Question about brother in law and his kids
Hi Everyone,
I am looking for advice. My brother in law is educated and talented in many things, such as photography, sailing, etc. However, he lets his boys run wild. Normally I feel it is none of my business because that's his choice. However, the other day they were waiting at our home for us to come home from work. The youngest fed my dogs. The problem with this is one of my dog can't eat just anything and is on a restricted diet so this was a huge concern that caused a massive problem for me. Thank God he was only mildly bloated and he is fine now but this could have been a horrible mistake. My husband's son (my stepson) was home but I don't feel it's his responsibility to prevent his cousins from acting wild. It's practically impossible anyway.
What advice does anyone offer? How can I handle this so it never happens again? Please no insults it's not productive. One option is to just leave but I am really hoping for a solution. Is there a way to discuss my concerns without coming off as judgmental and offensive? Is there a way to lock the food up? I don't want to look insane but I really can't risk my dogs health. One idea was to create a fence around their kennels for when outside and lock the doors when they are inside but no one locks doors here. And I'm worried they'd climb the fence. Ugh so much goes through my mind. I just want to never have to worry again.
also, I'm from New England and I've never had to deal with on my life. Where I'm from people respect each other's property. Is this common for Midwest Ohio? Is this just how people are? It just seems others he's around, their kids are kinda wild, too. At our wedding one small child was stealing coins and things from people's vehicles like it was so adorable and I was just appalled but didn't want to be the grump, especially since it was my wedding. The wedding was at a park and the child wasn't far from people but I still found it ridiculous. Again, am I the one that weird for thinking children should not go touching other people's stuff? Or is this a regional thing where people kinda think of everything as collective?
Im From Ohio
I am originally from Northeast Ohio and I do not know of anyone in my circles that would go for that.
I am not sure what to do about the dogs. I am sure someone here will have a good solution.
Does your DH feel the same way?
Does your DH feel the same way? If so, can he address it with his brother? If not, you are going to have to figure out a way to protect your dogs from these kids. Are they often at your house when you are not there? Is it possible to keep that from happening?
No, I don't think this is a regional thing. I think it is more of a "family" thing. Different families have different levels of familiarity.
I would explain the dog's
I would explain the dog's health problems and let BIL know that his boys have no need to feed your dogs and if they do and there is a vet visit that he will be paying for it. Be firm on it, small claims court , whatever. You most certainly don't want the dog to die and have that hanging over BIL's head. Now if the in-laws are a bunch of low IQ knuckle dragging cavemen, I'd lock up the dogs. Really depends on the IQ and whether DH has your back when it comes to his family on how you handle it.
Scumbag is not a regional classification. And children qualify.
Set standards of behavior for them and enforce those standards. Bare the asses of the idiot parents that tolerate and propagate that crap by enforcing your standards on their children when they are in your home or even in your presence. The parents make sure their crap parenting does not impact your live or pets, or... their "pets" get their noses rubbed in the stenchy spots they leave on the carpet of their own behaviors.
Lather.... rinse... repeat.
It is ok to tell the boys
It is ok to tell the boys that they were wrong, that they risked the dogs health and not to do it again.
I will parent any child that is in my home. I don't care if it is my kids friends, nieces/nephews, neighbors, whatever. I don't care if their parents are in my house. If the child is not acting properly, I will correct them. I will tell them to go sit down and think about what they did. I will say no. I will say knock it off. I will kick them outside.
It's my house, if their parents don't like it, raise them better or don't bring them over!
What usually happens is the parents get embarrassed that someone else is parenting their kid and they step up.
Bravo
Parent the kids
I see it as more dictating what happens in my home. Doesnt matter the age, what I say goes.
For example, Husbands friend Barnacle Buddy, when he would come over, he would stand in the doorway, and allow the dog who likes to bolt to come to doorway for the greetings.
I would ALWAYS tell him "dont do that, he will run and we cannot catch him" (yeah, forget about the whole training question Husband doesnt "do that")
SO guess what happened? Dog bolted one day, ran off and we didnt see him for an entire week.
Barnacle friend doesnt do that any anymore, as you can guess, and he got an earful from me.
Our giant dog has a very
Our giant dog has a very strict feeding routine. She thinks that those who feed her by hand are her b*tches. Too bad your dog isn't like her. She will snarl at guests that hand feed and scare the crap out of them. You could tell the kids that the dog may bite them if they keep feeding it.