts?

NewBeginning - Yes, my

NewBeginning - Yes, my thought is that everyone is playing the game because it's her wedding. And I have to say - to me, that's okay.

I know a ton of families fraught with drama. And the general consensus of it is - don't bring drama to the wedding.

It's just one of those things. I know a lot of people on here will disagree with me, but this is the way I'm looking at it...

I completely dislike BM. I have to come to almost feel that I "hate" her, and I have never hated anyone in my life before. Someday SD here will get married, and I am going to suck up and play nice with BM and her family because of SD.

You aren't gong to the wedding FOR SD. You are going FOR YOUR HUSBAND. And you are going to help him have the wedding for his daughter that he always hoped it would be. Don't you think that as a father, he had some hopes about what his daughter's wedding would be? Drama-free, and happy for all. Just give that to him. Don't engage. Don't put yourself in a position where you feel put-upon or too fake, but don't sulk or act like it's "all a farce". Put the gloves back on tomorrow.

I don't care if anyone else here tells you that you shouldn't have to do this or that or blah blah blah. Go have a great time - IGNORE ALL THE DRAMA and have a great time with your husband. The best revenge is living well, and enjoying your man.

Stick - I enjoy your point of

Stick - I enjoy your point of view. And I understand it and wish it would be this way.

And it COULD be this way if I knew SD and her mother were not so intent on showing themselves as they have done from day 1. In the past..when I first met DH..I used to think it was just his ex wife that was maniacal. I really did. As the weeks and months went by, I saw that SD was right in there with her mother..dramas, lies, deceptions...all of it. And the more people they hurt, the better they felt about themselves.

I'm sure my DH had high hopes for his daughter. He truly did. But she has shown him time and again she's become her mother. She's become the very person he had to divorce to exclude from his life.

So how do you exclude a daughter who acts the same way?

You can't..she's your child.

But - you CANNOT accept their behavior as being okay because of that fact. It's enabling them to do it because they are your flesh and blood. He's done that her entire teenage life..and now that's she's a grown woman with a child and is getting married...it's time to stop it. And it's time for him to grow some balls and make her aware of it. Make her aware that he loves her no matter what...BUT...her behavior is no longer acceptable. The lies and drama has to stop so she can be taken seriously as an adult.

She expects us all to sit in wonderment at her wedding...but most in attendance has faced her wrath at one point or another. And for very silly made up dramas. And most of the family is hesitant in having much to do with her. My DH's sister is saying she's not coming because of the dramas created by SD and her mother...his own sister.

I truly wish I could walk into this wedding with a genuine smile on my face for this girl and her soon to be husband. But even HE is saying he does not trust her and is feeling she is talking to other men behind his back. Says that he feels she is being sneaky with him. She cheated on the guy she was with to be with her fiance so what would stop her suddenly now?

I think this is why I've come to the conclusion I am no longer going to chase this girl or 'try' to understand her because I believe that once I would get close to feeling her out, she would amaze me again with another shocking lie. I cannot live my life trying to wonder what she is saying to me is true. I sat and watched her last weekend sit right across from my DH and tell him 3 huge lies in a row..and never batted an eyelash. 3 very hurtful lies. When he called her out on it, that ensued a huge fight from her which caused her to tell him he was horrible and he could never see his grandchild again.

It's dramas such as this that make me not want anything to do with special occasions with this girl because I know there is so much falseness beneath them. It's times like last weekend that help me see just what this family has had to deal with from SD and her mother for so long.

I'll go to this wedding with my DH and hope to have a good time. And I hope it all turns out well for everyone. Those from his family that are going do not intend to stay very long due to they don't want to be around the BM and her family and I have to say I don't blame them. My intention is to take 2 cars so if my DH wants to stay all day..he's so entitled.

Gonna be interesting - to say the least.
Thanks Stick!

Thanks NewBeginning!! I

Thanks NewBeginning!! I think you guys are really doing all you can do. Go along with the charade, and then lay down the reality AFTER. There will be plenty of opportunity, unfortunately. The holidays ARE coming up!! (gag) And I think taking two cars is a fantastic idea. Although, I really hope that you and your husband can go together and leave together.

Please let us know how it goes. And hey! IF it gets really upsetting, have a few drinks for the girls and Steptalk. As a matter of fact, take an Itouch or Iphone or another small mobile internet device and give us a play by play!! hahahaah! We'll help you through it!

Good idea! A few drinks to

Good idea! A few drinks to carry me thru this mess!

And the holidays...was just thinking that very thing. DH has other grandkids and SD has already made it known that her son is the front and foremost of all the kids...THAT is going to be very interesting because each grandchild is special to DH and me as well. No playing favorites for us here..thank you very much!

I expect I'll be here for a while this week...the wedding is soon...God help me! :sick:

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