Overthinking pick ups/drop offs :(
BM sent an email saying her bf would be dropping skids off at normal location/time today since she has to work. She also said that she has to work Sunday and she will pick the kids up from DH's home as soon as she gets off. She didn't provide a time (we know it's 8pm).
DH replied saying drop off at normal time/location tonight is fine. Didn't address Sunday.
She replied, "What about Sunday?".
Thing is .. if he says it's okay, it's at least 9pm before she gets there, then another 45 minutes home. So 10pm at the earliest skids get to bed when their normal bedtime is 7:30. Not to mention, it invites BM to our doorstep yet again.
He wants to wait until he has kids in the car to send a response saying that if she cannot pick arrange pick up prior to 7pm, he'll take the skids to school Monday morning. If he sends it before he has the skids, she will withhold them tonight until she gets off work .. so we won't get them until probably 10pm tonight. Custody order doesn't address pick up times/locations .. that was all part of the change order she trashed.
I completely acknowledge that
I completely acknowledge that the PAS, court filing, and other drama have my brain in overdrive right now .. I'm likely overthinking the whole thing
It's actually kind of funny.
It's actually kind of funny. He was always a little hesitant to make the order that specific because, as law enforcement, his schedule changes a lot and he was worried BM would make life hell on him if he needed to switch or move times.
But it turns out, he's never had a problem making a pick up or drop off. It's always BM with the work conflicts. She makes less switches than she attends.
DH is dealing with a similar
DH is dealing with a similar situation I think. BM just lost her fight to force DH into 50/50. Now, DH attorney is getting these "requests" to change final order to "change pick up and drop off to DH home and BM home" and to "remove the stipulation that if BM moves from our county or contiguous counties that DH is no longer bound and can move outside of the county/contiguous counties".
Original temp orders have pick up/drop off at BM parents home for BM, because that's where she claimed to be living when we found out she was living in a motel and at DH parents home, because neither I nor DH wanted BM at our hone after her one unannounced visit.
Anyway, I told DH it sounds like BM is trying to move pretty soon and pretty far, but she wants to keep DH on a short leash and force him into having to do extra just because of it. Why else would she want DH to have to remain bound to a particular even if she moves outside of said area?
DH is hesitant, just like your DH though because he says "well what if we move and its no longer convenient to drop off at my parents or her parents" he feels BM will make life hell if he sticks to this so strongly now.
I say he's got good reason to stand his ground, if BM wants to move 40 miles or more away, I don't want yet another thing on the list of restrictions that BM has put on my life.
Yeah, he's a pretty smart guy
Yeah, he's a pretty smart guy
SMof2girls, I love reading
SMof2girls, I love reading your threads/blogs. You guys are definitely dealing with a crazy high-conflict stressful BM, but you both handle things really well! Your DH puts HIS r/s with the girls before BM, unlike so many other men here (including my SO). Without a doubt, BM will continue to throw road blocks up in an attempt to play power games, but your DH has up some pretty strong boundaries, kudos to him, he sounds like a wonderful husband and father who has his priorities in the right order
And thank you for sharing your stories, it's good to see things being done the 'right' way re BM antics.
Thank you! He does try so
Thank you! He does try so hard to maintain boundaries, which just gets harder and harder with change orders and court dates in the mix. It's uncanny how BM has this way of taking DH's refusal to give up his parenting time and twist into him somehow being a lacking parent. She really makes me sick ..
Our SO's are very similar..
Our SO's are very similar.. you have every right to think what you are and that is exactly what DBF would do! Hope she does not relentlessly nag him or force him to answer before drop off... Above all enjoy the time with the skids.
He got the kids on time
He got the kids on time Friday evening and sent the email.
BM is now saying she is picking skids up after work, and is not taking no for an answer. DH has her on radio silence for now; he's said his piece so we'll see what she actually ends up doing.