First, I hope I’m posting this in the right spot. This is my first time here, so I’m in need of some help. I’ve been reading all your stories for a while now and you have all helped me a ton so far, but I feel like it’s time for me to share my story so I can get some much needed feedback. I appreciate any advice you can give me. I really have no idea what to do or where to go with my situation.

To start, I have a BF of 1 year. He has 3 teenage daughters, and I have 2 little boys. We moved in together last summer. We all hit it off when we met and we decided to move in together 4 months after we met. Things were great, but got interesting when I moved in. When I showed up the girls were pretty much in charge of the house and were disrespectful to their dad. No manners and trashed the house. He shared 50/50 custody with his ex, but paid out child support. The ex was very much involved in their lives and decisions even though this was never disclosed to me in the beginning. (maybe even denied when I asked) I was told she wasn’t in the picture but a few months into our relationship she was invited to his family birthday party at his house and I was casually told she was coming the day before the party. We met, she FREAKED out and went crazy. She talked lots of crap about me to the kids (even though she’s married with a son, and they’ve been divorced for 8 years.) Needless to say he did stick up for me, cut her off, and went to court to modify the parenting plan to reflect their current schedule so she would stop threatening him, etc. It has been a rough year and I put up with a lot from the kids, but they eventually saw what their mom was doing and stopped being rude to us. Fast forward to today, things are a lot better, but I’m now at a crossroad in our relationship and I don’t know if I should keep investing in something that has gotten a ton better, but might not be the best situation for me and my boys. My boys very much like my BF and his girls are now super nice to me and treat me great, but situations do come up. My main concern is that I want to do what’s best for my boys. I don’t want to rob them of a childhood even though they like my BF. I usually make the decisions in the house now but he still at times has 3 vocal teenagers, even if they are told to knock it off. And even though they usually behave, they’re extremely messy, and very loud. Typical teenage stuff, but I feel like the spot light is always on the girls, as they’re the loudest. My boys also pick up on a lot of things that aren’t age appropriate and even though my BF and I have said not to do things, they slow down, but don’t completely stop. Also, at times there’s 3 addition moms in the house telling my boys what to do, and no matter how many times my BF tells them to stop, sometimes they don’t. I also think if it came down to it, even though they call me mom, they would throw me under the bus if they had to. For instance, over Easter, my mom came over so we could all go out to brunch. Well, my mom and BF got into it, and he actually told her to get out of HIS house. I was in my room getting dressed, so they were all waiting for me, and when I came out she was gone. I went off on him, which isn’t like me, and I shouldn’t have done it (well not in front of the kids..) Well the oldest daughter got upset and yelled at us. Which was fine. The situation was stupid and she was right. Anyway, I agreed with her point and was going to talk about it with everyone. I get up to walk away, and she demanded an apology, so I was like…really? I didn’t think it was appropriate and my BF didn’t say anything. Needless to say, I went out to brunch with my mom and boys, and then came back and spent the rest of the day with him and his girls. Well, as I was leaving he goes…”she just wanted an apology..” I was floored!!! Really?? So, we get over that, he apologized to the family for everything, and as we were having a family talk the oldest yelled to her dad to grow a backbone. Hmm…all this after taking care of her and her sisters which now live with us FULL time because her mom is a flake, and she doesn’t want to go see her mom. I went off on her, this time in her room though. I was upset since she only really wants me to be her mom when it’s convenient for her, and I told her that. Since then we’ve all be ok. Same daily stuff as usual. I told him the same old thing, and that there HAS to be consequences for certain behaviors. He’ll say ok, and follow through for a day, or half a day, but that’s about it. Last time he said he really doesn’t like always having to discipline. He finally decided to jump on board with the discipline, but NOW he’s chosen to discipline the boys more (they’re not angles either). And he’s not very nice about it. To top it all off, he got frustrated with my youngest who’s 5 (and who pushed into my BF when he got mad), and so my BF pushed him back and he got a huge cut on his face. I’m seriously so upset about it right now. The boys are currently staying at my mom’s while I figure it out, but I told him this sort of thing is a deal breaker for me and he’s put me in a really tough position. He said he understood and hasn’t said anything to me since (for the past 3 days). I really feel like things can and could have been salvaged if he felt it was important to have a heart to heart talk with me about things and offered to get help, or at least fought for our relationship. He’s already been in anger management from spanking his oldest daughter when she was younger, but that was a long time ago. I told him I wanted to get married (which we’ve never talked about) and have a family, which is what we were working toward, but he had nothing to say after that. I asked him later if he had anything to say, and he said that he did, but it doesn’t change what happened. Other than not being so great at following through with discipline my boyfriend has been really great to me, and has flown me and my boys out for Christmas to meet his family. We usually do things as a family and have fun. There obviously are positives otherwise I wouldn’t still be there. My BF is always willing to help and will take care of the boys any time I need help. Ok, so I think I left I gave you all the negatives, but on a daily basis my BF and I have a pretty good relationship. We never fight about issues with us. We used to fight about issues with BM in the beginning, but once he’s gone to court that all stopped. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you as much info as I could. ANY advice would seriously be priceless right now. I’m so stressed out about where to go from here?