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SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 6:41pm

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Idk how to deal. With my feelings. But while sd was holding my dd my anxiety went thru the roof! And I don't usually have issues with anxiety. I don't want her holdi g my dd I'm sorry. She is not my dh daughter

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 6:45pm

Wait a minute...has a DNA test been done to confirm this?

Nobody's trying to bash you. What I am trying to say is that it's unhealthy for a child to be surrounded by so much hate for things that aren't her fault, and it's unhealthy for you to carry all that hate around. Maybe you could benefit from counseling to help you work through it.

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 6:52pm

I recently started seeing one. I'm aware of my feelings and try telling myself to chill but in the moment when something gets to me I can't filter the feeling. And I may have these feelings but I've never and will never show or act on them in front of sd

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:05pm

I'm guessing that she knows. Kids usually do. You may try to hide it, but they see through it.

Flipchip2013's picture

Submitted by Flipchip2013 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:27pm

I don't understand having an anxiety attack over seeing your husband's daughter holding her sister.

Maybe you should see the counselor more often?

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:27pm

I don't really know what's going on with your story. Your DD is a baby? But not your DH's?

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 8:46pm

Dd is OUR baby. I have such a strong feeling sd is not his. He even said it to me a while ago that he doesn't m ow how she could be. And I can't explain how I feel. I just don't like sd an I can't stand her jdong my baby

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 9:02pm

Obviously your DH has made it clear he was willing to be a father to SD though and that means a lot - I know to me my SDad sometimes means more to me than my biofather. This shouldn't matter to you though who cares he chose to be a dad to her...

I just what is it that makes you so much dislike your baby? To me I mean would you let MIL hold the baby? She isn't YOUR mom...I just calm down. In no way have you mentioned anything that shows SD is trying to harm your baby let her hold her that is what she knows as her sister.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 9:09pm

Are you saying that you don't want ANY child nt related to your or your husband holding your baby., or is this feeling reserved just for her.

I'm not bashing, just throwing this out there for you to think about. Are these feelings towards this little girl borne from resentment and jealousy toward her. Do you want your husband to walk away from this little girl because she is not biologically his. If so, have you considered the life long impact that would have on that child. Would you want some other woman to treat your child this way

I think you might want to examine your reasons for feeling this way. Is the child a threat to your child. If not, then, is it all about your jealousy. If so, you need to work seriously hard on that. That jealousy could be the reason your marriage could fail and your ow beautiful baby could become someone's stepchild.

I think the answer to it all is within you, but you do need to realise its unfair to ask your husband to give up a child he considers his own because you don't consider her family and you just want him all for yourself and your daughter. This child is a living, breathing human being, just like your own child. You cannot cast either of them out with the rubbish, or because you don't like them anymore. They are people.

Please don't think I'm bashing sometimes the people who care the most are the ones who don't tell you what you want to hear.

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 10:10pm

Than you dtzy! I honestly whe heartily don't want to feel this way. She's an innocent child who has done nothing wrong in any way for me to feel this way. And yes my emotions ARE all over the place right now. And I realize it. I decided a few weeks ago to start counceling. I k ow part of it is for the past 2 and a half months I'm in my house alone all the time as we are down to one car right now. Sounds silly I k ow. But I'm not working. I'm with my 2 month old. But I feel trapped. I live an hr away from family and friends. No one comes over cause they act like Wei e across country cause all the fam is use to live 10 minutes from each other. So I have way too much time in my hands and let me tell you my mind is constantly going so that's where it starts. Someone mentioned jealousy. What is there to be jealous about?

JennSunnySideUp's picture

Submitted by JennSunnySideUp on Fri, 09/27/2013 - 10:04pm

^^^^^^^^^ This post. Had the same kind of internal pullback the very first time SD called me mom. It doesn't bother me now but the first few weeks of it I cringed each time.

Must check this book out. Smile

SummerMomma719's picture

Submitted by SummerMomma719 on Sat, 09/28/2013 - 3:49am

Like I've have mentioned before i have never and will never act on my feelings towards her. I'm not that cold hearted

QueenBeau's picture

Submitted by QueenBeau on Sat, 09/28/2013 - 11:05pm

You aren't alone. I almost chocked on my drink the first time SD told me she loved me. It was out of nowhere, like we are in walmart & she looks at me & says "Queen, I love you"

I was like -cough- "um... oh, I love you too" -forced smile-