I am new here. I am basically writing this post to vent as I have disengaged from my SD(21) several years ago. It's easier to disengage when they no longer live with you. She came to live with us when she was 16. She was very destructive. She was and still is a messy person and will never clean up any of her messes. I would come home from work and the bread, milk, mayo and ketchup would be on the kitchen counter and her messy dishes in the living room. You could not tell she had carpet in her bedroom from all her stuff scattered everywhere. I would come home to her using my makeup and having nail polish all over the bathroom cabinets, mascara on the floor and walls and my vanity chair broken. My dh would never say anything to her. I am not the parent and felt DH should have been the one to lay the rules down to the SD. He never would. She would lie about EVERYTHING....things that don't even matter. DH knew she lies and always defended her on everything. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. I would sit on the porch outside by myself from the time I got off work til I went to bed just to avoid her. Anything I said would get turned into this big lie so I never spoke around her unless I had a witness as to what was said. She is always the victim in everything and blows everything out of apportion....hence the drama queen. She is in college going for her RN degree. She will be graduating this month as a LPN and will be continuing her college to get her RN. I had booked our vacation in Feb and will be gone the week she is graduating. DH told her he would try his best to be there but could not guarantee it. She has pitched a tantrum and then some. She has refused to answer any calls or texts and has also deleted DH off her FB. He's been trying to let her know that he is coming to her graduation. SD finds out from SS that DH is cutting his vacation short to come to her graduation. SD is now mad that DH is coming to graduation and wants to know WHY he is coming. You can't win for losing with her. I feel so sorry for DH for the way SD is treating him. SD has told everyone how sorry her dad is for not coming....again....to play the victim and have everyone feel sorry for her. There are so many stories I could be telling, but I keep telling myself....not my kids....not my problem. UUGGHH!!!