I've already posted about this, but I can't find the post anywhere. I'll try to make this more succinct.

-I once had a terrible experience with a man who had 2 kids. Loved the kids to death, but not the BM. Dated him for 2 years, close to being engaged. All was well until I started questioning him and BM's new "friendship". This friendship "for the kids sake" had no boundaries as far as calling and texting eachother to check up on the kids. When they began meeting eachother out for family outings, I was out of there and never looked back. Turns out, they began fucking eachother again soonafter I left. Took me a long time to heal, but once I was healed, I began dating men with NO kids. My promise to myself was to never date a man with kids again!!!

FF to now.....2 years later.

-Have had 2 short term relationship - each around 4 months. And a few dates that never progressed to a 2nd date. All with men without kids. The issue? I'm 35 and seeking men my age, give or take a few years. The men w/o kids that I've dated can be grouped into two categories: Extremely full of themselves.....or......socially awkward.

I then met someone 6 weeks ago. And he has a 6 yo daughter. He is very down-to-earth and just my type. I haven't met the daughter yet. We talked about my insecurities, and he seemed very empathetic for what I went thru with my ex. And he assured me that he and BM have clear boundaries that he will never allow her to cross over. He has full custody /bc BM is unstable - moves around alot, several relationships in a year, parties alot.... and she rarely sees their daughter. He said they rarely talk, never text, and she is no threat to his future relationships because he won't allow her to be a threat. Sounds good, right?

When I asked how is daughter feels about rarely seeing BM, he said that she does ask about her and throws tantrums on occasion. His brother is a counselor and said she is likely throwing tantrums to test BD, seeing if he is going to leave her, too.

I don't want to run. I want to stay and see where things go. He seems like such a good guy with a good head on his shoulders. And he wants to have more kids - something I really want and don't have much time to do at my age. but the daughter throwing tantrums thing makes me wonder if I should run. Kids throw tantrums and test their parents....so why is this making my stomach knot up. I am not sure if it's a true red flag, or, if I'm just so burned from my last ex.