Very annoyed with DH with weekend for not supporting my decisions on disciplining his younger son (SS7) when he’s not here.

Two weeks ago, I found mud all over the back hallway with little footprints. There could only be one culprit and I’ve warned him multiple times about tracking mud in the house. I confronted SS7 about the mud, he blamed my son (he wears shoes 4 sizes bigger). I told him he was grounded for lying and tracking mud in the house and told him to get a mop to clean it up. A little later, DH got back from running errands and told SS7 that he needed to get ready to go to his basketball game before I had a chance to tell him that SS7 was grounded.

I stopped SS7 as he was trying to sneak out before I could tell his dad that he was grounded. SS7 started whining, and instead of backing me up, DH told him he could go since he had cleaned up the mud. We’ve always had the agreement that whatever I say goes and vice verse with our kids. But he completely ignores that I grounded SS7 and let him go.

This weekend, DH had to go into work to cover for a guy who had at heart attack, so I was home with the boys.

SS7 had a taekwondo belt test on Saturday that DH said he would take him to. All that morning, he was a hyperactive little brat and the last thing I wanted to do was waste all afternoon driving him to his belt test and back. So I told he couldn’t go because his dad let him out of being grounded last week, so he was going to serve it this week.

I wanted to make sure to enforce the grounding since if I didn’t, why would SS7 or SS9 do anything I say if they knew their dad could completely overrule me?

We live about 1-2 hours away (depending on traffic) from their BM’s town, which is where his taekondo school is, so it’s a major imposition asking anyone to drive him that far.

BM called DH’s cell phone asking why SS7 wasn’t at the belt test (she was there waiting for him) so I got a call from DH and explained to him about SS7 being punished. He got all pissed off about it.

SS7 and SS9 sign up for all these sports and activities that are on weekends and then expect DH to drive them to them while they’re here. They have no appreciation for this, they expect it. I want to get it through their thick skulls that going to activities is a privilege they need to earn and they need to respect their parent’s time. I barely have any time for myself and I’m suppose to spend over 4 hours taking him to a stupid karate class?

I hoped that having to wait another 3 months to test for his yellow belt teach SS7 a valuable lesson. But no, his BM threw a fit and got the instructor to schedule a private belt test for him on Friday.

I know his taekwondo school checks report cards and any bad behavior at school or at home can result in kids getting in trouble there or not being able to get certain rewards (including belt tests). I would love to call them up and tell them about how SS7 should not be able to take his belt test because he has been a terror at his dad’s home. But I’m a stepmom, my opinion doesn’t matter, even to DH.