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SD15 (whom i believe tried to poison me) wants to be here on my birthday!

Someoneelse's picture

My birthday is this weekend... yay! I'l be 37! And it's an sd free weekend! Or so i think! DH just called me to inform me that sd already convinced BM to allow sd to switch weekends, since this is my birthday weekend! Aww how sweet.... NOT! Im sure DH sensed the hesitation in my voice.... i said,  "ohhh, because it's my birthday, how sweet." 

I get that sd thinks i like her, i really try my hardest to be nice... but seriously, last time she was here she tried to poison me! The time before that she faked having a sprang ankle, blaming it on my daughter, saying she sat on it, when she's the one that shoved it under her... i don't like sd, she's a friggen bad egg. And you know what Willy Wonka would do! (Too much tik tok lol) but seriously she's rude, hateful, conniving, malicious, narcissistic, manipulative... no redeeming qualities, what so ever.  Whyyyyyy would i want her here? 

JRI's picture

Don't let her bring the cake! 

Someoneelse's picture

OMG i literally spat out my water laughing so hard at this! No, i make my own cake. This year i was planning a lavendar cake with lemon drizzle.  (Recently i have gotten into baking with edible flowers)  she hated my lavender shortbread, I'm sure she's going to hate this as well!  Ha ha! I planned this over a week ago lmao!

tog redux's picture

OP, if you genuinely believe your SD tried to kill you, why would you not talk to your DH about that?

Someoneelse's picture

He thinks that maybe it was already defected our that she accidentally popped it. I already mentioned it to him. I have no proof that it was intentional, but

#1 she was pissed at me all week because i was picking things for the bathroom she didn't like

#2 she's never tried to poison anyone before, but she's destroyed property,  she's stolen, she's intentionally hurts people.

Do i think she thought it would kill me? Maybe.

Do i think she thought it would make me sick? Definitely!

Do i think she did it on purpose?  Definitely!

tog redux's picture

That's enough, right there. He needs to know, and HEAR, that his wife is afraid of his child trying to harm her. If he gets defensive, keep at him. You should not have to live like that. 

I don't think I'd stay in a marriage where I thought my skid meant me harm and my DH poo-pooed that. 

Rags's picture

End of discussion.

Inform DH that SD is not welcome for your birthday then if he whines about it... give him the full list of why.  Lies, poison attempts, etc...

If SD shows up anyway, just leave and go check  yourself into the nicest hotel/spa available and stay for a long weekend. Let DH explain your absence to everyone with the clear direction that he had better tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth because you will follow up with each and every person invited for your birthday celebration.

Just no.

Survivingstephell's picture

You need to go bullistic this year and make it count.  Geesh, we get one day a year to celebrate ourselves and DH needs to understand that on that day you get what you want.   It's too bad you are married to a spineless man who didn't make arrangements to whisk you off for a great surprise.  Instead he has his daughter over.  
 

I made it perfectly clear to my ex and DH that even if we are in agreement that we are forgoing presents this year, it's my day and don't forget the card.  They never made that mistake again.   You train them how to treat you and rolling over and playing nice gets you nothing you want.  

Powerfamily's picture

If I remember correctly she had a headache and SD got her some ibuprofen gel capsules and 1 split open.

nappisan's picture

You dont have to tell your husband that you dont like his child,, tell him you dont like her behaviour instead.  Tell him NO! its your Bday and you want to enjoy it with him or doing whatever the hell you want to do 

Rags's picture

Exactly this.

I have always maintained that the most effective way to address relationship issues is to focus on behaviors rather than broad brush attacks about not liking Skids, Xs, the blended family opposition, etc...

It does not matter if we like them or not. What matters is their behavior. If it is reasonable that is about the best we can ask for. If it is not reasonable, it needs to  be confronted and destroyed.  

Your child is disrespectful, manipulative and I will not tolerate that in my life. You and I must set and enforce the behavioral standards in our home for all the kids regardless of kid biology." ..... goes over far better than "Your kid is a dick and I hate him/her."

Focus on and address behaviors.

DPW's picture

I need you to be rational here... why would SD poison you with an Advil Gel Cap when they are safe to ingest? Intentionally or accidentally popping the cap in your mouth does not poison you. Might taste like ca-ca but I'm not sure how you get to poisoning attempt from this. 

Someoneelse's picture

I know this, but sd isn't the smartest. Also, its meant to dissolve at a certain point in your body and can burn your esophagus... it wouldn't kill me, but does hurt, can make you hurt.  Could that alone been her intention? I don't know. But the fact that im sure she did it intentionally is enough for me.... and still considered poisoning. 

She has intentionally hurt me several times before. Dio is it far fetched?  The fact that she was pissed that i had picking out all decorations for the bathroom that she wanted to pick out everything for, the fact that i didn't believe her ankle was hurt (because i saw her walking perfectly fine), 

Sandybeaches's picture

First I looked at your other post as,  if SD is trying to poison I wanted to read the story.  

Any medication that is in a pill that is on the market that you can take is not going to kill you.  While it may not enter your bloodstream correctly to be utilized as needed it wouldn't kill you. 

Now I bring this up because, you thinking that she was trying to poison you is the issue.  I am not saying she wasn't or that she wasn't trying to make you sick maybe she was but the real issue is you think she was and that is why it is very unhealthy for you not to speak up.  This is your home and your life and you can't go on living in a situation where you feel unsafe around her.  It will not go away.  You have to have a sit down with your DH and explain how you feel.  

In your eyes how do you see this going?  In other words how do you see this situation changing if you don't speak up?  Where will it all be in 5 years?  Say 10 years?  She is his daughter and never going away so you are going to have to say something.  

Someoneelse's picture

That's what I'm saying.  I don't think that her popping that gel capsule was going to kill me, but i %100 believe theat her intention was to poison me. Im going to really watch everything... she even OFFERED to make the cake for me, i told her politely, no thanks, i got it, and smiled.... i think im going to just pick up and leave this weekend. 

shellpell's picture

Yes, LEAVE! Your DH can't just say SD's going to be here without clearing it with you first! And if you say no, the answer is no.

Sandybeaches's picture

And I wanted to make that clear to you!!  It is not what she did it is what you believe she was doing that makes it something you need to bring up to your DH!!! You should not have to live like that!!  

Thank God she is not making the cake!  Don't ever let her around anything you would eat!  Because of the severity of this you need to talk to your DH and if you can not be protected get out of there!!