Looking for some advice yet again! I have been having problems with my SD behaviour for a while now and i'm actually concerened that this runs deeper than just naughtiness. At first she came across as just wanting it all her own way, whinning lots at meal times or whenever she got frustrated because my daughter didnt want to play. Me and my partner have been clashing over it with him feeding into her tantrums with attention because he feels guilty. I spoke to him about it it and he has been brilliant since, which has led to us being able to team up so she can't get away with stuff. However, over the last few weeks SD has started to act withdrawn and constantly crying when food comes out and looks quite frankly depressed. She is only 8. She has told us she misses mummy. I think this is completly understanderble but she looks worrying forelorned and i think she is lossing weight. We spoke with her about meal times and she said that BM had told her to ask for smaller portions when she is with us. I already give her a smaller portion and if i reduce it further she will not be getting enough food to sustain her and to be healthy. When i put food in front of her she picks and then cries unless its a cheese sandwich. We spoke to BM and she said she doesnt have a problem her end with eating but SD says she has the same problem at home. If i ask her what mummy does to help she says she doesnt know and gets distressed. a few months ago she was eating new things and would say to me that my food is better than mummys! I would respond with i'm sure mummys is lovely too and she would go quiet. I'm worried that something underhand is going on at home and mum is making her feel bad about liking my food or trying things for me. I say this because a few weeks back she tried sausages with me for the fisrt time ( I'm shocked by the foods she hasnt heard of)  She loved them so i told her i would make toad in the hole for her next week. When she came she said mummy had made it in the week for her. She was also coming happily and often wanting to stay an extra night, now she is saying she doesnt wan to sleep. We went to court for access and she was supposed to stay 3 nights a fortnight but mum said she felt it was too much for her and asked if we could reduce and build up to it. We agreed as we didnt want sd to struggle, then bm said could she come home early on the sunday  . We thought it was to have her bath at home for school the next day so asked what time and she said sunday morning. So we said no. Now SD is saying she thinks 2 nights is too much for her as she misses mummy. Then this week we got a message from BM saying SD  wants to see us but not sleep. My partner had voiced his concerns to BM about all of this and asked her if she has told sd to ask for smaller portions and BM cherry picks what she will respond to. Said she isnt worried about sd eating and she is sorry to hear we are having problems!  My partner and i have had a fall out today because i feel anxious as SD is coming tomorrow and i am worried about what it will bring. I feel my partner should seek professional advice as we have already been to court and i felt then we were dealing with parent alienation. My partner has alread had the most absured accusations thrown at him with social services involvement and was all found to be bullshit. I'm worried BM will flip things on us and make more accusations due to SD acting withdrawn here and BM saying she has no problems at home. Which i feel is untrue. I'm so tired of living on eggshells not knowing whats going to happen next or how SD will be at the weekend. Could SD be baheaving like this intentionally because we have put our foot down? I'm pretty good at sussing people out and to me she looks very unhappy and conflicted. Could this be enmeshment between BD and SD? Is BM acting the saviour and making SD victim. I'm so confused but can't help thinking i'm starting to become aware of stuff but can't put my finger on whats going on.  I've written this so fast i havent checked spelling and grammar or anything! Sorry!