My Husband's ex is just RUDE!
I have to vent to get this off my chest! Maybe you guys can help me calm down? 
This past weekend we had my stepson. His b-day is coming up at the end of this month, so we were going to have a family party for him on sunday after church. Then we would drop him off at the usualy time of 7pm at his mom's house. Well, she decided to pick him up unannounced at noon?! She calls us everytime we have him to "check up on him". We have been getting him on weekends for the past 4 years! He goes home in one piece every time! He loves it at our house. He actually threw a fit when he saw his Mom at our door to get him. He was excited to go to his primary class and spend the evening with us! I just think it's rude she took him during OUR time with him! She gets him 24/7! She said she tried calling 3 times, and she did but our phones were off so they didn't ring in church! I just get so frustrated and going to court to get custody is tooo much money right now.. My Husband is going to write her a letter and make it civil and respectful, but I just want to take her to court and have a judge slam her down! She has nothing bad to say against us. We pay CS faithfully and we have him insured and take him when it's convienient for her! It's just unfair! Everyone always says "Oh poor single mom" BUT I have such a different outlook on single moms now, and that's because she has been awful to us. I feel bad for saying it but I have no sympathy for single moms who are evil and try to break up homes of their ex husband and new wife.
I am just upset because she took him away during our time with him, she calls him when its our time with him. It's nnot enough for her to have him everyday! She has to check up on us when we have him and we are not babysitters! I hope one day he will come live with us, but I fear that she will brainwash him into thnking material things are what is important. Yeah she is the disneyland mom...My Husband and I work hard, are getting through school and live life simply, we don't spoil the heck out of my SS but I am sure she does.
I feel bad for my SS too because his older bro and sister and jealous of him that he can see his Dad and their Dad wants nothing to do with them. So, of course they are mean and beat him up literally...He dreds going home...Maybe I need to send child services over to her house?
Thanks for reading!
The only thing I can think
The only thing I can think of for your husband to do is to try to work this out with a mediator. That way you have the times set but what you should do is plan ahead for holidays vacations and what not. Think everything through thoroughly then jot stuff down and present it to the mediator. Come to an agreement then the mediator will submit it to a judge and if he thinks it looks good, he will okay it and you will have it put in in writing and then she'll be in trouble for violating that order by intruding on your time with him. I am not sure if going through a mediator costs anything or not. You would have to look into that for your area. Good luck.
Why did you let him go?
I would have just told her that it was your time and that you would bring him to her at the usual time. I don't think she could have done anything about that.
Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
Do you have a court order?
Do you have a court order that sets forth the times for your visitation? If you do, and it says 7 pm, then your husband should have simply told her to come back at seven. If you don't have any type of court order, then he still could have told her to come back at 7 pm and I don't believe he would have been in any type of violation as there isn't a court ordered agreement in which he would be in contempt. As far as the calling, just hit ignore on the phone if it's a cell phone, or let it go to answering machine if it's a home phone.
In the divorce decree we do have set times....
but it's at the worst possible time for us. It's during the week! Stupid! We are going 500 miles per hour during the week. So that's why we just get him here and there. When his ex came over to get him I was in the back drying my hair so I didn't even hear her, otherwise I would have said NO! We have a birthday party for him today. Anyways we are just taking notes of her stupid actions and will one day go to a judge and slam her. Thanks for the advice about a mediator..I am def going to look into that!
And if we did ignore her phone calls, she would constantly call until someone picked up or she would just show up like she did on Sunday and that is wrong to do during our time with him....I wish my Husband didn't answer the door! Next time we won't that's for sure...But knowing her she would call the police because she would think something was wrong. It makes us feel that we can't handle him or wouldn't know what to do if something was wrong. Oh well we just have to roll it off and laugh behind her back because she is digging herself in the hole. I know for a fact from other friends custody battles that a judge would slam her down right now for what she is doing.....Thanks again for all your advice!
Get the time of visitation set.
It seems from your follow-up comments that your husband is going to get more forceful with her. Let the cops come and continue to not answer the door.There is no law about being at home.
You must get a court order that is more reasonable as to the times and days of visits and stick to it religiously. Do not allow her to deviate one minute from it and do not deviate yourself.
You are completely powerless in this situation so its better that your husband deal with this while you stand behind him.
His ex is just doing this as harassment and the sooner he puts up firm resistance the sooner it'll end.
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There's an exception to everything I say.
I understand
I understand. My SS mom calls all the time when we are suppose to have him. We don't even get him the weekends we are suppose to because she has made plans for something for them to do. She promises him they will do things - but then doesn't carry out half the time. I have tried my best not to let it bother me - even though it really does. One of my friends told me - "It is his problem - until he steps up to her - then it will continue." I even suggested to him in conversations that it is a shame he is missing out on his son's life so much - but that he's the only one that can do something about it. The agreement is even in the Court Docs. I just have to deal with it - but it drives me CRAZY!